Flying Girl Flies at Night or Remember Your Dreams
Golden Fluid Acrylic
So yesterday was my Fourth Year Blogoversary. It's hard to believe I have been blogging so long. Actually, I started the year before, but I've been with Warrior Girl for four years, and it began when I began my journey with motherhood.
I don't think it's a coincidence that I started this blog right before the new year. I think it was the New Year and the reflection that came with it that had me sit down and pay attention to where I had come from and where I was going. Thus Warrior Girl was born.
To mark that day, last night I sat down with my paints, something I hadn't done in a comparatively long time, considering my every day painting habit of the previous few months, and I let Flying Girl loose to wander.
Remember Your Dreams was what came out.
That's really what this blog has meant for me, I think. It came at a time when I had forgotten all those dreams I had once had, lost in procreation. Maybe these things don't happen to every pregnant and nursing mother, but to me they did. A big part of myself got lost. Two kids later, and four years, I think I've gotten back to myself, in no small part because of this blog and the community I discovered here.
Maybe it shows you how lost I was that I was writing this blog for 3 years before I even got a reader or two. It wasn't until last year around March where I really started putting effort into this blog, writing regularly, commenting, finding communities where something clicked, people who I saw as kindred.
That's what this year was for. And that brings me to the other painting I did last night. I guess I was ready to paint again after my Holiday hiatus.
Flying Girl Sends the Call, or Find Your Wings
Golden Fluid Acrylics
Yeah. That was this year, as I explored my creativity for the first time in 4 (maybe longer) years. It wasn't easy. It might look easy at the end point, when all you see is the output, but it took so much work, both mental and physical and so long, and so many baby steps. It's only when I look back at the beginning of this year that I can see how far I've come.
And I did. I looked at my journal from a year ago. I could barely read it. I had forgotten what I horrible state things were in. I was in. Sometimes, it is easy to forget how hard this year has been. I mean, really, really bad.
And I am so glad.
By focusing on positivity, on happiness, on beauty, on meaning, on lessons and productivity, on moving forward, I was able to gain so much more than I would have if I had focused on all the really sucky things that happened this year. I don't even need to give details, just imagine your own sucky things, or worse ones if you had a good year.
And I wonder also, if this year had not been so hard, would I have made so many leaps and bounds forward in who I want to be?
I say this, not to gain pity for my hardships or congratulations for my successes. I say this for everyone else.
It is possible.
No matter how bad it gets, there is hope.
You can come back. You can discover your wings. You can remember those passions, even if you have to go digging around in your childhood to find them.
So thank you for coming on this journey with me this year. I don't think anyone's been following since the beginning of WG, but there are a few who saw the start of my rebirth.
And it has meant so much to me.
I wonder where we will fly next.