It's after seven pm and Gabriel has gone down to sleep. No afternoon nap, because he no longer sleeps if he is in the stroller. Too much to see! Too much to see!
I am off duty. Phew. Still on-call, of course, but off duty. Sean won't be home until late, because he's taken on some extra shifts for the money, so it's all me. We can only hope the boy won't wake up.
So, it's time to jump back in to the writing. I've been sick with a pretty bad cold, and have nothing left for creating or even thinking, particularly after taking care of the baby. I was on such a good roll not too long ago, and then I got sick, and didn't care to push myself through the icky feelings and cotton stuffed brain.
I've been trying to figure out what is the balance between allowing myself the imperfection of not always being on top of everything-- and keeping my determination and commitment to my goals. Is it okay to take a few days off because you're sick, or because there are family commitments? Or should I be vigilant in keeping my writing priorities high?
I guess the balance I have come up with is to allow myself some days of not writing, to allow myself to take care of myself, or other responsibilities, or even to be sick and lazy, while at the same time keeping track of that slack, and not allowing the inactivity to take over.
It would be really easy to NOT write right now. Not in the blog, or the journal, or the story ideas. It would be easy to sit down in front of the tv with something to eat and just veg. Normally, that's what I do. Evening hours are my decompression hours-- but it's been so long since I haven't written, that I feel I need to work.
Work on top of work. Oh, well. That's what I want. I wanted kids, and I still want to be a writer.