Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Landscape ACEOs

Skyline Watertowers, or Constellate
28/100 in 100 creative challenge, 6/28/09
Golden Fluid Acrylic and paint pen on linen finish paper, 2.5"x3.5" ACEO

You'll have to forgive me. My challenge numbers are getting out of order. But I am behind in posting and still have 2 or 3 paintings to put up here... and I am not quite caught up to paintings. Oh, those lazy days will get you.

So when I went to the art store to pick up new brushes, I got a little pack of ACEO blanks. I figured, why not? And then, when I had mixed up too much of a gorgeous blue color for a flying girl, and I didn't want to waste all that paint, I grabbed one of the ACEOs and painted the whole thing. Then I found one of my lost inspiration tiles randomly on the floor, and it said "skyline." I thought, hey, why not? I'd also been seeing city skylines, and watertowers, so I thought I'd go for it. I like it.
Passing Landscape 1
29/100 in 100 Creative Challenge, 6/30/09
Golden Fluid Acrylic on linen finish paper, 2.5x3.5" ACEO

This too started as the leftover paint of a painting I was (still am) doing this morning. The color and image is no doubt inspired by what I was doing yesterday.

I've been going through all the photos on my computer, in anticipation of getting a new computer, and getting rid of anything I wouldn't send, post, paint or print. The problem with digital is that it is so easy to take as many photos as you want. But what do you do with them then? Best to get rid of all but the best.

I came upon a series that I took last year while on a road trip. I took the photos out of the back car window as the sun slowly rose. When I went through my photos, which I'd never touched since I uploaded them, I lightened them and heightened the contrast on the predawn, too dark pictures and gasped at what came out. Some of them were so lovely. Some of them looked like paintings. They are smudged and blurred and random and shadowed, and they probably show what a bad photographer I really am-- I have zero technical skills, but I still love them.

Road Trip
7/08

This is one of them. It's the one that most reminds me of the ACEO. I have the feeling that I will be doing more of these paintings. I don't feel that I really captured what I wanted to... although I do like the little painting, I'd just like to work a little more on the possibilities.

I did the painting after looking at the photos yesterday, but I did not use any paintings as sources. I kind of think I should, but maybe I would feel too stuck to the photo?

I also noticed that with the 100 in 100 project, I am almost forced to try new things. I simply run out of ideas. I have to experiment or take a side path. One might look at my Flying Girls and wonder why I would do landscapes, but this new series of Flying Girls doesn't have the landscape background that many of the old Flying Girls did. In fact, both of these ACEO's could have been the background for a flying girl.

So even if a painting or a topic or a technique seems like it's a departure, maybe it's just a little return to something you once loved.

I think the past is such a rich vein to mine.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Flying Girl and the Break of Dawn, or I Hold The Night Within (and wreckage)

Flying Girl and the Break of Dawn, or I Hold The Night Within
25/100 in 100 creative project, 6/26/09
Golden Fluid Acrylic, white ink pen on paper, 5x8"

This is what the dawn looked like from my window as I lay in my bed with a child who had been woken by lightning in the middle of the night and refused to go back to sleep. More or less, my eyes were bleary.

But also, here is the internal landscape. In the dawn, we carry the night inside of us.... and in the night, we carry the dawn. The bird? Well... I guess there's something inside of her that keeps her flying, no matter the night, no matter the dawn.

For this week's book club entry, I took my Wreck This Journal for a walk with the family. We fixed the double stroller, now they only want to ride.

But the journal went on it's own two feet... er... multiple pages. The edges wore off a bit and the cover got smudged, but I was not as wreckeriffic as some of the hikers WTJ hikers I've seen. I'm okay with that. The leash is a nifty woven leather belt I found at a thrift store for a buck.
This is actually the second time I decorated my cover. The first time, which looked much like this but with a purple milk pen, got completely smudged and wiped out when I took the book for a walk. So I redid it in white. I like white on black. It probably reminds me of chalk boards, and all those years of being either a teacher or a student. Sometimes both at the same time.
Here is some more purple milk pen... covered by blue milk pen when the purple alone wasn't opaque enough to cover the letters. I like the way this looks. It took forever and my hand cramped up, but I still like it. This might be my favorite page. It makes me smile. Why? I don't know. I'm weird. I also like that I didn't follow the directions to the letter. Notice there is not one jot in the margins. I like the written page too much. Perhaps this is an ode to books. You can't read it anymore, although it didn't matter to begin with, but it still looks like language. It's still familiar and comforting. And the only word left un covered is "yes."
Here's my ugly page. It started when I realized how much I was yelling at the poor kids. Yes, they were ignoring me and making messes and fighting and all that, but still. Ugly mommy. G said it didn't look like me, but oh well. There's also scared/overwhelmed me... which is perhaps where the yelling me came from. On the same page is G's prompt of ugly things having a hundred legs. Then he said it looked like a centipede. And then there are the cockroaches... palmetto bugs, that are huge and fly... both dead and alive. The dead ones don't fly, but they lay on their back and occasionally kick their legs and grab onto the broom when you try to sweep them out the door. *shudder* Also the little poop in the potty. Yuck. The ripped screen window, which lets in evil mosquitos. The dirty foot prints from walking around barefoot on top of scattered cheerios and bananas and whatever else my children shed every minute of their beings. The cheerios and dust underneath the sofa. Oh yes, and little kids waking in the dark of night and not going back to sleep. Ugh. This is all in shades of black, dark gray, dark brown, with a smidgeon of stale pee yellow and oh yeah... a touch of red for the burn of a mosquito bite that has been scratched too much.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Flying Girl All to Pieces, or Discombobulated

Flying Girl All to Pieces, or Discombobulated
024/100 in 100
Golden Fluid Acrylic and Prismacolor Watercolor pencils, 5x8"

This is what I felt like when I sat down to paint. All to pieces. Confused. Overwhelmed. But still knowing, somehow, that there was a pattern in it all. Just hard to see from the inside.

PS I'd like to say that I got two orders in the mailbox only moments before the mail man came to my door. And it was not easy to get them together while I had two little munchkins demanding my attention every 5 seconds. Feeding them didn't help. Turning on the television didn't help. Sending them to the garden to play didn't help. Yelling didn't help. Got to figure out a better system. Grumble.

Flying Girl and Her Interior Landscape, or Can't Take the Bronx out of the Girl

Flying Girl and Her Interior Landscape, or Can't Take the Bronx out of the Girl
23/100 in 100 creative challenge, 6/25/09
Golden Fluid Acrylic, Prismacolor watercolor pencils, Pitt Artist Pens, and gel pens

Trying to catch up to my 100 in 100 posts. I still have two more to post, but I want to give them their own posts. Phew. This is a lot of work.

I would like to say though, the it seems this painting is also part of this poem/post inspired by Marta.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Flying Girl and the Bears, or The Storyteller

Flying Girl and the Bears, or The Storyteller
021/100 in 100 creative challenge, 6/21/09
Golden Fluid Acrylic, watercolor pencil, Pitt artist pen on watercolor paper, 5x8"

This painting is mainly inspired by a story my son told. The story is the text behind the girl.

He dictated it to me and I wrote it out as a gift to papa for Father's Day.

Here is the story.

One day, Gabriel and Ivy were walking with mommy and WaWa and Papa. Grandma and Grandpa and Kevin were driving.

Then everybody came to the house.

There was a bear. The bear said go away.

Then Grandma and Grandpa and Kevin and WaWa and Mama and Papa and Gabriel and Ivy went away.

The bear was still in the cave.

Everybody went to Grandma's house. Then Grandma and Grandpa and Kevin came to our house.

Three bears were in the house. The bears said go away. Everybody went away.

There was another bear at grandma's. The bears took over the houses.

Everyone went to a faraway place where there were no bears!

They found a new house. A cozy house with kitties and dogs and everybody lived happily ever after. Everybody loved all day.

THE END


If you'll notice, this painting is out of order, and delayed. Life has been a little topsy turvy lately here.

S went out to California to get us all set up out there. The plans are afoot for our move at the end of the summer... hopefully. This is big news but still in the distance.

You get the theme of moving in G's story, right? And the new house with no bears where everybody loved all day? And puppies and kittens? So apparently it's on every one's mind.

When I painted this, I didn't really have time or energy or ideas, so I just went with G's story, which had just been created that day.

I'm still learning how to balance this art stuff with this mothering stuff and all the other stuff of being alive. It's kind of complicated and kind of overwhelming. But I'm working on it.

If I'm a little off with posting or painting, it's because I am trying to create a new routine for myself that with smooth out my rough edges. I'm trying to recommit to my projects and business and movement forward. I'm trying to figure out my goals and break them down into baby steps and set up a schedule for myself.

You see, my brain is pretty organic and messy, but in order to move forward, I need to have mental order. So I do a lot of lists and writing and thinking and pile making.

I first started writing a journal, actually, at the age of 12 because I knew I had a messy mind and I wanted to remember things.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Flying Girl Remembers Nights of Grass and Sky, or Markings

Flying Girl Remembers Nights of Grass and Sky, or Markings
022/100 in 100 Creative Challenge, 6/23/09
Golden Fluid Acrylic, watercolor pencil, pitt artist pen on watercolor paper, 5"x8"

Where are you and your crazy stories from, anyway? asks my friend Marta.

Such a long story.

I am from a city of cement and flame. The Bronx is burning in abandoned tenements and poetry.

I am from the pictures that won't stay in my head, won't stay in my father's head and need to come out on the page.

I am from hard times and walk up flats in soon to be condemned buildings. I am from slums where cats scream in the alley and empty lots grow forests off cool breath. Where grandmothers cook rice and beans and read cards for people who don't pay.

I am from reading at night under the covers and behind curtains and in cars and at the dinner table and beneath the school lockers. From dragons and magic, from universes untold. I am from painting and singing, and the smooth feel of an empty page beneath my fingers.

I am from chanting in Japanese. And rooms full of sound and incense, like blood pulsing through everyone.

I am from summers on the farm and cool hills dusted with buttercups and indian paintbrush and snap dragons. Forests of mint leaves and blackberries and fairy rings.

I am from the crocheted beret my mother wore, and her long long hair, cut short in independence when she finally left my father for his madness.

I am from the subways taking me away and bringing me back and the finding of lessons in the way the tree branches shadowed the hilly street.

I am from still looking for meaning.

I am from penstrokes and brushstrokes like train tracks and ancient calligraphy.

I am from the layers of what has past and from and the destruction of gentrification. The possibility. The dreams.

I am from the words. And the paint. The sound and the dust.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Flying Girl Likes to Wear Flowers When Things Are Tough, or Hot City
20/100 in 100 Creative Challenge.
Golden Fluid Acrylics and watercolor pencil on paper, 5X8"

Flying Girl is Made of Light and Air, or Nothing
19/100 in 100 Creative Challenge
Acrylic and Watercolor Pencil on paper, 5"x8"

Oh I am getting behind.

This is has been a busy and stressful weekend with lots of time that was needed to do family things. Almost harder to post to the blog than it is to paint. Hm.

It's been tough. I'm still going.

I intend to catch up. Now that the weekend is over, I think I'll have a little more time to focus on my work and hopefully I can get back to making it all fit together. A little space.

What do you do when it gets tough to keep on your track?

Wreck This Journal Some More

Fun times with opposite hands. There's a bit of Rightie bias in this book... as the directions didn't take into account that many people are left handed. I took the adaptation into my own, ahem... hands. Left and right. They make a nicely symmetrical drawing.

I love contour drawing. And blind contour can be so much fun and so surprising and such a good test of what we "think" a picture should look like. But this isn't blind. I looked.
One word over and over. "believe." except for the solo circled word over in the top right corner. That was a typo from the repetition. "be live" it says. I found that to be profound. And when I was done, I felt compelled to paste the fern onto the page. so I did.
This is a magnolia leaf, I believe. It is beautifully brown and leathery on one side and suedish on the other. My son gave it to me. I thought it was so attractive that pasted it in the book. Now I don't want to fill the page up with any other botanical specimens, I just want it there, solo. I might paint away the directions and do some patterns to hi light the lonely grace.

I find that I do something to a page, then come back to it much later. I have many half formed pages. I don't know what they are going to end up being.

Our bookclub for Wreck This Journal, by Keri Smith.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Flying Girl Dances or Moving Lines

Flying Girl Dances or Moving Lines
18/100 in 100 Creative Challenge 6/18/09
Golden Fluid Acrylic and watercolor pencil on paper, 5x8"

Houston, we have a problem.

I did two paintings in one day, so that made me feel that I was not required to paint the next day. I also did not post to the blog for that day, and when I sat down to try (ahem, force myself) to paint that night, I was as empty as a blown out Easter egg. I did this painting, but I didn't finish it last night, I barely started that, and it looks quite a bit like the second title should be SYTYCD, which I was watching. I don't particularly like it and I don't have any attachment to it. It was a painting done because I had to paint. Filler, if you will. And posting it to my blog is obligation, and far later than usual. Now I know I have to paint tomorrow's piece and I have no idea what is coming. I'm struggling to maintain my commitment.

When building a routine, I do not think it is effective to blow off the routine. Particularly in the second... oh wait, THIRD week when the doldrums set in. The blush is off the rose, you start to get grumpy about the commitment, you're a little tired, maybe out of fresh ideas.

This is part of the process. I know from doing nanowrimo that a similar thing happens, although if I recall that is usually second week. And I think it may happen at different weeks for different people, at different points.

We all hit resistance.

The question is, do we meet the resistance and push on through, or do we let it stop us.

I would be interested in knowing what kind of resistance you all are confronting in your creative life, whether you are doing the challenge or not. Even if, perhaps especially if you WANT to do the challenge but have not been able to step up into it.

Where do you get held up, what are your reasons/excuses?
What are the stories playing over in your head that convince you not to pick up the brush or the computer or the violin or the stageplay or the clay or the... you get my question?
Why do you think you are not doing what you say you want to do?

Me... I think I'm lazy. I think there's more to it than laziness but I don't know what. If any of you all understand the psychology behind the lazy, I'd appreciate some insight. :)

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Beep Bop and Bop Beep

Flying Alien Says Happy Birthday, or Our Friend Beep Bop
016/100 in 100 Creative Challenge 6/16/09
Golden Fluid Acrylic on Moleskine Watercolor paper, 5x8"

Thinking about birthdays... my son's birthday is coming up, and we are having an early party for him before his father leaves on a trip.

I decided that I would paint him a picture, and all sorts of prompts came together into this painting. The IMT prompt of Child's Play, the totally optional Creative Everyday June prompt of sound, since this is a character from our bedtime story telling. And also, my first entry into the etsy bloggers group, whose biweekly theme is Birthdays.

He's asked for berry cake, ice cream cones, chicken nuggets, french fries and juice. Oh and presents.

And of course, what one child has, the other child must have, too, so I painted a companion piece. Beep Bop's sister Bop Beep, for Gabriel's sister Ivy.
Flying Alien Brings Ice Cream Cones, or Our Friend Bop Beep
017/100 in 100 Creative Challenge 6/16/09
Golden Fluid Acrylic on Moleskine Watercolor paper, 5x8"

I think I will tell a story where Beep Bop and Bop Beep come down from outers pace, and Gabriel and Ivy give them presents.... perhaps one gets a tshirt w a picture of a human boy, and one gets a green and purple tutu.

Tonight, instead of an alien story, I told a story about pirates and pirate ghosts. What can I say, it was an audience request.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Flying Girl Like a Child, or Yes to Life

Flying Girl Like a Child, or Yes to Life
015/100 in 100 Creative Challenge 6/15/09
Golden Fluid Acrylic on moleskine watercolor paper, 5x8"

Did I paint like a child? Probably not. But my intention was to do so. I was thinking about the way my son draws, but trying to combine it with the flying girl. It's an approximation. S says it reminds him of Francis Bacon, and I can see the similarities, but I would like to think that mine is not so nightmarish. I think I was influenced still by TST I saw red prompt. But also by Inspire Me Thursday Child Draw prompt. I don't know if it matters, but there is also gold in this painting, that you can't see in this picture.

It can be quite interesting to see what happens when you put two prompts together.

In fact, that can be the what makes creativity take off. I remember reading Orson Scott Card's website... probably his writing workshop... and in it, he said that his novels always start out with at least TWO instigating inspirations. Two separate and possibly clashing ideas that allow all sorts of tensions and connotations to grow within them.

What do you do to get that inspiration pop? Do you have any tricks or treats to turn your ideas into works of art?

How have you managed to keep your ideas flowing?

Flying Girl Through the Trees, or Red Knows the Way

Flying Girl Through the Trees, or Red Knows the Way
014/100 in 100 Creative Challenge, 6/14/09
Golden Fluid Acrylic

I like the Little Red Riding Hood Story.

Inspired by Thursday Sweet Treats prompt, "then I saw red," I saw red riding hood.

I thought about how she takes the trek and goes through the woods, facing danger... and yet, she is never afraid. Here's the wolf, and she is never afraid. Fine, she was a little naive, "my what big teeth you have..." but she was never afraid.

What strength does she have? Does she own the wildness? Does she own the wild woods inside of her?

And then there's the red riding hood, made just so that other people can keep track of her in her wanderings, her element. They don't want to lose her. But they don't stop her.

Maybe if we can learn to properly be aware of the dangers and arm ourselves against them, we won't be at the mercy of them... and truly will be the mistresses of our wilderness.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Wreck it baby, Wreck it.... no really

Been working on my journal. Painting messes, ripping pages... here I painted warm colors on the front and cool colors on the back before ripping. Then stapling the pages together. I'm not sure I like the way it turned out. I might wreck it some more.
Then the "lose this page" page. Somehow, I couldn't bear to just get rid of it. I wrote on the back the things that I wanted to release. Things like anger and resentment, or things that I no longer have but can't let go of for some reason. I tore the page out, took it out into the garden and got ready to burn it.
Oh yeah. Fire! Fire! heheheheh. Here you can see the flames licking through the list of things to let go of, releasing them into the air as carbon and oxygen. Bye bye things that keep me tied up.
Except in the end... this was what was left, what didn't burn. "The Loss."
I thought it looked cool and stuck it back in my journal...

Uh... I thought I was supposed to let it go?

I thought I was supposed to accept the loss. Why am I still holding onto it?

Hmmmmmm.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Flying Girl and the Ripple, or Hope Sounds

Flying Girl and the Ripple, or Hope Sounds
13/100 in 100 Creative Challenge, 6/13/09
Golden Fluid Acrylic and Prismacolor watercolor pencil on watercolor moleskine paper, 5x8"

Same technique as yesterday. Different pattern, color and concept.

It reminds me of new green leaves, the promise of Spring, awakening.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Flying Girl is Many People, or Sketch Faces Pattern

Flying Girl is Many People, or Sketch Faces Pattern
012/100 in 100 Creative Challenge, 6/12/09
Golden Fluid Acrylic and Prismacolor Watercolor Pencils on Moleskine Watercolor Paper, 5x8"

This is only two colors of paint and a sienna pencil. I like the interplay between paint and pencil, how it changes the color of the paint. I painted outside of the face sketches first, and then the inside, because I didn't want them to blend too much. I didn't want to paint over the drawing, I wanted to incorporate the drawing. So there are still edges. Still places where there is only pencil or only paper or only paint.

Is this creepy? The ghosty little half formed faces? I still like it.

Sometimes I feel like we are all made up of a million different people. A million different choices. A million different personalities. A million different answers.

Then we do something like paint pictures or write stories and those people show up. Made out of nothing but imagination and some paper.

Sometimes I am amazed that paintings I do today weren't there yesterday. They weren't just unformed, they didn't exist. It's not like they grew out of something else. They weren't anything.

Afterwards, sometimes, it feels like they have always been there. Like they are significant or familiar. Some gain in importance, some fade. My first flying girl was way back in 1992 in college. I did not know that she wasn't just an expression of my anxiety and excitement over my upcoming graduation from college. I did not know that she would reappear in various forms over the next 17 years. I didn't know that she would become significant again almost two decades later.

Where do these mysteries come from? Who are these mysterious selves we hold inside of us, and in what form will they show up next?

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Flying Girl Grid Pattern, or Experiment

Flying Girl Grid Pattern, or Experiment
11/100 in 100 creative challenge , 6/11/09
Golden Fluid Acrylic and Prismacolor Watercolor pencils on paper

This is more of my attempt to play. To just paint without all the significance. An experiment.

It is a lot more detail than I've been doing lately and took more time, too. But it wasn't heavy. It was more like each detail needed my attention. It was about the act of painting, not the act of conceptualizing.

Is it fun? I don't know if that's the word for it. It was pleasing. Painting is a sensory pleasure. It is pleasing to be able to focus down on a detail like this. And I didn't even focus too terribly tightly. I could have made the circles cleaner... but I was watching So You Think You Can Dance. :)

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Flying Girl is Filled with Light and Air, or Because Joy Is

Flying Girl is Filled with Light and Air, or Because Joy Is
010/100 in 100 Creative Challenge, 6/10/09
Golden Fluid Acrylic, watercolor pencil and pen on paper, 5x8"

This concept of just painting to paint is weird to me. Well, not weird, but not my normal way of doing things, so it might be a while before it comes naturally. I mean, I can paint what I see without making it mean something, just enjoying the way the paint goes on the paper or how colors fit against each other or shapes that echo others... but I don't know, maybe I'm just out of practice. Maybe I've become a different kind of artist.

Anyway, I said I was just going to paint and have fun, and I thought, what's more fun than polka dots? I wasn't even going to paint last night, I was so tired, but after a couple of hours of laying on the couch watching tv, I took my paints out anyway.

That's a good thing. I finished it this morning and afternoon.

The other thing I wanted to say is...

Woo hoo! Double digits!

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Flying Girl Through the Vines, or Green and Gold

Flying Girl Through the Vines, or Green and Gold
09/100 in 100 challenge, 6/9/09
Golden Fluid Acrylic and watercolor pencil on paper, 5x8"

I have no meaning for this one.

I had no ideas when I sat down, and then I thought, "why does it have to mean anything? why can't I just paint?"

So I did. And when what I was painting turned out ugly and blah, I painted it over with gold, because, heck, why not?

Why does everything have to be so significant, anyway? I have a tendency to be entirely to serious. I really liked yesterdays painting, but I had nothing for today, so I didn't force myself to stay in the vein of yesterdays.

Just paint.

I think I'd like to do more "just painting" without trying to be significant.

Just play?

Maybe tonight that will be my point. No stress. Just play.

Oh, and I'm being lazy today. S was on the computer all day taking care of some business, so I was relegated to the non internet world. I've been reading a book.

Reading a book! Not trying to get work done while the kids are pulling at me. Just reading. And nothing all that significant. Just a fun book that I've read before.

I feel so indulgent.

Monday, June 08, 2009

Flying Girl Growing in the Shade or Under Glass

Flying Girl Growing in the Shade or Under Glass
008/100 in 100 days Challenge 06/08/09
Golden Acrylics on paper, 5x8"

This is not what she looked like in my sketch. In the sketch, I imagined FG inside of a terrarium. But when it came time to paint, I did not want anything that complicated or elaborate. So I just painted her with the fern background and thought maybe a mushroom pattern on the dress... but when I got ready to paint, the green brown of the background put me in mind of moss, and I wanted moss in there. And then I thought, why no! Flying Girl IS the terrarium, the enclosed ecosystem that lets the mushrooms and moss grow.

So here's what ended up being. I like it.

I didn't like it to start. It just seemed ugly and clunky with the dingy brown/green and the not quite light blue.

But what I am finding as I continue on in this 100 in 100 challenge, is that I don't need to consider each painting to be precious and fragile. There is not so much weight to each painting if I am painting every day. If I mess up a painting, so what? I just move on to the next one and see what happens.

This is the way breakthroughs occur, I think. For me at least... when I've screwed something up and don't have anything to lose, when I trust that something good will come, if not this time, then next, when I try something risky no matter how I am afraid of failure.

Maybe also Wreck This Journal might help me continue this risk taking. I'm doing it with the Next Chapter book club


I've been futzing around with the book here and there, and this is the first page where I've gone bacack and tried to "do" something with the futzing. My coffee spilled... always a danger when you have toddlers/preschoolers jumping around you and your tv table "desk." So when the kids jostled the table, I set the cup down into the spill, and then made coffee rings on the page. Then when it happened again the next day, I used my paintbrush... which was out from a painting session... and painted the words into the coffee rings.

Yesterday, I outlined it all. Don't know why I did. I guess I liked the patterns that came out in the rings and wanted to hi-light it.
I like the way it looks here. And I like how the coffee spills almost remind me of a big old live oak tree, rich with shadows and light and hanging spanish moss and vines.

I wonder if I can work that idea into my 100 days paintings? Hmmm. I also like the neutral colors of tan and cream and the black pen. Hmmm. Or what about the shape of shadowy leaves against the bright sky? Hmmm.

Stay tuned.

Oh, and I finally got the side bar of 100 in 100 participants up. If you don't want your name up there, tell me. I thought I'd removed someone already, but I see it's still there. I must not have saved it. Or if you're not up there and want to be, tell me. I had a hard time with knowing whether or not people really wanted to jump in, or which blog they wanted.

Or if you're afraid to start, or want to but are worried that you can't join because you haven't been there from the beginning... please, join anyway. There is no one who is going to harangue you for not creating. There is no way to "fail" this challenge. Jump in. Adapt it to your needs.
Be brave.

Let me tell you... it gets easier the more you do it.

Flying Girl Listens to the Music, or Heartbeat

Flying Girl Listens to the Music, or Heartbeat
07/100 in 100 Challenge, 06/07/09
Acrylic on Paper, 5x8"

Saturday, June 06, 2009

Flying Girl Makes a Wish, or First Star

Flying Girl Makes a Wish, or First Star
006/100 in 100 Days Creative Challenge, 06/06/09
Golden Fluid Acrylic on Moleskine paper, 5x8"

Make wish.

Move forward.

Friday, June 05, 2009

Flying Girl in the Waves, or Go With The Flow

Flying Girl in the Waves, or Go With The Flow
005/100 in 100 Creative Challenge, 6/5/09
Golden Fluid Acrylic and watercolor pencils on Moleskine paper, 5x8"

I am running behind myself.

But look how I kept going with the flow from yesterday... and the day before, really if you think about it. The water theme+green color+patter+ gold (which is actually bronze, it was the first color I pulled) all came together in this one.

I didn't really try to make it mean anything. I didn't really go into painting it with an intention. I just went with it.

And it just flowed on it's own. Yay.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Flying Girl Learns to Be in the Moment, or Live the Life You Have

Flying Girl Learns to Be in the Moment, or Live the Life You Have
004/100 in 100 Challenge, 6/4/09
Golden Fluid Acrylic and Pen on Moleskine paper, 5x8

Sometimes life laughs at you.

Sometimes it turns out completely different from the way you thought it would. Different from what you are comfortable with.

Sometimes life is challenging. Sometimes it places just the obstacles in front of you that you need to conquer in order to learn and grow and reach your dreams.

Damn Life.

We are not amused.

Let me tell you about this painting.

Again, sitting down to watch So You Think You Can Dance last night, I had no ideas for painting in my head. So I thought I'd do the little trick I do in such cases, where I pull blindly some paints from my bag.

The first paint?

Gold. Metallic gold.

Eek I thought, because gold does not reproduce well in photos or prints. But, hey, I actually like to paint with it so, I decided I'd take up the challenge.

2nd paint?

Cadmium Yellow Medium. With gold???? Nuh uh, I thought. No way. Clashy city. I wouldn't. So I put it back and dug in once more. Guess what I got?

Yellow. Again. I decided to not fight the color lottery, and instead go with it, although I could not conceive of what I might paint with gold and yellow, maybe the following colors would mitigate it.

Let me list the colors in order of the draw.

Metallic Gold,
Cad Yellow
Naples Yellow.
Primary Magenta.

and, wait for it....

Quinacridone Violet.

Holy moly. These are emphatically not my colors. I took out a dark (burnt umber) and a light (titan buff) to mitigate what I thought would be a disaster.

An image of a circle in square pattern came into my mind. I thought the colors could work, perhaps on a small scale pattern on the dress. But I imagined the background just the dark of the umber, with a red underpainting. There's no picture, but that was butt ugly. No offense to butts.

This morning I showed my kids what I had. They gave it the thumbs down. I said, forget it, it's not working, I'll just make the whole thing gold, and gave it a gold background over the dark. As I was painting, I though, hmm... that pattern is still the most interesting thing about this piece, so why not accept it for what it is. Accept the colors I pulled. Accept the weirdness of it... sometimes reminding me of a wall of lights and sometimes reminding me of boobies (I said it was weird). I decided to continue the pattern on the background, only slightly larger and slightly simpler.

And all of a sudden the whole thing went POP!

A little Broadway looking, a little Klimt, a little religious icon, and a lot of zoom.

This painting is out of my element. This painting was a stretch and a struggle. This painting was me allowing myself to be uncomfortable. Allowing my work to be ugly. Taking chances with scary things.

I'm going to take this also as a lesson in life. A lesson about struggle and risk and allowing things to be imperfect and hard. I'm going to believe that if I keep working at it, there will be a moment when life itself goes POP and becomes something bigger than expectations.

I don't know what it means to me as an artist, if I will continue in this direction or smush around a little. I do seem to be drawn towards patterns lately. And perhaps I am inching towards the gold and metallic again (I used to use them more). I don't know what's going on.

It's quite the adventure, quite the challenge.

Just like life.

And it turns out it's good that way.


PS I have taken a break from listing items in my shop, as I realized I was a little over my head with trying to be a full time artist and a full time mom, but I will resume in a little while. And this painting is going to have to be sold as an original, because I will not sell prints of something that does not print well (as metallic gold does NOT.) I'll post when I do a listing.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Flying Girl Adapts to New Worlds, or Fish Lessons

Flying Girl Adapts to New Worlds, or Fish Lessons
003/100 in 100 06/03/09
Golden Fluid Acrylics, Prismacolor Watercolor Pencils on Moleskine paper, 5x8"

I like this one. I don't know if you can tell, but her dress is a green tinted silver, actually like fish scales. I imagine that she has transformed from her sea going fish self into a girl, getting ready to walk around on the land.

Interestingly, this is my second flying girl painting where fishes give lessons. I do not know what that is about.

But I do know that the idea comes from the Illustration Friday prompt, "adapt" which was not enough to give me an idea, so I took a prompt from my 100 in 100 word prompts and combined the two prompts for my picture. Those prompts are coming in handy for me. I will start the tiles so that any who want a set can have their own.

Another thing I wanted to bring up is related to adaptation.

As we begin this creative journey, we are learning our way as we go. I had an email from a 100er (does that nick name work? mmm maybe not) and she told me she had started her creating, but did not have things together yet to post to her blog. Just like I don't quite have it together yet to get the side bar up. Sorry about that.

But it's not about being sorry, actually. It's about creating your life to feed into your creative habit. It's going to take a while to find the timing and details that will make it all come smoothly. It's going to take experimentation with different schedules. We will discover our best times to create. We will discover the things that enable us to capture our ideas, or the things that get the inspiration flowing. We will discover the difficulties that get in our way. Perhaps we will discover that we need to declare ourselves artists, carve out time for our own work in an already full day, or learn to say no to other people so they, and we, can take our creativity seriously.

The thing we should recognize right now is that we don't need to know any of it. Not right now. We don't need to be at the end of the journey at the beginning of it. We don't need to have it all figured out when we first ask the questions. We don't need to know it all when we first start our inquiry... in fact, if we think we already know what it should be, we won't be as open to what it actually is.

We want to be unsure. We want to be scared. We want to say, who knows?

It's exciting.

Who will you be when you allow yourself to create as a matter of course. What fears will you face down? What burdens will you lay down? What hills will you climb up. What heights will you reach for?

Ooooh. Goosebumps.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Flying Girl Through the Storm, or In Every Life Some Rain Must Fall

Flying Girl Through the Storm, or In Every Life Some Rain Must Fall
#002 out of 100 in 100. 06/02/09
Golden and Sarkana Fluid Acrylics, Pitt Artist Pens

Some interesting things about process for painting #2:

I had no idea what to do when I sat down to paint, so I picked a prompt from my preliminary 100 prompts that I've been working on. The word was RAINDROP. That began the idea journey. Yay for prompts. They get me out of trouble when my brain is empty. Sometimes.

The background was originally yellow, but I was not happy with that. So this morning, I woke up and turned it blue/gray.

The blue/gray paint is one of the last jars of acrylic that I bought from a local handmade paint store that used to be in my old neighborhood before gentrification forced first the store, and then me out. (pardon my prickles about gentrification.)

The background pattern is also the reworking of an old painting. An early flying girl used the pitt artist pen and sheer acrylic to make the droplet rings. I always liked the effect and wanted to try it again, but never got around to it, until now. I like the idea of reworking old ideas, actually. I might try it more often.

Yesterday, I spent about a half hour pacing around the house, trying to figure out what I was supposed to be doing. I could have sat down and read or watched tv or worked on a sudoku puzzle, but I paced, filled with nervous energy. It wasn't until today that I realized that pacing was because my desire to be productive was coming back... but my organization and To Do list was still lagging behind. That's good, because now I know I can work on that, figure out what I need to do... and also, my slump is breaking.

I still need to remember to have fun with my painting. Get rid of perfectionism. Still expecting too much. Still almost ANGRY with myself. Why? Hmm. Interesting question.


How is your project going? How is your process?

To read the rules and to officially join the 100 in 100 Creativity Challenge, leave your name and link here.

Monday, June 01, 2009

100 in 100 Challenge Officially Begins

Flying Girl out of Chaos and into the Light, or A Beginning
6/1/09
Golden Fluid Acrylics and watercolor pencil on Moleskine paper 5x8"

I must report, dear friends, that I am experiencing quite a bit of resistance already.

I did my painting last night (the night before counts as my day, since I don't get to do much doing the day with the kids running around-- that's one of the ways I break my rules to fit my life) and couldn't bear to finish it. So I finished it this morning. I didn't want to do any prep work on my blog this weekend, getting the side bar up and ready for the project. I didn't even want to post this entry.

Sigh.

Always before, when I've started big projects, I get excited and jump out of the gate ready to go, speeding along until week 2 or so. This time, perhaps I already know what this kind of challenge will be like, and I am not as excited. But on the plus side, I do kind of like the painting I did.

Or perhaps it's a function of using this challenge to kick myself in the rear end and get painting again. I am already in a slump and trying to climb out of it, instead of storing up my energy for a couple of weeks before beginning, as I do when I start nanowrimo in November.

But I did it. I showed up to the paper and I showed up to the blog. I suppose I personally am going to try to post everyday on the blog, but that is not the goal, so if I only post a painting without text sometimes, or post two paintings on one entry and skip a day, then so be it.

I do want to be here for you guys riding along, though. Especially on this first day.

I have some ideas for supporting folks in their personal challenges. Let me tell you what I'm thinking and you can tell me if you like these ideas.

* I'm thinking of creating some prompt tiles. 100 of them. Kind of like things you would find on one of the creative challenge sites/blogs, but rather than going to the site, you would just pull them out of a jar or bag. Some of you might have seen my tiles already. I think a 100 days set would be cool. Any time you were wanting for inspiration you could just pull one of the tiles and go from there. I'd sell them in my etsy shop, so you could have your own set with instructions and perhaps some exercises for creativity.

*Another thing I'm thinking of creating for the 100 in 100 Challenge is a log sheet so that we can keep track of what we accomplish, ideas for projects, steps we have taken, fears we have confronted, places we would like to go. This also could be for sale in my shop. It would be hand drawn and illustrated, because I like to track things and make charts and doodle. I'm just like that.

* I'm also thinking of setting up a ning community so people could congregate and ask for help or share their processes or successes or struggles. Or just jibber jabber. Sometimes a bit of jibber jabber breaks the stuck free.

*Also, if anyone gets stuck in their project and wants some advice, you can email me at rowena (dot) murillo (at) gmail (dot) com, and I will try to help. Or if you just want to chat, for that matter.

*oh, and this isn't really an idea, more a request. I have a list of ten or so names of people who'd like to join along, but some people I'm not so sure they're ready to commit, and some people I'm not quite sure which blog they'd like me to link to on my side bar.... so, this is the official post for those who want to take up the 100 in 100 challenge. Leave the name you want to go by and a link to the blog you want attached to the project. Right here. Or email me, I suppose.

As part of the officialness-- Here are the Official Rules:

100 in 100 Challenge

I do hereby accept the challenge of 100 in 100. I will attempt to create 100 (enter your choice of creative something) in 100 days to the best of my ability.

I will create a system that works for my creativity in my life. My 100 in 100 challenge will support my own personal creative goals, whether that is to have a body of finished work or to discover my media or to practice my craft or to explore the inner workings of my soul or to just live a creative life, whatever that might mean to me.

I will keep track of my 100 in 100 project in some form, whether online or in real life. Just so that I can document the journey, witness where I began, and recognize how far I will have come by the end of the project. No one else has to see my documentation unless I want to share my projects. But I am also free to share every last creation if that is what I want.

I will have fun! Because creating is fun! This is play! But at the same time, I will be on the look out for the fears and demons that might try to stop me from creating, and I will dismiss/destroy/ignore/conquer said demons so that I may continue the real fun of my creation.

Finally and most importantly, I hereby promise to break any and all of the above mentioned rules and any self imposed expectations if they get in the way of my creativity, because the point of the 100 in 100 project is not to follow the rules or win some award or even actually create 100 things in 100 days, but is in fact to expand and explore my own creativity and encourage growth in myself.

I do solemnly swear to give it a try.

(If this sounds good to you, leave your name and blog link, and anything you'd like to add or subtract from the rules in the comments. Really, it's your project.)

for more thoughts on beginning this challenge, look here and here.

Okay! Fun Time Proceed! How are YOU doing?

The Official Rules of the 100 in 100 Creative Challenge

100 in 100 Challenge

I do hereby accept the challenge of 100 in 100. I will attempt to create 100 (enter your choice of creative something) in 100 days to the best of my ability.

I will create a system that works for my creativity in my life. My 100 in 100 challenge will support my own personal creative goals, whether that is to have a body of finished work or to discover my media or to practice my craft or to explore the inner workings of my soul or to just live a creative life, whatever that might mean to me.

I will keep track of my 100 in 100 project in some form, whether online or in real life. Just so that I can document the journey, witness where I began, and recognize how far I will have come by the end of the project. No one else has to see my documentation unless I want to share my projects. But I am also free to share every last creation if that is what I want.

I will have fun! Because creating is fun! This is play! But at the same time, I will be on the look out for the fears and demons that might try to stop me from creating, and I will dismiss/destroy/ignore/conquer said demons so that I may continue the real fun of my creation.

Finally and most importantly, I hereby promise to break any and all of the above mentioned rules and any self imposed expectations if they get in the way of my creativity, because the point of the 100 in 100 project is not to follow the rules or win some award or even actually create 100 things in 100 days, but is in fact to expand and explore my own creativity and encourage growth in myself.

I do solemnly swear to give it a try.

(If this sounds good to you, leave your name and blog link, and anything you'd like to add or subtract from the rules in the comments. Really, it's your project.)

for more thoughts on beginning this challenge, look here and here.
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