Thursday, December 11, 2008
I stayed up very very late last night making a robot (still to come) and some chocolate chip cookies out of felt. I used a cookie cutter as a template, and cut circles out of tan and light brown felt, but didn't worry about them being perfectly round, since cookies never are. I glued the two circles together, then snipped "chips" out of the scraps of the brown felt and glued those on. If I were channeling Martha Stewart, I would have stuffed them and sewn them together with a blanket stitch and embroidery floss, but I already made a vow not to be seduced this season by The Martha. Anyway, whatever I do, my three year old and almost two year old will tear apart (it's a promise) so I'm okay with glue. They are really cute, and G did ask for cookies for Christmas.
Did I mention I stayed up until two doing this? I don't know why I did it. Upon retrospect, it was a pretty bad idea, since the kids got up early, leaving me about four hours of sleep.
But in truth, I've been having trouble falling asleep. Having trouble switching gears. Having my mind spin around, even though I know I should go to bed. It's been going on awhile, at least since the beginning of December.
In conjunction with this, I have been conspicuously silent on the novel and painting front.
Yes, I've been creative. I've been making presents and being a creative parent. I've been enjoying myself on Burning Lines.
But, there's something else going on under the surface.
Kelley on Dragonfly Reflections talks about this sleeplessness being a "growth spurt."
I can't even really articulate what is happening inside of me, but I have experienced these times of sleeplessness and floating anxiety more than once in my life. Something is happening.
Don't really know what, although I am beginning to get some ideas.
Something about living into my dreams. Something about being the conductor of this little choo choo. Something about going all the way with my intentions. Many small thoughts are swimming around in my head, trying to conglomerate and become a new universe of being.