Sunday, November 09, 2008

Flying Girl Will Make It Through, or Believe

Flying Girl Will Make It Through, or Believe
11/8/08 AEDM #8
Golden Fluid Acrylics

Nanowrimo grand total 21,227 (3362 words yesterday)


Been thinking about change, lately. And how scary it can be to change. We are creatures of habit and we like to know how things work. Like my routine, for instance. I have created my routine around me so that I can keep track of my work, my life, my kids, my brain.

But perhaps it is good to shake things up a bit sometimes.

Yesterday, instead of putting the kids to bed right at noon, I let them play in their room. Now G always plays in his room, while Ivy sleeps in her crib, but yesterday, I brought up some of the playroom toys and put them in their room. The new set up gave the toys a new light, and they were fun again, after languishing in the corner. They played together, creating a choo choo train out of a play mat and who know what else they did, since they waved bye bye to me and shut the door whenever I came to check on them. Finally, we get to a place where they can entertain each other.

The same day, we decided to rearrange the house, moving the playroom to a smaller, enclosed porch, with more light and air. The boy loved it right away, seeming to feel a sense of ownership over "his" room. The girl needed some adjustment, feeling uncomfortable until she realized she could pull the little side table up to her little chair and eat or draw or whatever. Now they love it.

I have to say I feel a little disoriented. I may be more like Ivy in needing to adjust and find my way in the new situation, but at the same time, it feels like air has been let into even more areas of life. I know it will take me a few days to adjust, to rearrange my space, my day and my habits, but otherwise, I feel as if there is room now for some new paths. Wait until I fix it up and show you my new "office." I never would have shown you my previous one. This is my working station when the kids are awake, where I can research and plan and list, before I get to the real work when the kids go down. New play space, new work space.

Yes. More change. Life, not political slogan.

What does this have to do with my FG today? Maybe I'm wondering about the constraints of the FG project. I mean, how long will I continue? I enjoy FG, but day in and day out for almost two months now? I'm getting a little bit tired.

I don't really want to give up painting every day... but sometimes our routines benefit by being shaken up, just witness changing the playroom around. The kids have more independence in their new space and I feel as if there's a little less clutter in my head and it allowed my new work area. A place where I can still supervise the littles, but not be stuck into a little cluttered corner.

I have an idea for the FG project that I have been kicking around in my head for years. I've always been a little too frightened to start it, because it's a big project that is a bit demanding. But after doing FG all this time, I've begun to believe that I am actually fully capable of doing this new project. I don't know if it will all work out, but all of my FG pictures didn't work out, either. Some of them, though, I just adore and succeeded beyond my expectations. The project itself, the whole of it, succeeded beyond anything I thought would happen.

So that brings me back to today's FG. It's very simple. I did that on purpose. It's a return to the beginning of FG, silhouettes and horizon. But I added a word. "Believe." Because, really it's about faith. You have to have faith in yourself, so that you can move forward and reach your dreams. Even if you are frightened by the scope of a project, or by the unknown, or the possibility of failure, you have to believe that you can handle whatever comes your way.

All you warriors out there... are you listening to me?

You gots to believe in YOU.

PS Kate, I am going to respond to your wonderful award, but I have to find a time when I don't have writing and/or painting on my agenda, and this has been an upside down weekend.

PPS This is actually after the fact, but I have decided to post this entry to Inspire Me Thursday. It's an open topic, and I think this is the one that I would like to share with the Inspire Me community, because so many people are on their own warrior type creative adventure.

14 comments:

Shelly Lowenkopf said...

Yeah, we're listening.

Squirrel said...

I'll be excited to see your new project though I hope magic cat will be somehow involved.

lulu said...

Listening here as well... I think you've expressed the feelings perfectly... sometimes it gets so hard to go forward that you have to close your eyes and jump!
I simply adore the painting in this post. It a wonderful inspirational image!!!!! hugs, Louisa

Leah said...

i love the simplicity of this one. and i'm excited to hear about the faith you are finding in yourself!!

jennlui said...

i agree, change isn't always easy, but i find after change comes new energy! i love that time where so much is possible, all we have to do is leap. can't wait to see what your new project is all about!!!

have a beautiful monday!

m. heart said...

this is lovely, and so true. it's faith in ourselves that can really propel us forward - sometimes even into flight, apparently!

one of my heroes is amelia earheart - a real life flying girl. she reminds me to break boundaries.

soulbrush said...

enjoyed reading this post.

D'Arcy said...

Yes, I am listening. I have loved having flying girl as a companion these past months, but I also know that life is change. The only thing really constant in life is change, and so, with a farewell to FG, when that time comes, there will be a hello to something new...just like the kids playing with their old toys again that they had forgotten.

You are amazing R!!!!!

tangled stitch said...

Change not a political slogan. My life is changing at the moment too with or without me. Love the painting. Good luck with your changes.

s.l.greek said...

creatively we must all move to the next level and flying girl has had her time. yes, i think you will see her on your path from time to time and it will be the meetings of 2 old friends. it's time for the next chapter. keep up the GREAT work.

laurel said...

Great message! Thanks for sharing a part of yourself like that.

melanie said...

oh, i am so glad you decided to share this with us... it is a wonderful message and your words are so thought-provoking.

Karen Mowrey said...

I am so far behind in my reading and I really enjoy to read your posts. You are amazing and I can not believe you pump all this out with the thoughts, the art, 2 kids, the Nanowrimo and now interior decorating amongst other things.

I am always listening warrior! I look back at the past year now and realize all the changes that happened while I wasn't even aware and life is good...after all I do Beelieve!
xo!

Deb G said...

I'm glad you decided to post this for IMT, and I'm glad I decided to go back and look at the rest of the open topics that I didn't have a chance to look at earlier. It's a great reminder....

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