pencil, water color
I don't know what I'm doing.
But I suppose the important thing is that I keep doing.
I've been wanting to get back into my journal for a while. I want to write. I want to draw and paint. But it has been a long time coming,
I've been collecting images of journals here. I've been scribbling and doodling bits in my journal but I haven't felt like I have been getting anywhere, creatively. Or have I?
I've been thinking about what I like in art. I've been wondering what is meaningful to me, and what appeals to me aesthetically. I've been thinking about the way I go about doing art. For so long I have painted quickly and immediately, with little to no planning. I have been telling a story with my art.
Sometimes I feel sad that I don't have the time, energy, space or money to dedicate to art and being an artist the way I'd like to.
But this is my life, and this is my path, so I can't really give my energy to what my life isn't, but rather want to think about what my life IS.
As I began drawing this journal piece, I started with the repeated circles. I like repetition. I like the meditative state of hatch marks or little circles. It reminds me of when I was working on Wreck This Journal. And I wanted to work on the shape of a person. A kind template for a person the way my Flying Girls were a template that allowed me freedom within the constraints to express myself. But I wanted something that I could take to a deeper, less literal place.
I'm not sure I can do that. I'm a pretty literal person. Well, that's not true. I'm a pretty narrative person. I can't help but make stories, whether I am painting a picture or writing. I can't help connecting things and giving them a meaning, a journey.
And somehow, after I drew this piece, I began thinking about what it meant. I compared it to my flying girls, and thought about my own journey, and thought maybe this is what I need now. Before it was all about dreaming and taking flight and going after the dream. I think now I may need to settle down, build something, ground myself. Perhaps these are grounded girls, the way my others are flying girls. Or perhaps not. We'll see how it turns out.
Oh, and yes. Once I started this drawing, I found that I had the urge to explore what was happening here. There have already been two more drawings/paintings in this vein. I guess we will have to stay tuned to see where these days and tomorrows lead.