The Gold Fish Pond

The Goldfish Pond
Ttv (through the viewfinder) casio exilm through Duaflex II

You'll have to excuse me folks, I am in a huge funk.

This is despite the fact that some good things are happening. The publishing of today's BlissChick interview (the Rowena of that interview has much more wisdom than the Rowena of this post, so go see what she has to say instead of me). The recent publishing of my Pecannoot interview (seriously, funk here, go there). Even hitting my 500th post and having a subsequent giveaway. These are good things.

And yet, life is conspiring in a way to make it really hard to be positive.

I am trying, though. I am trying.

As evidence, my photo above.

See the beautiful feast of flowers that are blooming in the muck of our little goldfish pond? Despite the showers of dirt and pebbles and who knows what that my littles have been dumping in there for a year, they are lush and gorgeous.

Is there a metaphor here? Out of the muck of the swamp(ish) the beauty is born.

Waiting for those blossoms, here.

She Remembers the Fire Inside

She Remembers the Fire Inside
Acrylic on Paper, 8"x10"

This painting is from the Thursday Sweet Treat prompt, "the warmth of the fire inside."

I know it's odd that it isn't all warm shades. You think warmth and fire and you think red and yellow and orange. But I was laying in bed staring at the shadows on the ceiling, and all of a sudden saw patterns of peach and blue. It reminded me of paisley or chandeliers.

And then I thought it also reminded me of reflections, of smoke, and said to myself, there's the prompt!

I like also how the fire is hidden in the subtlety of the colors. There's a pale fire, too. A white fire is hotter than the red one. And I like the veneer of sophistication here, but the hint that there's something burning inside.

I don't know how much meaning this painting has in my life... it kind of looks like it has nothing to do with my life, although I usually take lessons from whatever I've learned or experienced lately. It almost seems like I am making up a life, a hollywood life of glamor.

Eh, whatever the meaning, I still think it's pretty. And everything doesn't always have to be meaningful.

she remembers the sunsets and (unrelated) The Superfantabulous Inspire Me Winning Prompt Giveaway!

she remembers the sunsets
8"x10" Acrylic on Paper

Hello from a new land.

I seem to be going someplace, and the map is not clear. I know this painting was inspired by the colors turquoise and red. And the ideas of beach and portrait.

My Flying Girls have been continuing their journey for most of six months. Maybe longer. The format has allowed me to explore many things, both in meaning and in technique.

But other things seem to want to get out right now.

What a mystery.

Where do they come from? What makes them come when they do?

Sometimes I am amazed that something that did not exist yesterday is now a fully formed... something.

Is life like that too? Do things work under the surface unseen by us, only to pop up when they are ready and become real living (or seemingly living) things?

Let me tell you another thing that is new:

This is my 500th post! All those words! All those days! All those journeys! I just kept going step by step and then here I am, 500 posts later and I am in a totally different place than I was when I first started. Physically, mentally, creatively.

It kind of snuck up on me. I knew it was coming but it snuck up on me all the same.

Now here I am, and I am not quite sure where I am. Well. I'm RIGHT HERE, but what I mean is, I'm not quite sure what comes next.

So in honor of my befuddlement, I am offering a giveaway!

Of what?

I don't know!

That's where you come in.

The Superfantabulous Inspire Me Winning Prompt Giveaway!

To enter the giveaway, leave a comment here on this post, and in your comment, leave a prompt for me to use to create a new painting. You can make it a quote or a word or phrase, another image, a challenge, a technique, a social issue or whatever you think might get those juices flowing. Use your creativity to stoke my creativity. Haha. This is a ridiculous giveaway, but it's mine and I choose to be ridiculous.

I will paint a picture from the winning prompt and you will receive a limited edition print of that painting.

Bonus points if your prompt helps me find the next direction for my work. (A surprise secret additional gift. [No I have no idea what that would be, either.])

Also leave your name and a way to get in contact with you, because otherwise, how do I get it to you?

I will keep this giveaway open until Midnight, New York time, Sunday, May 3.

Let the inspiration races begin!


she remembers the sunsets is for sale as a print here

Turning the Lens Around A Bit

Portrait of Mama
by Ivy, my 2 year old daughter who still has to grasp some of the fine points of aiming and focusing.

Happy new week, everybody.

I'm so excited. Jess Gonacha over at Pecannoot has posted an interview with me.

I am very proud to be a part of her interview series and have loved all the previous interviews. Pecannoot is about abundance and productivity and art and all sorts of wonderful positive things. Such a great thing to be focusing on the yesses in the world today instead of all the nononos.

Check out my interview and stay to see what other wonderful things are in the Pecannoot world, as well as Jess's etsy, blog, and website.

Flying Girl and the Soul Moving, or He Says It's Ten Mile River

Flying Girl and the Soul Moving, or He Says It's Ten Mile River
4/23/09
Mixed Media, acrylic and collage on paper, 7"x10"

When you do the things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.
-Rumi

I've been seeing Rumi quotes all over the internet. This one just happens to match this picture.

I did this for a Thursday Sweet Treat Prompt-- the landscape of the soul. Really, that's what all the Flying Girls are. They are a dream moving through that landscape. Sometimes it's dark, sometimes it's light, sometimes it's urban, sometimes rural. Sometimes it's completely make believe or sometimes it's a place I clearly remember.

This one was kind of based on some dreams that I have sometimes, of floating down the river. This river here is made of words, if you can see them. Cut out of a book that I altered many years ago. In my dream, the river is usually the Hudson, but when S saw this painting, he said it was Ten Mile River, which I think is in California. It's a place I've never been, but he insisted I put Ten Mile River into the title.

I don't know. Is the landscape of the soul a place I've never seen? Maybe there are connections all throughout life that we don't understand. Maybe important things resonate.

Sometimes I think about places I've never been that someday I'll call home. They are strange now, but when I look back, they will feel very right. Journeys are like that. They change who you are.

(I don't know what I'm saying here, but I know it's right.)

It Lets The Light Come In

Garden at Sun Down
4/23/09

Change is hard.

Maybe some of you have a fun time when the world is all topsy turvy. To you I say... how do you do it?

But still.

I understand something about hard times. It's taken me 38 years to get there, but there is a bit of understanding.

What I understand is that if you make your way through it, you get to new places, where the light shines brighter and the sun is warmer.

Oh, it's trite alright. It's always darkest before the dawn. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Yadda yadda. But I've learned it from the inside out.

I begin to believe.

The tough times are still tough, but they don't trap me as much as they used to. Or if they do, it doesn't last as long.

I understand. I see. I start looking for the light when it feels like things can't get any darker.

And I start looking for the new, too.

When things start feeling like they don't fit quite right. When my skin is a bit too tight and uncomfortable, I start looking for that new path. A detour maybe. I start remembering that just because I set myself on this path does not mean I am chained to it.

Things change. They always change. We might fight it, but that detour that takes us from our comfortable is sometimes necessary to get us to where we really need to go.

Oh pfiffle pfaffle. Rowena, what the heck are you talking about?

I don't really know.

I'll tell you when I figure it out.

It's a Question of Art... or Maybe it's a Question of Blogging

Girl Who Is Worth It, Girl of the Silver Seas, Girl of the Dawn
4/09
Three ACEOS, mixed media acrylic paintings on 140lb watercolor paper, 2.5"x3.5"

Lately, I have been thinking about what purpose art serves in my life.

I mean, I paint a lot, as you have seen. But the question remains, why am I doing it?

Art for me has always been an outlet. Feelings, thoughts, experiences, meaning, understanding. It's been a way to pass the time when there was nothing else to do. It's been a way to document where I have been and what I have seen. It's also been a tactile pleasure, the colors, the feel of pen or pencil or brush on paper. It's also been a thrill. It's just fun to make something out of nothing, to create something pretty or strong. (as a side note, I have also used writing to do all these things.)

Art has never been linked to commerce for me before. Now I have my shop, and I feel like I am painting things just for the shop. Well not quite, but in a way, I feel that the shop legitimizes something that was just "fun."

It's messing with my head a bit. Now that it's "work" I've drained a lot of the "fun" out of it... but it's not that the experience is different, just my reading of it. I think because if it isn't "fun", then it must be "work", and if it's "work" then it must be "worth it". Here lies the strange logic of my value system-- the same one that has always said my art/I wasn't worth monetary remuneration.

Hey, I know it's screwy. I'm working on changing my attitudes towards self worth and money and abundance. It's the time for it, what with the recession and underemployment and SAHMing. I think I will come out of the other side of these trouble with a new world view, a new self view and a lot more abundance. If I keep working on it. Which I guess I am... in part with my painting. Hello Flying Girl on her Journey. Hello Goddess Girls and their spirits being drawn into the world. (What's her name, "Girl Who is Worth It?")

This comes back to my art again. What is it? To tell you the truth, if I were serious about entering the art world-- you know, "The Art World" with gallery representation and critical acclaim, I think I would be painting something different. Landscapes or abstracts or portraits, and probably much larger and canvas. I think I wouldn't have my girls on their journeys. These are stories. These are spirituality. These are lessons. I'm not really going in the traditional art world direction.

Is it a bad idea for me to put out there what my art means to me, and hopefully what it means to my life? I mean, I wouldn't mind gallery representation if it happened, but right now, my art is ABOUT the lesson. It's about creativity and wholeness and how everyone can use art to find themselves and move forward in their path.

In a way, while I love my paintings, what I am doing is not really "about" the product. It is about the process. The process of creating me. The process of exploring the creative journey. Ultimately, I know that I want to be even more explicit and write a book about creativity and transformation, for everyone.

You see, another important part of my creativity right now is actually you.

If it were all about me, I probably wouldn't still be painting with the frequency that I am. When I paint, I think about you-- my readers, my friends. I think about the meaning, not only to me, but what it all can mean to you.

So here's my question for you:
What would you like in these posts? How can I help or inspire you in your own creativity and understanding? Do you want more Flying Girls and analysis? Do you want to hear about the physical process of creation, how the paint goes down, how decisions are made about what to paint? Do you want discussions of how to further your own creativity? Breaking through blocks and developing your voice? Do you want exercises or prompts? I am a teacher and I love to do it, so this is no problem for me. Or are we talking empowerment here? Do we want discussions about what it means to be human, a woman, a mom, an artist, a child? Do you want more personal stories? Do you want to hear mommyblogger stuff? More kid activities? Should I be taking more photos of my life with my little point and shoot? More art, less talk? More talk less art? Contests? Giveaways? Interviews with other artists/writers/bloggers?

Whatever you are interested in. I'd like to hear. Even if I didn't mention it, give me a shout and tell me. Leave a comment or email me or twitter me or, hey! even join my Facebook fan page... which is still in development. I can't believe I have a "fan" page, but hey, it's the biz.

Flying Girl Between Heaven and Earth, or (Im)Possible

Flying Girl Between Heaven and Earth, or (Im)Possible
4/20/09
Golden Fluid Acrylics on Paper 7"x10"

Here is my question here: in going for our dreams, do we sometimes fail to realize that we already have happiness right where we are?

While shooting for the moon, do we not recognize the day to day, the wonder, the fulfillment, the joy?

Maybe the moon really is impossible. Maybe it is just impossible right now in this moment. Maybe if we climb some trees, glowing with the blossoms of new Spring, we will find our path to the moon.

I mean, it is already a miracle to be able to fly. Should we revel in that miracle, instead of ignoring it for the dream of space flight?

Oh yeah, this is a prompt for Illustration Friday (Impossible)

Speaking of Possible/Impossible and Illustration Friday, they made me Pick of the Week this week, so Moon Rabbit is up there all week. Wow. I never thought that would happen. Thank you Penelope and Brianna.

Girl of Yes

Girl of Yes
4/17/09
Golden Fluid Acrylic, watercolor pencil, marker on paper, 3.5x2.5" ACEO

This is a girl of abundance. She is surrounded with symbols of abundance, the green of the lush foliage, the bronze of the curtains and gold coins as a corona.

In her hand is an empty bowl.

I believe that in order to receive, one must have an openness, and emptiness... a nothing waiting to be filled.

I do not think I have mastered this nothingness, this letting go. It is very hard to release what you have been holding onto. It is hard to let go when you feel there is a lack, and you must hang on to whatever you can, because if you let go, you will have nothing. It's hard to trust that life moves on, that the universe provides, that you can actually work for and receive those dreams you have been holding onto for so long... particularly if you let them go.

Paradox? You can have your dreams by letting them go?

I think it's about having what IS, what actually is. And not holding on to tightly to that "what is," either, but cupping it loosely, so that it is free to transform into what it is supposed to be, not what you think it should be.

Only then can you be filled with true abundance.

Does this make sense or am I talking out of my, uhm...emptiness?

I painted this in order to focus myself on abundance, because I could use some of that. You could focus on it too, if you wanted to buy her. ;)

What do you think abundance is? What do you do to receive this abundance?

Flying Girl and Moon Rabbit Take Off, or Fleeting

Flying Girl and Moon Rabbit Take Off, or Fleeting
4/16/09
Golden Fluid Acrylic on Watercolor Paper, 7"x10"

Inspired by Illustration Friday's prompt, "fleeting" and my 2 year old daughters statement that I needed to add a moon to the rabbit and girl.

Because childhood is fleeting. Because whimsy is fleeting. The phases of the moon are fleeting. Home is fleeting. Balance is fleeting. Struggle is fleeting. Joy is fleeting. Sorrow is fleeting. Youth is fleeting. Time is fleeting. I am fleeting, you are fleeting. Everything around us is just a moment.

The only thing is now.


You can get the print of this on etsy.