Girl of Freaks: a novel of not werewolves (pending)

Girl Of Freaks: a novel of not werewolves by Rowena Murillo (cover mock up)
ink, acrylic and pencil on paper

This year, I am going to do my damnedest to get my novel published. It's ready, now it's just up to me to put it out there.

When I told Jen Lemen of this goal, she gave me an assignment to create a mock up of my novel cover.

Immediately, the impulse is for me to say, "no, that's not what I had planned for the day," but considering that I say "no" too often, and my word for the year is...

yes
sharpie, tape residue, and "vintage" foam core board.

..."YES" it was time for me to try the challenge. I took out my ink and my journal and searched for a likely photo reference (my first instinct was to use one of myself, but I really didn't want to paint myself for my book cover as the mc is not me) and got going.

This is what I did. Of course, when I get published, this will not by the cover. I'm not even sure it's the best cover for the book, but putting it out there, visualizing it, making it a real thing helps me to focus on my goals.

Thank you Jen for the good assignment and giving me a leaping off point for the rest of my year.

Swept Clean, and a new 100 in 100 Creative Challenge

Swept Clean
acrylic on paper, moleskine notebook
8.5"x 5, 1/100 in 100 days

Good morning and happy September.

I've been struggling with staying on track lately. I've been slacking in my creativity, getting lazy, not being productive when I know I have goals...one of those goals I had was to start a 100 in 100 days of creativity again.

I need to get back into the habit of painting every day. And on this happy new September Day, I've decided I'm just going to go to it and get started, even if I didn't prepare the way or start a movement on pinterest or whatever.

I need to do it for me. And that's what I'm going to do. Perhaps over the next week or so I will post something asking if other people want to join me. I already have the "rules" since I made them years ago when I first started playing this game.

I have been thinking about starting this 100 paintings in 100 days for a while, planning on September 1st as a start date, but I let town fairs and back to school and shopping and kids and cleaning and work all get in the way and just forgot.

Then this morning I remembered. "Oh! Today is September 1st! I wanted to start painting again!" And instead of saying, I can't, I didn't plan. I didn't make a log sheet. I didn't post about it on my blog, I just up and grabbed my paints and my journals and started painting.

And you know what happened?

It felt good.

I don't want to be stopped by what I haven't done right or am not ready for or the long list of to dos I have to take care of every single day of my life. I just want to paint.

And I want to stop saying no.

And I want to stop thinking about the negatives and how hard everything is and how nothing is ready or perfect or how it's all too scary to do everything.

No more "nos". Just "yes". Just "I'll try."

So I'm starting my 100 in 100 creative challenge.

I am going to paint 100 paintings in 100 days. I don't even know what day I will be done on, but I'm going to keep it up and I'm going to commit. Some days, it might be a tiny painting. Some days it might be a rough sketch. Somedays, I might hate it, but I'm going to do it.

Would you like to join me in a creative challenge wherein you create 100 things in 100 days?  Take a look over at the official rules, which are about bending the rules to fit your lifestyle and your creative needs, then leave a comment here, and I'll create a 100 in 100 sidebar of participants.   What the hell! I'll also create a 100 in 100 group board on pinterest and invite you to join so you can pin your challenge. Just leave your pinterest account in the comments.

Are you ready for a challenge? It's scary when you start out, but it's so satisfying. You can do it, you know.

Harry Potter Party!

 I have been working on this party for quite some time, from searching pinterest for great ideas to making favors to hunting thrift stores and making decorations and taking trips to the 99 cent store oh and all the crafts.

So this weekend it finally happened. And it didn't rain until after the party, woo hoo!

I still have some crafts to post, so I'm going to show you some of the things I've already posted or things where I don't have tutorials, or just fun things.

 I brought my fancy wooden table out to the deck and laid a baroque looking runner across it so I could set up my potions table scape. I set out the gold cups and napkins and I had a few candle stands and candy bowls that I set with crystal platters. I liked the height they gave and thought they would work really well when I brought out the candy for Honeydukes Sweetshop and the Cauldron Cakes.  But somehow, the sweets never made it onto the pretty table.

 I took some of my son's toy snakes and wrapped them in and out of the bottle, for just a little bit of added spookiness.

And how about that fantastic green glass bowl I found at the thrift store? I filled it with the Expecto Patronum and Dementor Stones activity.

 Here we have a photobooth set up that I made. I took out the navy sheet and pillowcase and bought some glow in the dark stars from the dollar store, but for a while, I thought I'd run out of time and not be able to put it up... but at the last minute, I tacked the sheet up to an unused corner of the deck and covered the ottoman with the pillow case, brought out the little railroad village rug and stuck those stars on the sheet.

For the amount of effort it took, this photobooth was really worth it.  If I'd had a little more time, I would have made a witch broom to go with it.

When the kids first got here, I had them choose their favorite owlet from amongst Pigwidgeon's Pals.

That is Ivy's christmas gift, Mrs Hoot Hoot inside the old birdcage, on top of the old suitcase, ready to travel to Hogwarts.

Then they got to pick their wand from the box sent from Ollivander's Workshop.

I made gift bags and wrote their names on the gift bags so that they would be able to keep track of their owls and wands and other assorted stuff. That was a good plan, because with all the running around that happened later, they really needed one place to put their favors. Here is a tutorial for the gift bags .

 While waiting for all the kids to arrive, they got right to work at Transfiguration Class, where they needed to turn a rock into a creature.

All I did for this activity was to go to the 99 Cent store and buy some decorative rocks (in gray and green glass) some paint, glue, feathers, markers, gems, pipe cleaners and of course, googly eyes.

Then I just put those all in a box and put it on a kids table covered with a silver table cloth.  They really loved it. Who knew?

 I also made some Hogwarts House Banners. I really like how they came out, so I'll try to do a tutorial later on, but I really just painted them free hand.

I kept staring at them during the party and going, "wow, I like those." Right now, they are living very happily up above G's bed.

Once a bunch of kids were all there, I brought out some balloons and told them that they had to keep them in the air with their wands and the spell, "Wingardium Leviosa" I didn't get any pictures of that because I was going another craft at that point.

ACID POPS! You can see how I made these and displayed them here. They were a big hit with the kids and with the adults. But the kids were still sweaty after the acid pops so I remembered that I had some Gillywater in the fridge.

What is Gillywater? Oh, no one knows, but it was in the books, and I found this site where they wanted an alternate Harry Potter drink and found an Invisible Koolaid that tastes like Koolaid but looks like water. I put it in a clear glass jar and filled their glasses with the magical stuff.

The kids really liked the Gillywater and it was so easy, I almost forgot about it until I realized how thirsty the kids were after running around.

I forgot about quite a few things during this party. I forgot to put out the chocolate covered flies/raisins. I forgot to make that broom so the kids could fly. I forgot to do the crystal ball reading with the meditation jars I made. I also forgot to hang up the floating candles, and I'm kind of bummed about that one, because I really wanted to see how they turned out.

Then they went back out to play again, off in the yard. It was a Wizard War, with their wands and another craft I made out of recycled coffee can lids that I painted with silver stars, lightning bolts and swirls of various types. They would fling them like frisbees at each other and then run around picking them up again, with cries of, "I'm loaded! Better watch out!"

These are the spell discs I made. No tutorial. It's just painted directly on the plastic with silver craft paint. Frisbees would work very well for this and could also serve as favors for the kids to take home, but I had a dozen coffee can lids that I'd been holding onto (I use them for paint palettes sometimes) and when the brainstorm came that is what happened. I'd been thinking they would be used in a Wizard Duel where two kids stood apart and tried to throw it at/to the other kid, but the kids turned them into a wizard war and then ran their little butts off and got all sweaty.

I really tried to alternate slow paced, sit down activities with running around, because it would keep the kids from getting bored or worn out. So after Wizard War, I got out the Butter Beer. No photos of that, because I was too busy serving and by the time I was finished, everyone was pretty much done.

The next activity was the Expecto Patronum spell with the Dementor Stones.  That was a lot of fun and very cool when they were opening them... I mean, working on their spell. You can see how that worked here.

Once we finished the Expecto Patronum, I asked the kids what they wanted to do next and if they were ready for the candy.

Silly me.

They practically herded me into the kitchen to get the candy. I wisely didn't have it sitting out for most of the party, not only because some things would melt in the heat, but also because they would have been snitching candy the entire time.

As it was, they all wanted to be "helpful" when it came to the candy, and offered to carry the candy back out to the deck. Aww so sweet. I gave them the sugar mice and the chocolate frogs to take out.

But by the time I brought the main tray out, they'd set everything up on the little coffee table I'd put out there, kid height, instead of the pretty potions display table where I had all the nice cake stands and such.

Oh well. There was no orderly civilized Honeydukes Sweetshop line. No, it was mass, sweet, chaos. A free for all.

THEY LOVED IT.

Then I brought out the cauldron cakes but that was kind of anticlimactic after the candy. I thought they were great, but the kids were mostly sugared out.

And then they spent about an hour pulling each other around in a wagon. That wasn't part of my party planning. Perhaps in their imaginations, it was the flying Ford Anglia that Ron wrecked.

Anyway it was a lot of fun and some things were definitely more worth the fuss than others.

The wands were worth it.

The owlets, sadly, not quite as fun. Unless they took them home and loved them quietly. So not quite worth it.

The Acid Pops were great... for adults and kids. Worth it.

The chocolate frogs? They were cool, but the kids didn't love them that much and the adults didn't bother much with the candy. I would have made fewer chocolate frogs. Not so worth it. Better for an adult party.

Sugar Mice? Also cool, but I will probably eat more out of my fridge than all of the kids combined. So I'm glad there are left overs, because those are mine. But perhaps not worth it for the level of time consumed in making them. Also better for an adult party.

Honeydukes Sweetshop/table of candy. TOTALLY worth it. Maybe better to just get candy from the store instead of making some of it, though. Most of the home made candy was more trouble than it was worth.

The Gillywater/Invisible Koolaid? Cheap, easy and fast. Beloved by kids. Worth it.

The Butterbeer? Tasty, but very sweet, done soon, with no refills. I bought too much ice cream and cream soda. Maybe not worth the stress. Adult party. Spiked with real booze.

The Expecto Patronum/Dementor Stones activity. Really cool and worth it, though it took a while to craft.

Cupcakes? Worth it, because you need cake and these were tasty and not that hard, although a little stressful. But it could have been any cake really... so not necessary. Also, i had trouble with the heat and the melting of chocolate. Again possibly more for an adult, indoor party.

Those flying disc spells? I painted them months ago and just stuck them in a cupboard and the kids played a lot with them, so Worth It. Same for the balloons which are always fun.

Gift bags, easy and worth it. Really I had been planning some sort of difficult craft for making cauldrons and the bags worked fine.

The Pet Rocks/Transfiguration. awesome and low maintenance and just the cost of the dollar store items. Worth It.

And as for the banners and the potion bottles? I really liked the way they looked and I think they added to the Harry Potter feel, so worth it. And G gets to keep the banners.

Also, the photo booth was pretty easy, so that was worth it too. I've got pictures from it.

It seems that I got wrapped up in "cool projects" that would have been better for older party goers but were kind of lost on little kids who like koolaid, running around and candy. Hmm. Well, live and learn there, Ro.

Boy, I also have a lot to post on this party. If you click the links, you will find my tutorials and recipes to many of the crafts and foods, and you can decide for yourself which ones might be worth your time and effort.

Ten Ways Pinterest Can Improve Your Creativity

 My Stuffed Doll, inspired by, researched on, and created with help from Pinterest. Because Pinterest is not just for wasting time.



I've read a lot about how people love Pinterest, but it's a total time suck and they never DO anything that they pin on their boards. Or conversely, how people just don't "get" Pinterest, that it just seems to be a kind of cluttery virtual hoarding by squee girls.

Not me. Yes, I probably spend more time than is good for me browsing Pinterest, but I also try an awful lot of things that I see on Pinterest. I also use Pinterest as a resource for when I have my own projects to tackle. So I thought that I'd discuss some of the ways that I have used Pinterest not only to inspire but to actually DO STUFF.

1. Pin stuff you like!
This might seem self evident, but often when I am not sure what I am doing, the very act of pinning stuff will help me figure out what I really love, what I dream of, what I'd like to be doing and where I want to go with  myself.  Often, while I'm pinning, I will begin to notice trends in my interests, like dark colors or stamping or stuffed dolls. Which brings me to the next thing...

2. Make your boards as specific as possible.
It is very easy to just think one Crafts Board or one For The Kids board will do, but if you want to actually do stuff from pinterest rather than just squee over great ideas, it helps to make those boards very specific. So rather than one Crafts Board, I have Crafts and Stuffed Creations, Craft and Crochet, Craft and Stitch (hand sewing), Craft and Be Ye Unafraid of the Machine that Sews (yeah, my machine intimidates me). And that's not even counting the DIY boards I have, where I put tutorials and upcycling and other stuff. The important thing is that I gear my boards to my activities and needs and desires. I like crafts and art, so the majority of my boards are related to this... but they don't have to be. You can have boards focused on holidays, music, travel, fashion, food, kids activities, reading. But the more specific each of those categories is, the easier it is to actually find what you need when you are ready to DO STUFF.

3. Create Action Boards.
These are not mere inspiration boards, but these are boards where you pin things that you are in the process of planning, creating and researching. These boards might be something like a To Do Board, where you pin stuff you want to remember to do. Or project boards, like Kids Birthday Party, or maybe Kitchen ReDo ... basically any involved project can have its own board. Actually, giving a project its own board means that it will stay on your mind, rather than falling into the cracks and getting ignored. Every time you're unwinding on the internet, if you see something that might fit into your project, you can pin it, and that will get you thinking about it. If you are always thinking about a project, you're much more likely to actually do it. Plus, there's such a wide range of ideas on pinterest, that your personal project can become ever more creative and interesting.

4. Create Photo Reference Boards.
This is particularly something that helps me if I am creating something with visual interest, whether it's decorating or painting a picture or sewing the doll above. I'm not the kind of person who just copies what someone else did, but I am unashamedly inspired by what other people have created. For instance, I had some trouble when I was making this doll, because I didn't know what I wanted her face to look like.

This is the face I came up with, but not before I looked at and sketched out a bunch of other faces like this and this and this. In the end, I came up with my own face, but looking at what other people had done gave me a sense of what was possible and what I liked. When I was making my stuffed owl, I used many references of real owls that I had collected on my do it photo reference board, so I could get away from the stuffed owls that were out there and make mine, if not more realistic, then at least more reminiscent of an actual Hedwig.

5. Use the Search Function.

I love the search function. In some ways, it has taken over for general search engines. I like that the images are visual and I can browse for my own visual interest. Sometimes I just search a term on Pinterest and then let chance lead me to inspiration. But it also works because it is a curated collection of things related to your terms. Someone has already chosen these images because they love them or found them useful. The search function was particularly useful to me when I was looking for ways to do this doll's hair. I felt like I'd never done the hair right, so when I searched on pinterest, I was looking for a tutorial for doing hair "right." I found this and knew that this was the  right way to do doll hair... but then I was also running out of time so I kept searching for something less.... intimidating. I didn't want to do something in felt, although it was cute, so I kept searching until I found this tutorial which is what I used and which came out fabulously.

6. Participate in the Community

People have answers. If you are stuck on something, ask a question on a relevant pin, and someone might have an answer. Or, solicit advice from your followers. Ask them if they know the right way to make a doll wig, or if a recipe works out the way it looks, or... well hey, I've been asking for all sorts of advice on my library board. I want to know if books are good or just hype, or if my kids will like them. The answer for this book seems to be yes. Something to be aware of here is the caption that you pin. Very frequently, I won't notice the caption when I pin and my followers will respond to a question I didn't have. So if you want advice or reviews or suggestions, pay attention to your comments and captions. Another community aspect that can encourage your creativity are the group boards. Create a board with friends working on a similar project, or find pinners you love and include them or just join in on the conversation where like minded people are sharing their ideas, like in this parenting board.

7. Keep Pen and Paper Nearby 

Pinterest is a great virtual pin board, but there comes a time when you have to take things into the real world.  To do so, it helps to have scrap paper or a notebook or journal with you while you browse pinterest. You might want to write down a recipe and bring it over to the kitchen. Or you might want to take the good book ideas and bring them with you to the IRL library or bookstore. Keep Lists. Note things down in your calendar. Take the impulse and paint something while you're sitting in front of your computer. If you have tools nearby to write something or draw something down, then it will encourage you to make one of those great ideas IRL.

8. Make a Did It Board

How fun! You tried a recipe from pinterest, or you followed a tutorial, or you crocheted a pattern, or you went to a place on a travel board! Great. Tell us what you did. Put that pin on a board of completed pins and share with us how it worked out. Keep it there as a reference so that you can go back to it again. I've gone back a bunch of times to do this, (it's great.)There is a feeling of accomplishment when you can mark something as done, and it is encouraging to see that other people are out there trying things, not just browsing.

9. Show and Tell

Similar to a Did It board where you pin things that you've attempted from pinterest, you can create a board to show how your own efforts turned out. Make a board of things that you have made, decorated, cooked. Upload your own photos, pin from your blog or flickr account. Honestly I'm still leery of pinning too much of my own stuff, I don't want to be a spammer, but the truth is that people want to be inspired, and when you show them what you have done, they can be inspired to do it themselves. I finally made my own blog board, after a year and a half of pinning. I'm not sure what took me so long, but it's also a nice place for me to see what I've done, how well various projects and blog posts are received, and to share my projects with a wider audience. There is actually a category for "My Life" when you make a board, so hey, why not show your life and what you have created.

10. Review Your Boards

And last but not least, remember that pinterest is not just for grabbing cool images that you see, it is for curating these images, collecting these ideas, saving things for later use. You pinned those images because there was something that grabbed you. Take time to go back over your own pins. See the comments that have been made. Remind yourself why you pinned that gorgeous room or yummy drink. When you first saw it, you thought, "I want to do that!" so periodically go through your pins to remind yourself of what you want to do. Don't forget to look at your specific boards, too. I have boards for various writing ideas. Sometimes, if I want to get back into a particular story, I might peruse this board. See now, you all thought that was just a board for weird stuff, but no, that is actually an inspiration board for my long neglected novel, characters, moods, settings, plot twists etc. So if I want my brain to go back to that project, I go there. Or if I want a new dinner idea, there's nothing like a food board. Shoot, I was browsing that board last night and decided on a whim to make this and it was delicious. Or if you want to do something for a holiday? Hey, this board is rocking for creativity at Christmas. We can pin good ideas all year long, but when it comes time in November to find a new wreath or project, all you have to do is browse your own collection, and you already have somewhere to start.

So THERE! That's it. Ten Ways Pinterest Can Improve Your Creativity. 

But before you run off and get your make on, leave a comment and tell me if there's anything I forgot. What ways does pinterest help YOU to be creative. How do you avoid the time suck issues? How does pinning help feed your productivity? 

Strangers in a Bar

This is my second post in my July photo challenge. And my second picture. The theme for this was "strangers."

It was a hot day. The air conditioning was nice. The cold beer was nice. Sometimes it's nice to just sit in a nearly empty bar by yourself and be a stranger. Yes, I think I was the stranger.

And in an attempt to not be a stranger to my blog readers, I am trying to get back to the habit of posting. Even if this is the July 4th weekend and everyone is out doing summery celebratory things and this isn't exactly an enlightening post.

The theme for today's picture will be "lunch". I might be able to manage this.

See you tomorrow and have a happy Independence Day. And if you don't celebrate Independence Day, have a happy Sunday.

25 Days of Creativity-- Ready to Go!

25 Days of Creativity

glitter, gesso, acrylic gel medium, pencil, paper bag, paint pen

This holiday season, I am making a real effort to focus on the home made, hand made, creative and non-materialistic things. I'm making gifts and cooking and decorating and hoping to help my kids see that it's not just about getting presents.

And to keep myself from getting overwhelmed by all of the crafting, baking, making, doing, painting, holidaying and ho ho ho-ing, I have decided to take on the challenge of doing one creative, crafty holiday task a day.

And since the online challenges have been such a help to me, I've decided to ask if anyone else wants to join in.

So here are the (loosely defined) rules.

I do solemnly swear that I am up to crafty goodness (or naughtiness).

Every day in the month of December, until the 25th, I will make something crafty/arty/creative/festive.

If I miss a day, I will not panic. I will just keep going, or maybe I'll do two things the next day, or maybe give myself a break. Or maybe I will count that eggnog I made for a party, or the cookies I baked for the kids, or decorating the Christmas tree, or wrapping those presents beautifully.

I will have fun, because this isn't a race or a competition.

I will not freak out with the pressures of the season, and that is why I am giving myself the whole month to get there, day by day.

I will do it bit by bit. And I will count the bits I am doing, even if they aren't perfect/complete/fancy.

I will put my love into my creative endeavors.

I will not put too much pressure on myself to make things perfect, because hand made is loved, and imperfection is lovely.

I will celebrate myself, my creativity, my loved ones and the season with all of the wonderful goodness that is upon us.

I will go with the flow, after making my lists, and see where this adventure takes me.

*** *** ***

So there are my rules if you want to play along.

The only other rules I can think of are to put your name and your blog address in my comments, if you want me to put you in the sidebar, so we can cheer each other along in our creative holiday month. Or if you don't want to commit to a sidebar, you can just put a link to your creative projects in the comments.

I was also thinking about making a pinterest board with my 25 days of creativity project-- in fact I've just done it. Now I will be able to add all the creative projects, with links back to their blog or flickr account. I think it would be a fun place to collect all the projects in one place.

Well. I'm ready for the holidays... are you?

p.s. I finished my nanowrimo 50k words yesterday. woo hoo! Not done with the novel, but I am done with the November challenge. Thank you November. You kicked my butt. See you next year.

Altering a Bleeping Big Thrifted Man's Sweater

Neckline: Foggy Day Sweater

AEDM day 10

thrifted sweater. thread. scissors. snip snip.

I have decided that what I have is not a cold, because I don't have the whole stuffed nose cough tissue dropping thing going on. What I have is a mild versions of my daughter's nasty flu. That is why I have not been able to think. So okay. Let it go. I will fall behind on my nanowrimo. I have time to make up my numbers later.

But last night, after while watching America's Next Top Model, I finally took out my old sweater.
Here it is, pre chopping.

It's a big baggy sweater that is fairly soft of a nice heathered greeny gray. Like a foggy day. It's a little tight in the neckline for me. I want it for throwing on after a day of work, over my tshirt, to lounge about in. But I'd like it to be more stylish than just a big old baggy man's sweater.

So the first step was to cut out the neckline. I was inspired by this sweater, that I have been staring at for months, it seems. I am afraid of cutting the arms. That seems a much bigger step to take. But I think I really need to do it. I think this sweater needs it's arms chopped off. However, I like feel the cozy sweater around my wrists. I think I am going to have to take the jump and just do it. (Whenever I make something, there is often a stage where I don't want to take the big step, to try something new, to possibly ruin it... and I just have to go for it.)

The neckline has improved it already, so why the heck not? Plus, there's something awkward about the big shoulders on this sweater, they don't lay flat, so I'm thinking a wise chopping and stitching might improve the whole thing. Who knows. Maybe I'll ruin it. But I'm still counting it as my aedm item.

Oh, I also just wanted to say that I finally got my invite for pinterest and I am now officially obsessed. I may have to let go of my small and heartfelt blog for the pinterest boards, since I use s&h as a pin board of things I like, but it takes me about 20 times longer to do a s&h post as it does to click the little "pin it" button on my bookmark bar. Sorry if you liked the blog, but I just don't have the time to maintain it the way I would like. Come on over to pinterest. If you need an invite, email me and I think I can send you one.

10/10/10-- A Photo Essay Project of Your Day

I Am Here Somewhere

fading self portrait

casio exilim

10/8/10

I haven't done any crafty artsy projects lately. Or at least, I haven't finished them or taken their photos so that I could post them. I feel a little unfinished without my art projects, like I am forgetting something.

Oh well. I've been living my life. Waking up too early, getting everyone fed and dressed, taking the boy to school, going off to work, (whether that is to the paying job or to the one that I volunteer to tackle for free in the basement, in two hour increments), come back home, pick up the boy at the bus stop, get everyone snacks, take care of the school work and/or the emotional needs, make dinner, get everyone cleaned up, pajama'd and off to bed, then kind of collapsing on the couch to do nothing, and going to bed far earlier than I was used to before I became the mom of a school aged kid .

But in the meantime, I'm still here. Still thinking about projects. Planning. Blogging. Etsying. Parenting. Cooking, and so on.

I'm going to have faith that it will all work out in the end. More or less. In some fashion.
I Am Here Somewhere

landscape of trees

casio exilim

10/8/10

I am also remembering to take pictures, sometimes.

I've decided that on 10/10/10, I am going to take pictures all day long. A document, of sort, of my own life. Somewhere out in the blogosphere, there is a plan to film the day, all over the world, different filmmakers from everywhere. I don't remember where I saw it. I can't find it in my google reader and I can't find it in google. Oh well. I like the intention for myself. (If you know what I'm talking about, can you leave me a note so I can link back to the project?)

Because, frankly, life is not an endpoint, but a process. It is happening right here right now. Why wait until I get the projects done, the novel done, the job done, the bedtime done, the dinner done, the editing done, the perfection done?

The perfection? Ah yes. No such thing. We know that already.

Waiting to get it all finished and perfect, we forget the living.

So on 10-10-10 I am going to do a photo essay on the living of my life. (I have to work, so I'm not sure how I am going to manage taking photos, because I'm pretty sure we're not allowed, although I could always ask.)

I invite you, although it is late notice, to bring your camera with you on 10/10/10 and document your life as you are living it. The people, the places, the things, the actions, the results, the color, the darkness, the motion, the stillness, the day.

As an exercise in mindfulness and creativity, seeing and living.

If you want to join in, just leave a comment. Or come back on 10/11/10 and leave a link to your own photo essay.

No rules on this one. Just the fun of photographing your day.

I Am Here In This Challenge

I Am Here, or Light in the Darkness

mixed media, acrylic, pitt artist pen on repurposed paint chip

41/100 in 100 days creative challenge

I've been looking at all these paint chips I'm collecting, wondering what I can do with them.

Then one day, I though, hey, maybe they would be interesting to paint.

So that's what I did.

On this dark paint chip, I thought about how, even when it is dark in life, even when things are hard, we carry the potential for joy and opportunity within us. I think this is called hope, and I think this is how we make it through to the other side.
Flower and Fern

42/100 in 100 days creative challenge

acrylic, pitt artist pen, pencil, on repurposed paint chip

This one however, did not work out all that well. I think it came from lack of direction. I didn't have a clear direction in my head when I started. Or perhaps I did, but I didn't commit to it, I just kind went with what happened next.

Sometimes, that approach turns out pretty well, that "winging it". You can end up with some lovely pieces. Sometimes it does not. And you end up with a mish mosh, confused piece, like the last one.

BUT.

That doesn't matter. Because part of this intuitive approach to art is about taking that step, even if you don't know where it is going, because you are in the process of finding where you are going.

Every step/piece of art/creative expression/idea may not be genius, but it is the journey that leads you to the meaning and product that you are looking for.

The important thing is that you commit to the journey and keep going.

To make myself commit a bit more (because I know I am not committing to the degree that I could, and it is showing in my work) I am joining in with Rosa Murillo (no relation) and Robayre in their August daily challenge. That means I'm going to have to post what I am doing every day, not just once in a while. Sometimes I need a little bit of accountability so I don't slack. I guess that means I should least these also according to day. I think I'm going to have to create some sort of chart or index of my work these last few weeks. I'm getting confused.

The Painted Lady, or You Have Something To Give

The Painted Lady, or You Have Something To Give

Acrylic paint and watercolor pencils on paper

8 1/2" x 8 1/2"

This is a painting that I did a while ago. I forgot to post it. Ooops. I posted a sneak peek once and then I think I got caught up in the drama of packing and moving and just forgot. It was posted over here at Magpie Girl, and then I just plum forgot.

So here she is.

She seems so gentle to me, although usually, a tatooed girl would be seen as tough or strange or counterculture.

But maybe not posting her was okay. I've finally gotten prints of her up in my shop, along with some older work, and some even newer, never seen before, work that you have to go over there to see. Oh, how sneaky of me.

Not only that, but the extra day gives me time to get my butterfly tutorial together. Stay tuned.

Every Exit Is...

Every Exit Is
taken on my trusty, go everywhere Casio Exilim.

I hope your weekend is going well. I myself am not having a holiday, but I find I don't mind, because rather than the once a year Memorial Day weekend of barbecues and fireworks, parades and lake houses, I've got a once in a lifetime (or perhaps a very great while) chance to start all over again.

We're moving today.

We have a lease on a new house, and today is the day.

We've been busy running around Michigan, exploring Ann Arbor, Chelsea and all the various thrift stores and yard sales in the environs. Packing up. Buying essentials. Organizing. Planning.

Yesterday we had Ice Cream and I would have had pictures of that, but I forgot to check my camera batteries. Ooops. Forgot to plan that.

Anyway, I don't have a lot of painting or sculpture or craft projects to show you because, well, I'm too busy. So most of my creativity is going into photography and imagining what I could do with those circus striped Ralph Lauren sheets from Value World. (In case you were wondering, curtains for the kids' bedroom!)

I also don't know when I will be getting full time access to the internet. We have an appointment for Friday, but who knows? Until then, I suppose I can visit the library down the street, or the various cafes with internet access. But I wanted to say I might be missing for a while. Do not fear if you can't find me... I will be setting up the new place.

As for the photo above...

"Every exit is an entrance somewhere."
-Tom Stoppard

I might have misquoted him, but the sentiment is correct. We're leaving our old set up, which has been pretty good for us, and moving on into the unknown... but perhaps a future that is closer to one of our own making.

I am certainly excited about the various plans I have, both for the new house, and for my creative empire (insert evil laugh). Now all I have to do is get internet in my house.



Diner, Surreptitious Shot

And this is where the exit of the first picture enters. A don't-fuck-with-me diner in Ann Arbor. Sorry I can't remember the name of it. But the bathroom was grungy, the waitress was surly, the sausage was greasy, but the omelet was a Greek delight, the checkerboard tile was endlessly fascinating, the silver exterior was swooningly delicious, and the Spring air made it all worth it as we sat at the sidewalk table and had brunch-- before diving into the Salvation Army down the street.

Now, I really should go pack up all my clothes because I've left it to the last minute.

Oh, but I can't go yet.

I do have a painting to show you!. I showed a sneak peek a while ago. For the finale, go to Magpie Girl and see my fabulous new circus girl!

See you around.

Lovely and Lumply, Wild Violets and Allergies

Here is the "Fairy Patch," or so my kids named the wild violets in the backyard. I am enamored of these tiny wild flowers. The bright color, the intricate petals. They seems like something fairy like to me, too.

Something like this, it seems it should be all wonderful... and it is... except I'm finding some strange things happen when you hit new places in life. When transitions happen and you are about to take on new challenges, or when you just have.

Well, the world gets all confusing. You are lost in your path because the familiar landmarks have gone astray.

Except you aren't lost.

You are right where you need to be, with the fairy violets and all.

It's just a momentary feeling of being in over your head or jumbled up about what happens next.

This is life. And it's all mixed up with progress and setbacks, understanding and confusion.

And it's good.
Like for instance these beautiful flowering trees lining mainstreet. I enjoyed them so much as I walked to the library and had a relaxing couple of hours. Until I realized that they are probably the thing that triggered an awful allergy attack that made me miserable all night.

Well, that's what I'm saying. Lovely and lumply, all jumbled up together. Would it have been better to not have the nice walk and library session, or to avoid the allergies?

I'm thinking the allergies might have been an okay price to pay for what I gained.

Perfection is over rated anyway. Real life has allergies. Real magic always has a cost. But that doesn't mean you should avoid the fairy patch.

Oh, and I am so excited. I just won a spot in the summer session of Susannah Conway's Unravelling e-course. I am really looking forward to the adventure. Thanks to Boho Girl for hosting the giveaway.

Jane Was Here

Jane Was Here
acrylic on paper, 8.5" x 5.5"

This is a painting that I did as a memorial for a preemie baby back in February.

Why do I post it now?

I think because in a way, it relates to yesterday's post, about how what you do does indeed matter.

Jane was a lovely little girl and was loved dearly by her family, and through her mother's blog, Jane reached out and touched many, all over the world. They are still receiving cards and messages telling them that their little girl did indeed affect many. She was here.

Jane isn't here anymore, and although her life was so short, she mattered. Her existence mattered. Her very breath mattered. She was here.

We all matter. What we do affects others and changes them in ways both big and small. The struggles we take on to reach our dreams or to make the world a better place or to raise good people or create something to leave behind, or even to just simply survive... these matter.

Even if it seems there are too many endings, and too many setbacks, and too many good byes and too many heartbreaking disappointments...

It all still matters.

So there.

I have more words on the subject of how we matter, it turns out.

And if you'd like to follow Our Girl Jane and here about how she was indeed here, and perhaps even send her mom a postcard declaring Jane's existence in your life, I'm sure she would be grateful.

Early Spring in Chelsea, Michigan

We went brunching this weekend. This is the place we went to eat. It's a rustic kind of tavern with a daily special and not much else. If you look at my kids who seem to be superheroes in this shot, the tavern has a moose head on the wall.

Whatever this place is, it's real. Nothing much studied or designed about it. But I liked it.

Who knows how long this battered table has had patrons sitting down for a beer, a plate of beef and a game of cards? I like the checkerboard linoleum, too.
And on our walk on this cold sunny day, I spotted this sign. I don't do a lot of picture taking of architectural details or signage or vintage design, but this old Pontiac sign struck my fancy. Particularly against the bright sky.
And here, the bright pot of begonias in the window of the gift shop. My kids made me stop and take a picture of this one.
This door opened up about 5 feet above the ground. No stairs. Actually, I don't think the door did open. There's a shelf behind it, holding what looks like salt.
And this is the first time I've managed to take a satisfactory picture of this. The bright sun helped I think. It is the white towers... or is it silos... of the Jiffy mix factory. Jiffy, the cornbread people. A railroad pulls right up to these things. You can hear the whistles blow at all times. I like the sound of the train blowing. It seems like something from another era.

this is another thing I did this weekend. I sewed up a tiny potted plant out of felt and thread. I'm not doing any gardening this Spring, at least, not right now, but I made this seedling. I'm still thinking I might try painting this pot a bit, so I can make it look all beaten up, with some lichen or some of that white powder terracotta pots get sometimes after being used for a while. I almost went with a brown pot, but it really is true that those suckers are orange. So I just went for it. Brighter rather than duller was the mood.

Well, it is Spring.

It's time for things to brighten up a bit, don't you think?

Yearning For Spring... Like for real, with green stuff, not just on the calendar

Today on Design*Sponge, amy m writes about plant propagation, and about being an apartment dweller who gets her garden jones in with her window sill plants.

When I was growing up in Morningside Heights in New York City, my mother was a transplanted farm girl who got her greenery with whatever would grow in little plants in her sunny bedroom windows.

We weren't rich, so these were all propagated from cuttings, or seeds (each of us kids had our own avocado tree grown from dinner's leftovers). They were planted in coffee cans and milk jugs. The curtains that covered these sunny windows were nothing but white cotton sheets hung on rods... but you know what? There is something about the sun shining through the translucent cotton, with shadows of green leaves behind it that still makes me feel at ease and alive.

Right now, I'm living life in a rather gypsy like manner, so I haven't got any house plants really. I like to keep my houseplants for a long time. Let them grow, get to know them, so I haven't risked getting any started. I miss houseplants. I miss green things in general. I even named my daughter Ivy, interestingly. I will probably start collecting ivy plants soon. I had one, a welcoming gift from my college for years. I wonder what happened to that plant? Did I kill it or give it to a friend?

I've been watching the tree outside of my living room window bud red leaves. I'm just waiting for the chlorophyll to kick in.

Gosh I wish Spring would go ahead and sprung already.
Well, until then, perhaps I can make some plants out of fabric, felt and embroidery. (Gosh aren't those cute embroidery scissors?) Here is Geninne, and one of her beautiful birds. Interestingly, just yesterday, my daughter said that her Barbie doll (I know. Barbies. What kind of feminist am I?) needed a book and that I should make one for her. Here I am, working with felt and embroidery. I don't know why I didn't think of making a little book out of that? I wanted also to give a shout out to Geninne for pointing me to a tutorial on doing the chain stitch... because my grandma taught me how when I was seven, but I'd forgotten, and had been trying to fake it... er... recreate it from my head. Thanks Geninne.

8 Things To Get My Creative Mojo Going

What is this?

No idea. A piece of glass? A tiny quartz? Some half melted rock salt? But it's heart shaped, and it's clear and transparent.

I don't have a lot of stuff to show, or maybe I do, but I don't have photos of it because I have been so unmotivated to be creative or to post or really to do much of anything but take care of the kids and feed people and read and watch some tv.

But, I say, BUT I know what makes me feel better as a person, and despite the dumps in which I find myself, I need to be creative.

And when it comes down to it, I don't think that feeling sorry for oneself ever really makes anything better.

So, strolling around the internet, I stumbled upon Magpie Girl's post about resistance and mantras, and I thought maybe I should start my own 8 things list of getting through the resistance. Because moping about not being creative never helps. So here it goes.

8 Things to Get My Creative Mojo Going

1. Write in a journal. Sometimes it's nice to write about what's bothering you, but that often doesn't get the juices going. Sometimes that just makes you focus on what is keeping you from writing. Better is to write about moving forward. Or write about plans. Or write about where you are right that minute. Write about positive things or things that get you inspired. Keep it positive, get the energy flowing.

2. Get the hands moving and turn off the mind. Sometimes we think too much. We can think ourselves right out of doing. So sometimes I just like to get the hands moving, and not worry so much about what it is I am doing, forget the outcome, forget the perfection, just do. I might be the only person who does this, but I've found my most productive painting time can be after the kids go to bed while I watch primetime tv. Not sure why, but I think it has to do with occupying that "think too much" part of my brain while allowing the creative part to arise. This doesn't work as well with writing. I think because both have to do with words.

3. Make lists of things to do, things youd like to do, things you have to do, things you've been thinking about doing, things you dream of doing, things that help you get to doing. Like this list. This is helping.

4. Start small. A little sketch. Some frosted cookies. A haiku. A ribbon hair clip. A collage in a journal, postcard sized watercolors, a paragraph. Whatever it is, lower the stakes and make it small. There's less at stake this way, less to mess up, more opportunity to explore and take chances without fear of imperfection. Maybe a doodle seems unimportant, which might make it easier to tackle when you're facing resistance, but maybe that doodle leads to the break through you really need.

5. Get out and do it somewhere else. Take the laptop to a cafe to write. Or try writing poetry on a train/bus/airplane. Take the paintset to the garden. Or knitting to bed. Sometimes a change in venue gets the blockages released.

6. Set a timer. This can work in two ways. One, you can set a timer and commit to being creative for until the bell goes off. I find 15 minutes is a good amount of time. It's not too big a commitment to keep you from sitting down, but it's not so short a time that you can't really get into doing the work. And once you're into the work, the resistance has been beaten. And two, you can set the alarm for doing something that has been keeping you from your work, chores and the like. If you can't work because your study is a wreck, clean for 15 minutes before you start work. If you have that phone call you've been dreading weighing on your conscience, take that 15 minutes to take care of it. Use the timer to clear the deck for your work. Maybe it's the other stuff that's been cluttering your creativity.

7. Get together with a friend to talk about your work. Or to work together. Or to work separately, but together. Or to act as a sounding board or critical partner or maybe just someone to be accountable. Sometimes being creative is a lonely job, but sometimes it helps to have someone along. Find a community, take a class, join a challenge. Other people help to get the funk released.

8. Just do it. There is no equivocating. Just get started. Start the painting. Start the revision. Stop thinking about doing and just do. I've always hated that Nike could co opt such a good motivational tool, but those advertisers do know what they're doing. Just do it. Just do it. Just do it. It doesn't have to be great, it just has to be done. Maybe next time it will be better. Maybe. But one thing I know for sure, you can't break through that resistance if you don't just sit down and do it.

Blog It Forward: What Inspires Me

Oh, the irony.

Here I am, snowed in, still recovering from some series of flus and colds, in a writing and painting rut, trying to plan my daughter's 3rd birthday party and not having much inspiration with any of it, and the commitment comes calling to share "What Inspires Me" with the world.

Don't get me wrong, it's and awesome blog mashup, started by an awesome blogger, thank you, Victoria of SFgirlbybay, but the timing is flat out inconvenient. DAMN YOU LIFE!!! ahem. just kidding. sort of.

The whole thing is over here. All 300 bloggers who are participating, big cheeses as well as blog newbies, and everything in between. Well, I'm not newbie, but I'm no big cheese in the blog world, either, so I'm in between. In my group, group 9, I am following Walk Facing Traffic on March 2nd, and leading into Was Eigenes on March 3rd. Check them out.

So. What does inspire me?

Easiest answer? My kids. It may be corny, but it's true.
(Gabriel who never stops moving, unless it is to watch cartoons or read about animals, dinosaurs, aliens or monster trucks. He wants to be a scientist. Or maybe an artist. He likes to tell stories and pretend to be superheroes.)(Ivy and her love of everything pink, fairy like, princess like, or glittery, to the reluctant acceptance of her black and gray clad feminist mom. Eh, she likes what she likes. And she wants a Barbie for her birthday. I got it for her, because she's not me, and that's okay.)

They are creatively inspiring. From their demands for paintings of aliens or ant pins, to their requests for stories-- last night it was a baby pirate story, or wanting me to play guitar (badly) for them at bedtime, or wanting to make cakes and frost them with pink sparkles. Wanting to do things for my kids makes me expand my creativity. Seeing them in the world makes me think of new things. Knowing who they are and wanting them to have more out of life spurs me on to keep going, keep trying for my own dreams, because I want them to keep trying for theirs.

Aside from my kids, I find inspiration in nature, trees, animals, the sky, the ocean, science, plants. I find inspiration in old stories, kids books, mythology, fairy tales and fables. I find inspiration in my own history, my past, people I've known, people I miss. I find inspiration in movies, tv shows, music, poems. I find inspiration in other artists, both famous and not so famous. Etsy is a huge inspiration. I want to be like so many artists on Etsy. My heroes. And the many bloggers out there. Too many to list. I'm also inspired by color. I'm inspired by chance. The random choice of word or concept, smashing it up together with some other color, concept or word.

And when I am in a state like I have been lately, when I am creatively inactive (I do not support the term "creative block" or "writer's block" or any of that. It's a negative way to look at a period that is often necessary to the creative process,) I'm still inspired, even if I don't do anything with my inspiration.

Actually, I think my creative inaction is part of what inspires me. Whenever I have been in a stage of inability to create, it has always been a step towards a new era in creativity. Remarkable, really, when you think about how hard it is to be stuck like that, how painful it is to be unwillingly silent. But almost every time, the silence has led me back to my voice and my creativity.

So I'd like to give a big shout out to nothingness as my inspiration.

Even without big traumatic creative hurdles, even a quite nothingness, and emptiness of mind and space. The kind you get while staring out the window at a cafe perhaps....


Or maybe the kind when you are sitting in a car or train or bus, watching the field roll by in silence, waving dry grass in a cold breeze....
So here's to the downstroke, the indrawn breath, the negative space.

Here's to the inspiration of nothing.