Friday, February 06, 2009

Spin Your Web Flying Girl, or Muse

Spin Your Web Flying Girl, or Muse
Golden Fluid Acrylic

Oh I have been so stumped the last few days.
I was flitting about on the internet when I came across this post from Jessie, in which she asked, "who is your inner muse? What is she like? And does she have a name? Tell me about her. I want to know."

Is it possible that our muse changes over the course of our lives? She used to be named Ravenna and she was a wild gypsy who drank espresso in Greenwich Village garden cafes and smoked cigarettes on Brooklyn fire escapes and wrote poetry in journals that she carried with her wherever she went, from the high art museums of NYC to the deep and winding tunnels of the NY subway system where music floated through all the connections. I don't know who my muse is right now. I no longer have time and freedom to hunt for her and give her free reign. When I thought about that past muse, I realized she is no longer here. So who is she? Where is she? I'm still going, so she must be here... but where?

And then I had the flash of an idea that my muse was a spider. Very different. So I painted the FG to represent her.

Here it is. I hated it. I still wince putting it up.

It took me three days and 4 layers of paint to figure out what I was doing.

I really like the final outcome... the textures and layers and colors and mystery. I have no idea why the chair is there, but I felt like it needed to be there. The words came after seeing Rosa's (no relation) picture and Leah's suggestion. Although it took me a while to figure out what she was saying, the spider, that is, not the girl. The girl is listening.

So how do I get a Spider for a muse? My life is far different from the one I lived when Ravenna was at large. Now I sit at home, clicking away on my little computer, scanning for vibrations of sustenance on the ether, spinning out pictures and stories in the shadows of sleep time. :)

I guess there's a reason why Ms. Ariadne stopped by.

And what does it mean to spin my web? It means one strand at a time, building the anchors first and then the rest. It means continuing it's upkeep regularly lest it turn into a cobweb meant for catching dust. It means having patience and waiting for what is mine to come. It means being content with the quiet life in the corner I have at this moment, because I am creating this thing out of what is inside of me.

I also came to realize that feeling sorry for myself is the whole root of creative block. So I have a cold coming on and the kids woke up multiple times last night, so what? That's no reason to wallow in "poor me" and sniffles. No reason to not sit down to do revision.

I mean, maybe there was a reason why this painting didn't want to be finished in one night. Maybe it needed the layers and time to consider. Maybe my process is deepening and my paintings are getting more complex. I'm okay with that. But I am also in the process of getting used to the new way of creating. I kept painting every day and then putting it down to consider. I would like to have more than one painting going at a time, if that's the way I am going to be working, but I can build up to that.

However, the same "considering" when thinking about my novel is leading me to avoid my scant writing time. It's really easy to "consider" what I am going to write, and then, all of a sudden the kids are up and there is no time to actually get writing done.

Also related to this is how my business goals for the Portfolio project are falling by the wayside. It all comes down to time, how little I have of it, and what I chose to do (or chose to sacrifice) in that time. I simply don't have "business" time scheduled in everywhere. No set schedule for figuring out my shop or take care of paperwork. That has to be in there or it won't happen.

How does this relate to the FG? I guess it's the spinning of the web, which is really my life, and the anchors I want to have in place. How do we put the anchors in place? What are they? What is important?

When I started the Portfolio project, I think the main initial goal was to set up a productive creative and business practice that was sustainable. Maybe I need these weeks when I get little done to evaluate what is productive and sustainable and what is not.


D'Arcy said...

spinning the web. I like that image a lot. i like the idea of creating and adding onto and formation.

ina said...

you inspire me so much. you work so hard.

i know why the chair is there: sit down for a minute. enjoy how much you've accomplished.

thank you for another articulate post and beautiful picture.

Genie Sea said...

The chair is an invitation to sit and meditate a while. For you. For us.

I find your FG series a truly living. breathing, speaking, inspiring series.

Keep on, keeping on, and if you need to sniffle, here's a tissue :)

Jessie said...

This painting is beyond beautiful and so very interesting. I love seeing where it began. Your flying girl series is truly powerful.

I've been thinking about your muse ever since you told me about her. She has awakened something that was sleeping inside of me. Actually, your entire flying girl series taps into a part of me that has been sleeping. I am grateful to be reawakening and grateful to have found you in this vast world of blogs.


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