Thursday, September 30, 2010

Traveling September: Field, Barn, Cloudy Day

Traveling September: Field, Barn, Cloudy Day

I'm a little obsessed with these landscapes. Photographs. Paintings. Pen and Ink.

Perhaps it's the journeying. The feeling of motion, passing through the colors and shapes, light and shade.

Perhaps it's because I can't bear to be sitting somewhere and doing nothing with my hands. If I'm riding in a car, I need something in my hands, I need to be creating, documenting, making, doing. The same goes while standing around waiting at work. Or while watching tv at night, with my feet up. My hands must be busy.

Time is still traveling and I need to capture the moments and turn them into something I can hold with my hands.

I used to turn this nervous energy into my journals. I would write wherever I went, filling a new journal in 3 months. This latest journal, which I am just finishing up, lasted me 9 months. I guess I'm doing other things with my hands. And putting my words into my blog, instead of my journal.

I was going to post today about paying attention to details... but the truth is, my mind is traveling today. I have the day off of work, and have scheduled myself to go down into the basement and spend my work day there, instead, revising my novel.

My brain is already thinking about how I can get through this post and get everything ready to go and write.

Didn't I just post about paying attention to the moment?

But then, maybe this moment right here is not about being right here, but about preparing for the next moment. It's okay if I'm not settled into my spot, but rushing ahead to the next half hour... because that's what this moment is about. Preparing. Anticipation. The next step.

All in all, it just is what it is. And the journey is the living. And the living is the moment. This moment is good, in its presence and in its anticipation.

There is jazz in the background. A little girl doing downward dog on the couch while watching Dora, the smell of eggs cooking in the kitchen, and me thinking... novels, pages, tightening, hot coffee and how I should probably get dressed before I submerge into revision.

What is your moment about?

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