I Love You Anyway, or The Girl Makes Peace with Herself

I Love You Anyway, or The Girl Makes Peace with Herself
Golden Fluid Acrylic and Watercolor Pencil on Paper, 6"x9"

This is her! The Inspire Me Prompt winning prompt painting.

The winners (I told you it was two people's who got the wheels turning) are:

Lissa!
who said:

2 girls/women
representing the light and dark
for it resides in us all
back to back or attached in some way-maybe hugging the moon.

(Can't help it-for I am a Mermaid Moon Goddess-searching for her lost soul twin)

and

Leah!
who said:
Here's my prompt, based on my last blog post: A dialogue with your inner critic through art.

If you can see, Lissa started the thoughts going and when I read Leah's it seemed to give it context so in came my two strange circus girls. Or is it just one girl?

I really like this painting. I do not know if it will be a start of a new series, or a stand alone piece, but I don't think it needs to be set and defined so clearly.

By the way, I loved all of your ideas and many of them are starting other things bubbling, so we will have to see what happens. Sometime this week, I'd like to talk more about the prompts and all, but right now, I have to finish up and get the kids going.

Ladies, thank you all for your lovely prompts. And I do have more to say, I am just limited in time.

Lissa and Leah I will be getting in touch with you shortly to get your information.

Uh oh, kids are up. Must skedaddle.

"remember" says the Girl in the Wings

"remember" says the Girl in the Wings
ACEO, acrylic on paper 2.5"x3.5"

This painting comes from the Illustration Friday prompt "theater".

Actually, there's more to it. I have a much larger work... or two not so much larger works... that really give the frame for this piece. (Not sure how much my life supports larger works. I may have to go a little smaller. Not enough time or focus to detail the bigger things.)

The image that you can't see shows a couple in formal dress dancing a waltz on stage. It looks like the perfect image of love, but beneath the stage, are shadowy figures who are doing all the work that makes the performers look effortless.

That's my idea here of theater. The appearance, the show, what everybody sees on the outside, and how it is supported by creatures dressed in black, scuttling around, doing the dirty work, getting angry and anxious and finding the words to say, and keeping the energy going. Who prompts the beautiful lovers when they have lost their words of love?

This girl does. She likes the shadows and she can't dance, but she will remind you where you are going next... because she knows where you came from.

and if you have any inspiration for my next works, leave a comment on this post, and you might win a print of the painting you inspire.

The Gold Fish Pond

The Goldfish Pond
Ttv (through the viewfinder) casio exilm through Duaflex II

You'll have to excuse me folks, I am in a huge funk.

This is despite the fact that some good things are happening. The publishing of today's BlissChick interview (the Rowena of that interview has much more wisdom than the Rowena of this post, so go see what she has to say instead of me). The recent publishing of my Pecannoot interview (seriously, funk here, go there). Even hitting my 500th post and having a subsequent giveaway. These are good things.

And yet, life is conspiring in a way to make it really hard to be positive.

I am trying, though. I am trying.

As evidence, my photo above.

See the beautiful feast of flowers that are blooming in the muck of our little goldfish pond? Despite the showers of dirt and pebbles and who knows what that my littles have been dumping in there for a year, they are lush and gorgeous.

Is there a metaphor here? Out of the muck of the swamp(ish) the beauty is born.

Waiting for those blossoms, here.

she remembers the sunsets and (unrelated) The Superfantabulous Inspire Me Winning Prompt Giveaway!

she remembers the sunsets
8"x10" Acrylic on Paper

Hello from a new land.

I seem to be going someplace, and the map is not clear. I know this painting was inspired by the colors turquoise and red. And the ideas of beach and portrait.

My Flying Girls have been continuing their journey for most of six months. Maybe longer. The format has allowed me to explore many things, both in meaning and in technique.

But other things seem to want to get out right now.

What a mystery.

Where do they come from? What makes them come when they do?

Sometimes I am amazed that something that did not exist yesterday is now a fully formed... something.

Is life like that too? Do things work under the surface unseen by us, only to pop up when they are ready and become real living (or seemingly living) things?

Let me tell you another thing that is new:

This is my 500th post! All those words! All those days! All those journeys! I just kept going step by step and then here I am, 500 posts later and I am in a totally different place than I was when I first started. Physically, mentally, creatively.

It kind of snuck up on me. I knew it was coming but it snuck up on me all the same.

Now here I am, and I am not quite sure where I am. Well. I'm RIGHT HERE, but what I mean is, I'm not quite sure what comes next.

So in honor of my befuddlement, I am offering a giveaway!

Of what?

I don't know!

That's where you come in.

The Superfantabulous Inspire Me Winning Prompt Giveaway!

To enter the giveaway, leave a comment here on this post, and in your comment, leave a prompt for me to use to create a new painting. You can make it a quote or a word or phrase, another image, a challenge, a technique, a social issue or whatever you think might get those juices flowing. Use your creativity to stoke my creativity. Haha. This is a ridiculous giveaway, but it's mine and I choose to be ridiculous.

I will paint a picture from the winning prompt and you will receive a limited edition print of that painting.

Bonus points if your prompt helps me find the next direction for my work. (A surprise secret additional gift. [No I have no idea what that would be, either.])

Also leave your name and a way to get in contact with you, because otherwise, how do I get it to you?

I will keep this giveaway open until Midnight, New York time, Sunday, May 3.

Let the inspiration races begin!


she remembers the sunsets is for sale as a print here

A Painting Break and a Giveaway Link

No painting today. This is just a little girl giving mommy a flower. A little girl who is now TWO whole years old.

I'm working on a painting, but it's kind of stumped me, and I was too tired last night to get it sorted out. I'm sitting here staring at it right now, wondering what I will make of it. I even considered dropping it and moving on to the next one... but I have learned quite a few things about allowing the mistakes to become the victories.

I think I'm still holding on to an image in my head with this one, so I'm kind of unable to see what it actually is. Well, we'll find out tomorrow.

As it is, I wanted to point your direction to an interview about being a mom and artist I've had published over here at Thursday Sweet Treats. It was enlightening to write it, and I hope you can get something out of it. Also check out what Natasha is doing with her cool blog and say thanks to her.

Oh, yeah... you can also enter the drawing for a print giveaway. Just give a tip you use to get your creativity going.

Save The World, That's All

"Is...Was" detail [Final panel in triptych]
September 2001
Acrylic on Paper

It's no secret that we are going through some tough times in the world right now. Everytime I turn on the television or open a newspaper, there are more stories of doom and gloom. I've myself have been in serious financial turmoil for the past couple of years. They keep saying the worst is yet to come.

I should be scared.

But I'm not.

I'm not stupid, but I do have a different way of looking at things. Instead of seeing the current difficulties as the end of the world, I see them as the transition between this era, and a new one. Granted, no one really knows what this new era will bring, but somewhere inside of me, I have faith that this new world will be a wonderful transformation.

Financial disaster is not a new experience. Not for me, not for this country, not for the world. Growing up in poverty, I learned the difference between really being poverty stricken and just being poor. The difference is hope. That is all.

A person without hope is trapped in their place of destitution. A person with hope can see the blessings and possibilities even in having an empty refrigerator or not being able to afford those needed shoes/heat/housing. It doesn't mean we don't struggle. It means we create with what we have. We create happiness, we create a better situation, we create opportunities.

It's not a coincidence that I chose for this post a painting I did after 9/11. Because it's all about what comes out destruction, loss, pain. And it's also about using art to find that meaning.

One of the things I have become very clear on in my current time of constraints, and through my past struggles, is that art will save the world. Okay, well, art is ONE of the things that will save the world. And it just happens to be MY thing, the thing that I have to give the world.

I'm not just talking about Picasso or Van Gogh or Rembrandt. I'm not even talking about my art. I'm talking about art for everyone. I'm talking about helping others discover the art inside of themselves. When we believe we can create our visions and make them come real on paper, it gets that much easier to create our dreams and put them into reality in the world. When we look at our thoughts and feelings and fears and hopes and give them the respect of listening to them and turning them into something tangible, we begin to understand who we are and what we are made of.

My path in life, is, I think, to inspire people to see the power inside of themselves.

I used to think I just wanted to write books. I thought it was a selfish wish. Then I became a teacher of inner city kids, and I watched the transformative power of art in action. IN ACTION. I saw broken hearts healed. I saw the search for enlightenment. I saw blossoming self-confidence. I saw the recognition of the soul. I saw goals being reached. I saw so many different powers grow in the students I taught. Some friends and I started a women's workshop using art, and the same thing happened. It was amazing and it was evidence. Art can save the world. No matter our circumstances, through art, we can find hope and make a new world for ourselves.

I still want to write and to paint, and I want to share my art and writing with others, but in addition, I want to open a business-- one that is about empowering people through art. This coming year, this is the year when I take the steps to no longer follow someone else's path, but to carve my own.

These ideas have been floating around in my head for quite a while. More than a decade, actually. And now they are closer than ever before. Classes, articles, e-books, chapbooks, blogs, workshops, both online and IRL, inspirational products, like cards and prints and booklets. This is just the tip of the iceberg, but goodness, the ideas make me smile.

So why post about it now?

Well, aside from my plans to focus 2009 on "The Year of the Business Woman," (that would be me, folks. A radical departure from my self-identity in any other year) I am also entering into an HP Giveaway over at Living in Theory, Stop Drop and Blog and at Merlot Mom. They want to know what I would do if I won the booty. How I would help others. This is how I would use that booty to help others. I would start my business. And my business is to empower others.

Oh, there is one other difficulty with this business. My partners, those friends I mentioned, with whom I've been working on this project for years, well, they're spread out over the U.S.-- Virginia, New Orleans, New York, Connecticut, and many of them have been going through financial difficulties of their own. I would do my best to make sure that they all had what they needed so that the whole world could benefit from their wisdom. The printer, the laptops would find their way to those women, software. It's been very hard to organize things when not everyone has access to a computer regularly, and my old computer needs to be replaced to step up into the world the way I want to, but whether or not I win this giveaway (we all know the chances are slim and get slimmer with every entry) I am still going to tackle this dream. It's a dream of helping people discover their own dreams. It's worth the struggle.

And the Winner Is...

Congratulations, Shelly Lowenkopf! You won Flying Girl and the Whale. May she bring you focus and dedication, and give you access to your own universal forces.

This is what Flying Girl and the Whale says to Shelly.

The whale speaks most because of the way it reminds me of the Ahab tendencies I have for good and for failure, a splendid object lesson on the uses of focus and dedication and the lessons to be had from them.

Then there is the Flying Girl who now represents to me the Mother of the Universe, Kali Ma, Herself, neither fearful of the whale nor trying to control him, posing for a photo op with another of the many universal forces available to her.

He always amazes me with his insight and wisdom, and he has helped me out in my writing again and again, just with some coincidence of posting about just what I need to hear. For more of his wisdom, check out his blog.

And just in case my gushing has you questioning my impartiality, I didn't pick the winner. Little Bunny wanted to do it.

I wrote the names on strips of paper and then rolled them around a paintbrush handle. (Is that symbolic? I didn't mean it to be.) I think that's actually called paper quilling. Then I dumped the paper quills into a glass jar, and the little girl got right in there.

I had to take the whole dog and pony (quill and bunny?) show out to the porch, which serves as my photo studio, so I could have a little photo shoot.



She's still playing with the jar and paper quills now. They're all over the floor. No, now they're back in the glass jar.





Anyway. Thank you all for your wonderful wishes and entering the giveaway. I thought it was lots of fun and will be having more in the future. It's fun to give away things.

Shelly, I will be in touch to get your information. :)

I hope you all had a good Thanksgiving, if you celebrate it. And if not, I hope you had a great week.

Portrait In Process

So I told you yesterday that someone wanted me to do a commission? Well, here's my practice painting. Is that what it would be called? It's based on a photo of these two lovely folks.

I should have taken a picture of the original sketch, which I drew in blue watercolor pencils, but I didn't realize I wanted to keep track of the process. I should have, seeing as I'm going to have to reproduce this in a larger format. I really like the way the watercolor pencils blend into the acrylic paintings. I can use it or cover it up.

This is the underpainting. When I saw it, I thought... hey I like this! And I wanted to not only document it so I could reproduce it, but also, I just liked the way it looked. Oh, and sorry for the bad photo, it was done way late at night, with no natural light.
Then, I added white over the blue sky for clouds, and white on the tshirts. I like the way they meld together. In fact, when I did this layer, I said, "I still like it!" I guess I'm worried that I'll fuss with it until I ruin it. Always a problem when you are invested in the outcome. You've got to get over the fear of losing what is and just take the chances that what it ends up being will be good. I think that's called having faith in yourself.
Here is a more detailed stage. I've added the green of the grass and some facial details. I think I got him, but she is harder to paint... fewer shadows.
Cape Cod Double Portrait
11/26/08 AEDM #26
Golden Fluid Acrylic, Prismacolor Watercolor Pencils


I really like this style, but I need to ask my customer (OMG I have a customer) if this is what she is envisioning. I've tried more realistic painting styles, and it doesn't really turn out to my liking. I do think maybe I can venture some better flesh tones and some more detail in the grass and sand. I really like a narrow palette, just a few colors, and this color scheme is so light and airy. I want the couple to stand out from the background, but I don't want them to be separate from it. I like the unified feel of foreground and background. I am now at the stage where I don't want to mess it up. I don't want it to be much more than what it is now. I want that kind of rough look, but I'd like to go just one step more "finished." She definitely needs some pink in her lips.

However, this is the practice painting, so I don't really have anything to lose. I still have the photo if I want to go back to the simpler version. Or perhaps something different entirely.

Hey, J! If you see this, what do you think? Email me and we can work together.

Oh, and as for Nano...I wrote about 25 words yesterday in my novel. I had painting to do and I had correspondence to keep up with. And I wanted to see the rest of Anne of Green Gables. I was being indulgent, and I'm okay with that, especially since I have to cook Thanksgiving dinner (or half of it) today. I'm going to wrap this up, then shuffle the kids off to bed, take a shower, and come down to chop onions and make glaze.

It's a good thing I was so far ahead at the beginning of November.

As for the winner of the Giveaway... I can realistically say I'm not doing the drawing today on top of cooking dinner, painting and maybe even some writing. Look for the winner tomorrow!

Happy Birthday To Me Giveaway! Flying Girl Flyaway!

Flying Girl and the Whale, or Messages from Below
11/19/08 AEDM #18
Golden Fluid Acrylic on Cold Pressed Watercolor Paper, 5"x7"

Flying Girl and the Ship, or Messages from Above
11/19/08 AEDM #19
Golden Fluid Acrylic on Cold Pressed Watercolor Paper, 5"x7"


Happy Birthday to me! Happy Giveaway to you!!!!!

My first giveaway. I'm so excited. I still do not have my tech up to get down to business and open my etsy store (although I believe we are getting close), BUT I really wanted to thank all of you who have visited and appreciated what I am doing.

So I painted a thank you!

I did these both this morning. Last night I was so tired I could not paint, and was disappointed, because I had been planning my surprise party giveaway for a while. But this morning, these two sisters rose out of the depths (or came down from above, depending on which sister) and demanded to be listened to.

They are both originals, not prints. I will give one of them away... you just get to choose which one. So here's how you can win.


1. Choose the sister who speaks to you. (Flying Girl and the Whale, or Flying Girl and the Ship)
2. Tell me in the comments what she is saying to you.
3. Make sure you leave a way for me to get in contact with you. (Look at that, you don't even need a blog.)
4. Be lucky... because I will draw numbers randomly. One entry per person.
5. Be timely, because the giveaway will end at midnight, Eastern Time, November 26. I will post the winner on Thursday, November 27th-- coincidentally Thanksgiving Day.

Yay! I'm so excited. Let's get this party started!!

PS I'm choosing these paintings for the Illustration Friday prompt of "opinion," because these sisters see things from different perspectives, and boy does that seem to influence their difference of opinions. Plus, you are offered a choice/opinion between the two.