It’s time to do this. It’s time to pay attention to what is great about my life, instead of what I don’t have enough of.
Everything has changed so much in the last two years. My life has seemed to spiral off into a different direction than it was going before. It feels a bit out of my control, as if it has all happened to me without any active participation on my part. I have a tendency to focus on “fixing” the things that are wrong, so I look around my life, and all I see are the messes, the lack of time or money or attention. I worry about not going anywhere with my art and my career. I worry about not getting what I want out of life.
It’s definitely time to switch all that negative energy into positive. Like draws like. If all I see is lack, I don’t know how I can ever be fulfilled. However, if I look around and see abundance, that will open life up for more abundance. It’s all mindset. I want my positive mindset back.
1. Gabriel’s eyes—They are large and almond shaped, with long eyelashes. And they are such an unusual color, a ring of midnight blue on the outside, a gray/blue/turquoise in the center, and a ring of yellow/green inside that. Depending on the day, the light, and what he is wearing, his eyes are gray or blue or green—or some combination of those colors.
2. Writing again—it’s such a relief to have my creativity come back. It’s a relief to have ideas again. It’s a relief to be productive. It’s relief to have that motivating passion. Just one big “phew!” and a load off my shoulders.
3. Being held by Sean—it just makes me feel safe and loved.
4. The plants in the front window—I enjoy looking up and seeing the light filter through the green leaves. Plants make a house feel like home.
5. Gabriel when he laughs—there is something that is just so pure about a baby’s laughter. It touches something outside of the everyday. It’s like the true nature of being human, or of god.
6. Me Laughing with Gabriel—I don’t know when I belly laughed as much before Gabriel came along. Adults don’t go off into giggle fits like kids. Adults aren’t amazed and entertained by so many things. It’s beautiful to get that back.
7. A nice, hot shower, without worrying about Gabriel waking up, or “hearing” his cry in the water going down the drain, or the exhaust fan, or the cat meowing—self explanatory, no?
8. Oatmeal with brown sugar and bananas!—I just had this yesterday and was surprised at how tasty it was.
9. New episodes of “Lost” on TV—lame, maybe, but for an hour, I get sucked into a Pacific mystery adventure. And the baby’s asleep by then, too.
10. Making the bed—Who knew? First of all, it makes me feel like I’ve done something. Like I have something under control. And then it also looks like a blank slate whenever I walk in my bedroom. There’s a place to rest my eyes without chaos or piles of clothes/papers/books.
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