|How To Reappear: Listen To Your Heart Beating, by Rowena Murillo|
The process of coming back from a fallow creative period can be very difficult.
Uhm, like, REALLY difficult.
I think we do a lot of self flagellation over not being able to create. Hand wringing, hair pulling, shirt rending. Metaphorically, I hope.
If you're an artist, shouldn't it be EASY to create? Shouldn't it come naturally? Shouldn't it be something you want to do and like doing? Shouldn't it be fun?
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. It should.
Except for when it isn't. Because sometimes creating is hard and it's like pulling teeth and you want to avoid it because it is facing things you really don't want to confront and it's not fun at all because, goshdarnit, it is hard work! And that is just as it should be, too.
So, yeah. I've been in a deep creative funk, at this point for a couple of years. I'm always trying to get it back, I'm often doing projects and writing novels and snapping photos and writing in my journal and taking workshops and doing challenges and these are all good ways to get your mojo back, but in some ways, I've lost my direction.
At some point, I have to pull all my little projects together and make it mean something. Something for myself, give it a purpose.
But what happens if I don't know what purpose I want to have?
I wonder, maybe, if this is the reason for my creative slump.
Maybe instead of spending my time with figuring out what projects I want to do, or how I want to do them or when I have time to squeeze them in, perhaps I need to spend some time working on WHY I want to be creative.
Why? What is my purpose? What fills my life with meaning? What is that something that keeps me going?
How the heck are you supposed to figure out that?
To answer that, I refer back to the drawing. Follow the things you love. Follow the things that fill your heart with gladness. Follow the things that make your heart say "yes." Just keep following them.
Take real steps to make those things a part of your life. Find the "yes," say "yes" to it. Do. Don't imagine it, don't say "oh that's really nice, I should try that, what's playing on netflix?" (btdt)