2 weeks ago
Saturday, November 15, 2008
So, yesterday, after writing my post, the kids finally went to bed and I got some chores done and ate and then took a shower, washed my hair, got dressed... you know the maintenance of daily living. I then sat down to write my word count for the day and was...
I found myself in a place of plot jumble. And a place of exhaustion. I sat there, in my writing corner, for a while, mulling over what I had written. I pounded out a confused 790 words mostly on a scene that I will probably delete/hilight in red for deletion after nano. I stared out the window. I took some self portraits of me in my writing "studio." (That's my inspiration board/altar you see behind me, with flowers, tower of stones, a small cardboard house that I made, paintings and prints, art supplies, magazine clippings and the cat who likes to bless the altar/inspiration.) I had a tootsie pop from the kids halloween stash. And then I decided to take a nap.
During writing time. I don't take naps, so it's a reflection of how tired I was. But more than that, it is about giving myself some space to do nothing. I have been working really hard for a long time now, leaving not much for rejuvenation.
So I decided to do nothing (or as much nothing as I could) for the rest of the day. I took a magazine with me when the kids played in the garden, and I flipped through it, rather than trying to draw or write in my journal or even do a photo shoot. I let the kids choose their own dinner and ended up with a mishmash of sandwich/snacks/leftovers. I watched a good movie on the big screen, lights off, instead of painting during tv time.
I feel better today. And today is starting my weeklong 38th birthday week. My mom is taking the kids out to shop for my birthday present and I am going to sit in a coffeeshop and write and draw and read magazines and be a non mommy for a few hours. Tee Hee. I don't do much to celebrate the actual day, so I like to indulge myself a few times and relax for the week.
I wonder if my productivity will come back with energy because I gave myself room to do nothing, to let my subconscious free, to dream, to sleep, to play, to relax.
I tell you, it wasn't until I was thinking that I'd have nothing to post today that I realized how the image from yesterday had influenced my whole day. Very interesting. Nothing can really be powerful.
nanowrimo total 32950
AEDM # 14 (Self Portrait in Writing Studio)