The Diver, or Memory
11/11/08 AEDM #11
Golden Fluid Acrylic
This is The Diver. She plunges into the depth of our past, our dreams, our subconscious, our memories and recovers our lost loves. The things that we have lost, the things that have slipped through the cracks. The things that we tried to hold on to but were unable to as we traveled the road that is our lives.
She recovers these things so that we can remember what is the real treasure. It is not the things, it is the experience. Not the details, but the emotion. Not even necessarily this person or that person, but the relationship you created together, the connection forged.
When we recover these things, we can create a more meaningful life. This is where poetry is born, from the detritus of living. This is where traditions are created, from habits of the past. This is where meaning and identity is solidified. Share your old loves with the world and allow them to live again in their new form.
But beware of being too caught up in the past. If the Diver stays too long in the land of things lost, she herself will be lost. This is not a place for living. If we hold on too tightly to things past, instead of living in the reality of the present,then we can be drowned by them. Regrets, grudges, grievances must be released in order to breathe deeply and walk strong.
Also, do not become too fixated on the treasures of the past... your glory days, a relationship that does not serve anyone any longer, a way of looking at the world that is now outdated as the world has changed. If you continue to hold onto outmoded ideas, you are in danger of being drowned as the past rises like the sea.
This very idea is one of the ideas that has led me to creating these images. It is one of those things that would not stay buried as time past, and continued to resurface again and again. So when I felt Flying Girl becoming a stale and a little rote, I decided it was time to release it and follow the fluidity of change. It is interesting how the ideas of the past and the actions of the present combine to become something entirely new.
Perhaps also my fear of not being good enough, that past fear, that old way of doing things is no longer quite as apt. I do see this project as going into the future. Coming from the past, going into the future. I wonder what an image representing the future would look like? I must consider that. I have already begun to collect ideas for more Flying Oracles, without knowing which will really resonate and which will have to be thrown back into the soup for recycling into better ideas, later.
nanowrimo total: 27062
bad day of writing. only 953 words. I have met NOBODY'S minimum. But that's okay. I was ahead. Now, if only the kidlets would stay asleep long enough for me to write. Of course, that also means I have to not procrastinate, gambling on a long nap, like yesterday. I lost that bet.