This is Where Love Resides
Cotton fabric, felt, silver embroidery floss, glass beads, paper, acrylic paint, fiber fill, thread
My mind is not in posting today.
I am in a whirl of new creating. My mind is burbling with ideas.
I am behind on photo shoots, posting, listing in my etsy shop and emails.
It's kind of a fun period, but I do get the feeling sometimes as if somebody is looking down at me going, "what is she doing sitting on her arse all day sewing and painting and messing around when there is work to be done, kids to be taken outside and money to be made."
I was wondering what my thoughts today would have to do with this piece of artwork, which was made, really, quite a long time ago. It was the only one I had a photo of that I hadn't posted already... the only Blessing Flying Girl that I have finished so far in fabric, rather than felt. I discovered that the felt actually works better than the fabric for my purposes. I do have more things to show. The stacks of works in progress are rising, and the items that haven't had the opportunity for camera time, too.
But there it is, the connection.
"This Is Where Love Resides."
These feelings I have that I should be productive, that I should be realistic, that I should be making money and be a better housekeeper and a better mom, this is not love, this is fear and insecurity.
This internalized harangue is not where Love resides.
Where does it reside? Where I allow myself to sit and create for the duration of my cold (oh yeah, I'm sick again)? Does it reside in believing that my dreams will get me where I want to go? Sticking with it, even if the returns have not really come in yet? I have the sinking feeling that I'm going to have to give up part of my dreams to make a more concrete, realistic life choice. But then again, that doesn't mean that I have to give up the whole thing. Maybe I just have to reorganize and reorder things a bit. I do love to organize things, although you would not be able to tell if you looked in my bedroom.
(reverse) this is where Love resides
I like experimenting with art. I like trying new media and working out new solutions for my little problems.
I believe that this skill helps in real life too (and contrary to that silly idea that I see from time to time, Life is NOT Art. Life is Life. Art is how we make sense of Life). Sometimes I think I do better in Art than in Life. But, I can go about living creatively, and if I do so, perhaps I will get better at the realistic, concreteness of Life.
But remember, this is where Love resides, too. We have to temper the need for living realistically with things like Love, Beauty, Kindness and Art.
Perhaps the key to balancing the concrete aspects of living with the more ephemeral aspects is to really live in the NOW. Being present to what is there. Not putting off things that you really want, or conversely, are really afraid of. (Is that "or conversely" or should it be "and consequently"?)
Oh it all feels quite like being a juggler, dancing on a high wire, trying to keep those balls in the air... hmmm.... am I getting another idea?