Friday, April 28, 2006

Easiest Peasiest

I got a library card. It was so much easier than I even thought. I kept imagining things that would get in the way. Maybe I’d need a utility bill as proof of address. Maybe someone would have used my card and built up fines. Maybe the stroller would be too difficult to get up the stairs… maybe, maybe, maybe.

It turns out that i went in, showed an ID, the librarian punched some numbers into the computer, I signed the card, and that was it. Wow. Didn’t even have to wait two weeks for the card to come in the mail.

I think I always imagine things to be more difficult than they actually are. Sometimes that imagining stops me from trying, or from persevering. And then I do not achieve the things I want to achieve.

It may be time to give up the life philosophy I picked when I was 13: Hope for the best, but expect the worst.

I lived that to save myself from heartbreak and disappointment, but I think it sometimes turned into a self fulfilling prophecy. Expecting the worst, all the time—it was as if I didn’t deserve to get the best, didn’t deserve to get what I wished for.

Definitely time for a new philosophy.

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