Flying Girl Through the Storm, or In Every Life Some Rain Must Fall#002 out of 100 in 100. 06/02/09
Golden and Sarkana Fluid Acrylics, Pitt Artist Pens
Some interesting things about process for painting #2:
I had no idea what to do when I sat down to paint, so I picked a prompt from my preliminary 100 prompts that I've been working on. The word was RAINDROP. That began the idea journey. Yay for prompts. They get me out of trouble when my brain is empty. Sometimes.
The background was originally yellow, but I was not happy with that. So this morning, I woke up and turned it blue/gray.
The blue/gray paint is one of the last jars of acrylic that I bought from a local handmade paint store that used to be in my old neighborhood before gentrification forced first the store, and then me out. (pardon my prickles about gentrification.)
The background pattern is also the reworking of an old painting. An early flying girl used the pitt artist pen and sheer acrylic to make the droplet rings. I always liked the effect and wanted to try it again, but never got around to it, until now. I like the idea of reworking old ideas, actually. I might try it more often.
Yesterday, I spent about a half hour pacing around the house, trying to figure out what I was supposed to be doing. I could have sat down and read or watched tv or worked on a sudoku puzzle, but I paced, filled with nervous energy. It wasn't until today that I realized that pacing was because my desire to be productive was coming back... but my organization and To Do list was still lagging behind. That's good, because now I know I can work on that, figure out what I need to do... and also, my slump is breaking.
I still need to remember to have fun with my painting. Get rid of perfectionism. Still expecting too much. Still almost ANGRY with myself. Why? Hmm. Interesting question.
How is your project going? How is your process?
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5 comments:
My ears perked up when you said you were almost angry with yourself. Glad I'm not the only one. Mine feels like irritable something syndrome. Twitchiness. I know I am exiting a comfort zone and I kinda sorta do not want to and yet I kinda sorta want to, MORE.
Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by Anais Nin: And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Yeah, I know that quote. And what is with the pissed offness? Maybe it's our little selves getting angry at us for trying to become our bigger selves. A temper tantrum?
I am suggesting being kind to ourselves. Allowing ourselves to NOT be take charge and 100% inspired and, ahem, lazy.
I think it will come as we take our steps day by day.
IT's a crazy process, and it keeps going.
Hmmmmm . . . "our little selves getting angry . . " and how often have I heard that anger is almost always a masking emotion? I think my little self just told me that actually, she was scared, and that's why she's been pissy . . . so I'm gonna lift her onto my lap and wrap my arms around her/me/her/us.
Maybe perfectionism is like alcoholism. You're never "cured." You manage the disease and try to have someone to help pick you up when you fall off the wagon.
Ditto to all of the above regarding anger and perfectionism. I have been looking at the picture I did yesterday and seeing all the things wrong with it then getting that feeling in my stomach and starting to beat myself up because it's so bad and why would I show it to anyone. Then I remembered the quote, "if you want to be an artist you have to be willing to do bad art". I think it is by Julia Cameron. This made me feel better - not everything I create will be good. I felt myself relaxing a little.
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