Thursday, July 26, 2007

Yesterday I called an old friend

who I hadn’t seen in two and a half years. There was no answer, but today, she called me back. Woohoo!

The sad fact is, I don’t have a life outside of my children. Since I got pregnant with my second, I barely even have a community of other mothers, since I got all hermity and antisocial. Some people might just have “nested,” but I, with my natural tendencies, crawled into my little hidey hole and turned out the lights.

Now, almost 5 months post partum, if I am actually calling people, then something has changed.

I was so glad that we reconnected. In those two and a half years, I’ve had my two kids and she left for Oakland, but thankfully came back. She was in school for massage therapy. I think that’s great. We were waitresses together many years ago, and worked in many different restaurants together, then I started teaching and our different schedules got in the way and we kind of fell apart. I’ve missed her. I know our lives have changed directions and we live in different neighborhoods and I have a hard time getting around, and we both have things that require our attention, but I would like to be friends again. Good friends, too. Not just friends who keep saying they should get together but never do.

She said we should get together next week, and I said, yes we should. Let’s make plans. So she’s coming here on Wednesday, and we can have lunch on the deck. See, I set my deck up so that I could have people over. Now I can invite people and be social, again. Maybe not huge parties and bunches of people—that still stresses me out to no end, but one or two people? I think I can handle that.

When I first got pregnant I stopped creating and stopped going out and kind of became someone else. A friend of mine told me not to worry, it would come back, and it did, after G, until I got pregnant again. Then the ‘me’ went away again. Now that I is starting to get older and starting to take solids (I fed her rice cereal for the first time today!) maybe, just maybe, I can start getting back to my life again. You have no idea how relieved I am.

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