Monday, March 31, 2008

WOO HOO! 1000 Words today!

So hard to get started, but once started, I know I can write.

The key was to commit to those 15 minutes and just stop dithering.

I didn’t know what to write, I kept saying. I didn’t just want to babble, I wanted to write my book. However, I kept avoiding sitting down to write.

Two days, I wrote nothing. Last night before bed, I opened up my journal, since the computer was still too intimidating, and I wrote a (bad) poem. This morning I took out my journal while the kids were playing with papa, and wrote a few paragraphs. Then, when everyone took a nap, I got a brainstorm.

Bring my laptop down from the bedroom and set it on the dining table in the living room, out of the way, since no one eats there, and start writing… disconnected from the internet, which I think is key. Less opportunity to avoid. I brought down my first drafts of the first and second book. Then I still didn’t know what to do.

Luckily my uncle butted in. “Why aren’t you writing yet?”

“I don’t know where to start. Do I finish the first draft of the second book or finish the second draft of the first book?”

“Do it organically,” he said. “Just open up the program and do what feels right.”

So I did, and I did, and I ended up going back to the second draft work that I did on the first book. I wrote 1,091 words in an hour, with a break to go get a meatloaf sandwich for the lunch I had skipped.

It feels good. I wrote again. I started writing again, that is the hardest part. Once you open up the world, once you start the habit, it is easier the next time. It gets easier to get over those blocks each time you do it.

Easier and easier to take those little steps, and little steps lead to long journeys. Change your life in 15 minutes a day? Lets see if it works.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Fifteen Minutes a Day to Living a Writer's Life. Wish Me Luck.

I’m back on wanting to live a writer’s life. I’m back on wanting to have a writing practice, writing everyday, even though I don’t know how much writing I am going to get done today or tomorrow or any other “everyday.”

Right now, I am reading a book called Pen on Fire by Barbara DeMarco Barrett. The busy woman’s guide to igniting the writer within, it says.

I’ve only just read the beginning, but she says that writing in 15 minute increments is the key. Everyone has 15 minutes hidden in their day. I know I do. I believe her theory, even though I haven’t read much more than bits and pieces of her book here and there. I wrote my last couple of first drafts with only fifteen minutes to spare throughout the day.

As DeMarco-Barrett says, “When [people] give even small chunks of time to writing, incredible things begin to happen. Resistance to writing evaporates, and is replaced with a feeling of fun and discovery. Ideas and creativity pour out. You even begin to appreciate your writing voice and your own unique style.”

She also says “Tend to your writing daily, and soon finding the time to write will become second nature; when this happens you’ll know you are living a writer’s life.”

This is a project I want to take on. I think I can manage this fifteen minute thing, it’s not too overwhelming to stop me… although, when I first started thinking about taking this on with my novels, rather than just random writing or poems or what have you, I slammed up against a wall, thinking, oy, there are no ideas in my head! I can’t start writing in my novel now, I don’t have any inspiration! And then, there the lady went, saying how even a few words here and there keep your project alive in your head, and keeps it fresh. There’s a quote from Janet Fitch, author of White Oleander “You have to keep your writing on life support, and give it oxygen.”

Yeah. These stories of mine are in vital need of some life support. It’s time for me to get back to work.

Fifteen minutes at a time.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Forget About the Road Not Taken, I've Got This One Right Here, and It'll Do Just Fine

Whenever I am feeling stressed out about "where is my life going???" I remind myself that I am on an adventure. Life has taken some really unexpected detours. I have made some choices that have led me to some surprising places-- me? living in Florida? Nooooononono. Not I. But here I am and here is where I landed and these are the results of the choices I have made.

I feel like I am on the right path, but I cannot see the end of the journey. I can only go on faith that I am heading where I need to go. I also can't hold on to the idea that life should look any one way or another. I don't believe in holding onto regret, either, only in getting the most out of the choices that I have made.

So here I am, and I'm going to choose the life that is the result of the choices I have already made. I'm gonna work on the things that I can. Like my writing, and my blog, and my art, and creating the life that I want to live right now, not in some distant perfect looking future or some misty sentimental past.

Aww, heck. I think I'm gonna focus on this road right here, before I start worrying about the twists and turns and detours coming up in the future.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Ground and Center

When life throws you a whole mess of road blocks, how to get back to what you know is the right path?

I am totally discombobulated right now. New home, stuff in boxes or storage. No routine to speak of, which is really bothering me. People all around… I’m not even used to having S around this much, and now on top of him, there’s my uncle and other family members visiting.

I have my projects floating around in the ether of my head, and in the suitcases in my room.

It would be really easy to take it easy and just let the projects slide, and just let the everyday living take over, but these bumps in the road of my path are just that, bumps. I don’t want to sit down and park my butt because it’s a little rough. This is the right path.

Despite the disorganization that is my life right now, I need to take some time out for myself and allow myself to be present, not only to the here and now, but also to my higher self; the self that, not coincidentally, knows exactly what needs to be done. Reconnecting with my self will allow me to move forward, instead of stalling out.

Maybe I am not quite ready to take up my novel again. Or paint pictures to sell. Maybe there are some steps that need to happen first before I can get my footing back. Ground and center. Find that balance so that the journey can keep on going.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

A Great Big, Scary, Unknown Adventure

Ivy is too young to really understand or care what is going on, but moving is hard on G. He sees his toys slowly disappearing and boxes slowly appearing, but it is a mystery to him. I don’t think he understands that we are leaving this house, the only house he’s ever known, for good. That’s okay. I’ve been emphasizing the “seeing Grandma” part.

He’s starting to act up a bit. Yelling and throwing things and tackling his baby sister. He isn’t sleeping well at all, taking hours at night to fall asleep. Last night I sat with him and told him exactly what was going to happen, with the packing up of toys and other things, and then the boxes going to be stored or shipped so we can have them later. I told him about how we were going to take our bags and go to the airport where we could see the planes up close, and then we would get on the airplane and fly above the clouds and when the plane landed we would see Grandma and he could sleep in the new toddler bed that she got for him with the Scooby dog that was waiting.

I think that made him feel better and he was able to fall asleep. Of course, this morning he opened up a box to find many of his beloved toys that are being shipped. He tried to pull them all out and when I put them back, oh, the yelling. Later, I had him go sit with papa and tell him all the things that were bothering him. Chief among them was, of course, “boxes.”

Well. It’s scary, it is. Scary to me and S, and we know what is going on. Of course, it might be scarier to us because we do know exactly what is going on and we have 37 and 43 years of old habits and ties to break. For G, I think if we focus on the Big Adventure aspect, it will be much easier. Because, you know, we’re going to get to go to the beach in a couple of days, where there will be lots of splashing and digging and running and exploring.

The adventures to come, for all of us, are unlimited.

Monday, March 03, 2008

Now that I have been on a paring down kick

I’m really feeling less and less attached to all the stuff.

And not just having or collecting stuff. I’m not interested in buying. I’m not interested in having or knowing about or searching out the “best” of anything—other than the best ME. I like beauty, I like character, I still enjoy fashion and style and decorating, but I’m finding that I am not in a phase of putting a whole lot of energy into making them happen.

I’m tired of being tossed about by all the things I “should” do or “should” have or “should” be. I don’t really want to be a consumer, anymore, other than of food and art and maybe ideas… I have to think about what it means to “consume” ideas. Well, I do need some new jeans and some underwear, but after that, I’d like to go back to my consignment/thriftstore/yardsale ways, but ONLY for what I need and really want, not for the howcoolwhynot? stuff.

I was looking about online today and started finding all sorts of sites about organizing, simplifying, downsizing, zenifying etc. I sped around from link to link adding favorites, so that I can come back and look into them some more.

That’s the part where I have to see what it means to me to consume ideas. I think I want to focus on the things that are important to me, to think for myself about them, but to also search out others’ techniques and ideas on those things I care about. I DO NOT want to be led astray by all the wonderful things there are out in the world. Organizing and meal plans and simplifying are good. Writing and painting and childrearing, all good, but I don’t want to start waltzing with cool ideas that are not already on my dance card. No, I am not going to start making stuffed animals, or knitting. No, I am not going yard saling for cool furniture items that I can then refurbish. No, I am not going to be sucked into the vortex that is entertainment news!! A big no to that one. No, I am not going to sit infront of the tv all day just letting it play and distract me, even though there’s nothing on I particularly want to watch it.

Focus on the heart of what I want in my life, physically and mentally and emotionally and creatively. Trim away the distractions and the side-tracks and the fringes and the frou frou embellishments.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...