How To Get Creative 1-25, and Work In Progress

Work In Progress (dream catcher)
acrylic on paper
8.5x11

After a life of being creative, I think I've learned a few things. One of those things is that we are always starting over. We're always going through endings. We're always going through transformation. And we're always beginning again.

This is the process. Fighting it doesn't help, it just makes us feel guilty. Trusting the process means that we believe things will turn around, eventually. It gives us hope.

So in this period of starting over again (where did my creativity go? where?) I am going to make a list.  I like lists.

How To Get Creative

1. Start something.
2. Turn on the music and dance.
3. Take a camera and go take pictures of something.
4. Read an old journal.
5. Go to a museum or gallery or show or concert.
6. Talk to someone creative.
7. Watch a documentary about something you care about.
8. Divide a page into four sections. Fill each section with a different drawing, painting, poem, story, song.
9. Sing a song.
10. Play with clay. Create a tiny sculpture. Display it proudly.
11. Take out your old portfolio, mss, tapes, or other creative work, and look at it as if you'd never seen it before.
12. Climb a tree. Take a minute and pay attention to the view from up there.
13. Climb under a table. Take a minute and pay attention to the view from down there.
14. Cry unashamedly.
15. Take a shower and plan a great story/painting/dance routine/song while the water is running.
17. Freewrite in your journal for fifteen minuets without stopping.
18. Make something with a child.
19. Read your favorite author.
20. Write out 100 great words on little slips of paper. Fold the words and put them in a jar. Shake and pull a word or two. Create something based on those words.
21. Make a commitment to create something every day for one week, no matter how small.
22. Set an alarm for 15 minutes and be creative until that alarm goes off, no excuses and no stopping.
23. Join a class, group, workshop, community, blog party, organization, etc of like minded, creative beings.
24. Clean up your creative space.
25. Write a list of ways to be creative.

Seeing that I like lists, and since this is a process and there are a million ways to be creative, I just might come back and add to this list.

Add a comment and share your tricks to getting your creative juices flowing.

Life Rules

Life Rules
pen and paper

The other day I was browsing pinterest and stumbled upon some nice handwritten life rules. I didn't pin it because.... I don't know why, and now I can't find it, but it must have stuck with me, because I took out my journal and wrote up my own life rules.

These are the essence of some of the things I have learned over the course of my life. Much of it is about being creative, but frankly, I think it goes for everything. These are the things I have to learn over and over again, the things that get me somewhere and the things I have to remember when I am lost.

But on the plus side, none of these things are terribly hard things, they take a bit of practice and a bit of faith.

This is about living. This is about getting through. This is about enjoying your life. This is about being on the journey with your whole heart.

If I thought about it for a long time, I could probably come up with even more. But this is what fills the page and I am satisfied. So here she is.  Rowena's life rules.

What would your life rules be? It helps to see them written down.

Fawn paper doll and Cultivating Creativity in Gentleness

Fawn paper doll, with mushroom

Sometimes, I feel like I am chasing inspiration, chasing down my aspirations, hunting them through the woods.

And I'm making a lot of noise, crashing through the woods with my clumsy intentions.

My inspiration runs off, faster than I can keep up, and disappears into the shadows, just a tease of an idea, a flash of white tail and what I want to do.

In the almost 40 years that I have been pursuing my creativity, I am still learning how this all works. There's no equation for it all.

Perhaps I should take my metaphor father, though. Perhaps instead of chasing after inspiration, I need to do more sitting quietly, hidden in the camouflage of my life, and wait for it to come to me.

Yes, I know I do. Sigh. Moms with little kids don't get to do much sitting quietly.

Yesterday I had so many ideas and so many intentions they were all crowding for attention. I made lists and ran around from one idea to the next, running around also taking care of my daughter and getting ready for work. Honestly, I almost forgot I had to go to work, so wrapped up was I. Then I went to work with the same amount of nervous energy, and was unable to do anything practical with it. I tried to stay away from more coffee, let's just say that.

Perhaps also what I'm chasing is not something outside of me. Perhaps it is inside of me, that creativity, that center of calm or that energetic intention. Perhaps I need to be gentle with myself through this process. Perhaps we all do. Perhaps we need to cultivate our selves, our creativity and our souls with a measure of gentleness, care, and feeding. Provide for our creative selves, offer safety, calm and sustenance, and instead of having to hunt down inspiration, it will come to us.

With that in mind, what are some ways that we can cultivate our creativity.

1. Provide time where we can be silent with our thoughts, dreams, visions, experiences, etc. In other words, stare out the window time, futz with our supplies time, do nothing and just exist time.

2. Provide space where creating is encouraged. A desk. A basement study. A corner in the bedroom set up for writing. A dining room turned into an art studio. Tell your creativity that this is the space reserved for it, and it is welcome to come.

3. Provide food for creativity. Read great books, fiction and non fiction. Watch films that engage you. Play music that fills you with energy. Look at art that makes you want to pick up a paintbrush.

4. Husband your physical well being. Eat well. Sleep enough. Get out and exercise. Organize your physical space. Declutter.

5. Provide the supplies that you need to create. Gather them so that they are available to you when you need them.

6. Set up regular time to be creative. Yes, inspiration is fleeting, but give it a comforting routine, a safety in the knowledge that it is welcome and will be fed, and it will come.


These are ways to cultivate our creativity in gentleness and positivity. And then we actually have to sit down and do. DO. Write. Paint. Compose. Cook. Whatever your creativity demands. Don't forget the do. It is good to be gentle with ourselves in order to reach our goals, but we can't get there without taking action.

What are some ways that you have for cultivating your own creativity, luring it to come to you?

Let it Go and love, or Some Thoughts on Being Zen

Let It Go, and love
watercolor, ink, gel pen on paper

One of the things I have never quite managed to figure out is the practice of non attachment. The idea is that we don't hang onto our ideas of the way things should be, what we think we need, our desires.

I know some people have said that this would be bad because it would mean we have no ambition, no desire to change things for the better, it would be settling, but I don't really think that's what it means.

I think, although I'm by no means sure, that the concept of non attachment means we don't fixate on having our specific ideas come true. It's about accepting what is, about living in the present and the world that you are actually living in.

It doesn't mean that you can't work to improve things or WANT things. It's more like standing where you are and saying, "I am here," and having that be good. And being able to move, from where you really are, with all the tools you have at your disposal, to where you are going next, without ideas of what you SHOULD be doing or who you SHOULD be.

How do we stop fixating on what we think we SHOULD be? How do we let go of our ideas of what things SHOULD be like?

I'm still working on it, but I've worked up a few things.

1. Be who you are. Stop comparing yourself to other people. Someone will always have something you don't. Someone will always be better at something. You will always look to see where you are lacking in comparison. So stop it. They are them. You are you. Every life has struggles and every life has joys.

2. Pay attention to the positives. Stop focusing on the negatives in your life. Don't obsess over what you haven't achieved, what you don't have, what is wrong with you or your life. I know it's hard, when you feel like you should be fixing all these things that feel broken, but just think of all that energy you are giving to these negative feelings. Look instead at what you do have. Pay attention to that. Feed the positives in your life and they will grow. Look for the love. You'll find it.

3. Don't idealize things. Your idea of something you want may turn out to be a lot harder and more complicated and uglier than you first imagined. Like for instance, I thought this little post with the little illustration would be a lot easier than it's turning out to be. Hey, what could be easier, right? Let it go. Don't obsess. Focus on the love, right? But no, it led into non attachment, one of the most difficult Buddhist philosophies, which I have, honestly, been trying to figure out for 25 years, which of course, leads me to confusion and struggle. But maybe that also what it's about.

4. Don't over complicate things.  Am I making it more complicated than I need to? It just is what it is, right? Let it go means let it go. Don't fuss over getting it just right, allow it to be what it is. Don't add on what ifs. Don't try to make something that will stun the world with your genius. Don't over think it. Simplicity is often the key.

5. Accept it for what it is. Whatever it is. We're flawed. Period. We fall down. We make mistakes. We don't live up to our expectations. Even if we'd like to change things, where we are is still where we are. We can only be here, we can only change things from where we are, with the tools we have at our disposal.  We can only be who we are.

6. Let it go. Don't hold on to those fears and angers and upsets and pains and disappointments. Allow them, yes. Feel them, yes. Recognize that feeling the sad things does not mean that they will take over. You are strong enough to get through sad feelings, but they are part of life. So feel them, then let it go.

7. Say 'Yes' to life. When you hold on to all those negative things and feelings and shoulds, we close ourselves off to what is really out there. This is the "and love" part of the post, I think. Love is about yes, isn't it? It's about saying, 'yes, I see your beauty,' or 'yes, I see the possibility.' 'Yes, I will give you my time.' or 'Yes, I will risk being vulnerable to you."

I'm going to have to leave it at lucky seven. I am surprised at how much this supposedly quick post got me thinking. The funny thing, is that I had a more involved craft post that I thought would be too hard, but now I think it would have been a lot easier. 

What do you think of the idea of non attachment? How do you practice letting go? How do you love and accept an imperfect world and imperfect people for what they are?

Take Stock and Feed Your Creativity

 Flying Bird Felt Medallion Charm/Book Mark

I spent the other day not being as creative as I wanted.... but I was busy the whole day doing things related to creativity. Yes, I did finish up this book mar charm that I was sending out with a package, but I need to confess that I didn't "make" it. Well, yes I did, but I made it a couple years ago. You see, I have this whole bunch of projects that I've started and never done anything with, never finished, never figured out where I should go with them.

One of the things I did was to find all of those incomplete medallions and felt scraps and put them into my felt scraps and projects box. I don't know why this little collection pleases my crafty self so much. Perhaps it's seeing all those little circles of many colors. Or looking back at projects I've put energy into, like that beetle medallion. 

 I was also sorting through the kids' big toy box when I found some stray piece of costume jewelry that no one ever used and I took it apart and separated the beads. I particularly liked the silver beads and thought they'd make a good bracelet some day. And the black beads will be great if I make any small stuffed animals or dolls... which is always a distinct possibility.

And then, when I was looking for my sewing box so that I could finish up that bird medallion, I decided it was time to transfer my sewing materials from the cookie tin I'd been using to this actual sewing box, which I'd found in a thrift store. I detangled all the thread and dug all the little needles and pins out of the cracks of the box with a magnet.Organizing that also made me feel satisfied. Although I think I'd like to do something to the amber plastic... does any one know some way to upcycle that plain old plastic? The form fits my needs, but the color is not my color. *frownie face*

 I even sorted and collected all these little paperclay doodads that I made and never did anything with. I still don't know what I am going to do with them, but I think having them available to me and being able to look at them and wonder helps.

The Harry Potter Experience: G's Birthday 7th ed.

I also organized my thoughts and ideas for my son's upcoming birthday party. He really wants a Harry Potter party, so aside from searching through Pinterest, I have started to write out notes of things that I think would work well, not be too labor intensive, and are crafty and inexpensive. The more I started listing things down here, the more things I thought of, and then while I was bustling about organizing and sorting my crafty stuff, I got more ideas, since my brain was already in creative mode, and looking at the stuff I had sparked ideas for new projects.

It's surprising how much of creating is connected to organizing, planning, thinking, day dreaming, reading, listening, living, staring out the window, sorting, cleaning, etc.

It's a phase that is part of the creative process. Taking stock, I suppose you might call it. Holding those supplies in your hands. Deciding where everything goes. What you might do with them. What things please you and what things need to be recycled into something else.

And in other ways, too. We take stock of ourselves. Who am I? What do I like? Where do I want to go? What is important to me?

In a way, being creative is about choosing. We choose what we want to spend our time with. We choose whether to use this color combination or that one. We choose the medium. We choose the mood. Taking stock of ourselves and our materials and our thoughts helps us to make the right choices in our creating.

Yay. Organizing is not just fun and satisfying, it also has a purpose in the larger scheme of thing.

Think of ways that you can organize your thoughts, your home and your supplies to inform you creativity. What do you need to take stock of so that you can feed your creativity?

New and Improved Creativity Log, Now with Bravery!

 A New Improved Creativity Log (blank)

I'm really trying to get organized and be productive again. It's quite the process and often doesn't look like it's going anywhere in all the business of every day life... until it does, and you realize you've finished huge projects and pulled your life back together and taken major steps on the journey to your dreams.

I realized something about how far along I am right now in my creative process when I found this post in the random search of my archives. That post was about wanting to be creative, but still being quiet and still...being fallow. Which can feel awful when you really really want to be doing stuff and making stuff, but is often a necessary phase in being creative. But if you keep at it and keep trying and continue to have faith in yourself and your creative process, then you do ultimately start moving.

I am right now in the motion phase of my creative journey. What a relief after standing still for so long. I'm not going as fast or as far as I want to yet, but I am picking up speed.

One of the things I'm doing to keep up my momentum and take stock of what I actually am doing is to go back to keeping a creativity log. I've written about it before, but I've decided to make some improvements.

The planner is a place where I can keep track of what I have done that day. We all know about to do lists and how gratifying it is to cross stuff off, but it is very easy for us to forget everything we are doing that never got onto the list, small things, or unexpected things, or every day things that have a big impact on your day and your creativity. That's why I keep my log. And I break it down into categories because it is so easy for me to lose my balance and focus too much on one area, all my attention might go to my kids, or I might be obsessed with painting or I might completely forget that I have to take care of myself. So I list the important categories/goals at the top of my log, and then the day of the week down the side and then write down what I've done to fit that category for the day. Simple as that. But this time around, I'm changing things around to fit my life and also to deal with some things that I struggle with, to make the log even more effective for the way I do things.

First of all, I put some pages in my handmade planner. I'm kind of loving my planner and making all the notes  and lists and such. But I also love using my stamps in my planner. For some reason, when the papers we look at all day are pretty and have pleasing colors, when they feel good in the hand, I'm more likely to use them, so making my log pretty, not just a drawn in grid, helps me want to use it.

New and Improved Creativity Log Imperfect and In Action

 This one here is my first try at making my new log. I don't know if you can tell, but there are some mistakes with the stamping and the boxes do not all line up as you go down the page. Whoops. Luckily I had a marker the same color as the ink I used so I just drew lines to keep the days straight. But even though I hadn't gotten the format down pat, I started to log my creativity for the week, anyway.

New and Improved Creativity Log (detail) in use, with some entries and notes

 Here is a closeup of the started log. You can see Self, Writing, Art/Craft, and Business (which is anything that has to do with money and jobs and finances). The categories you can't see are Blog, Kids, Home, and there's one more, which I'll talk about later.

One of the things I noticed right away when I started my log (this is only two days of logging, mind you) is that I am seriously avoiding Writing. I am not counting blogging as writing because I know the projects I mean to be working on and I am not doing them because I am afraid. So, when I noticed that I was avoiding writing, I filled my empty log slot with a stamp, saying "DON'T IGNORE ME".  I need to know when I am avoiding something. I need to be faced with the fact that I am avoiding it. I need to stop hiding from it, because I know what my real goals are.

Another thing that I added to my new log is that I am not only keeping track of the tasks I complete, but I am also adding a star to the activities that make me feel good about myself, make me feel productive and make me feel like I can tackle the next step. I want to see which kinds of things lead to the most positive feelings. And I want to value those activities for their emotional and psychological weight.

New and Improved Creativity Log (detail) with the hand carved stamp that has helped improve it.

This brings me to the last new thing that I added to my creativity log. A new category. It isn't strictly about being creative... actually neither is the whole log, it's more about productivity, or perhaps, working on the rest of my life so that I can be creative. The new category is called, "Big Girl Panties," aka "Be Brave." In this row, there is a place that I can mark down what I have done that has been scaring me, intimidating me. What I have been avoiding because it is too important, fits into my neuroses, or is too far out of my comfort zone. All those things about which I have spent my life muttering, "I cant!" This is the category that has been standing in my way, and these are the things that I need to put on my big girl panties and deal with.

This category pleases me. I feel so good when I can accomplish something that has been scaring me, even if it something so simple as emailing someone. I feel competent and capable and brave, and that means I am feeling stronger and more able to tackle everything else. This category also helps me think about the other things that are scaring me, the things I need to tackle next. I've put lists in my weekly planners of scary stuff that I am afraid of but still need to take care of. Like I said before, the more I pay attention to these things that scare me and the less I hide from it, the better it is for my creativity, my productivity and my life.

All in all, I'm really proud of the way this creativity log is turning out. It is about doing it. It is about taking those steps toward what you really want. I suppose it wouldn't even need to be about creativity, if your goals were more along the lines of career or home or business, but for me it's creativity. And something they don't really tell you before you start trying to make art or write novels or compose symphonies is that the hardest part about creating is not really about writing, painting or the act of creating. The hardest part about being creative is confronting your own fears, battling your demons, overcoming your flaws, facing your dreams and digging into the heart of all that you are.

What are the categories that you would put into your own personal creativity log? What are the things that you need to tackle to be as creative as you would like?

Ten Ways Pinterest Can Improve Your Creativity

 My Stuffed Doll, inspired by, researched on, and created with help from Pinterest. Because Pinterest is not just for wasting time.



I've read a lot about how people love Pinterest, but it's a total time suck and they never DO anything that they pin on their boards. Or conversely, how people just don't "get" Pinterest, that it just seems to be a kind of cluttery virtual hoarding by squee girls.

Not me. Yes, I probably spend more time than is good for me browsing Pinterest, but I also try an awful lot of things that I see on Pinterest. I also use Pinterest as a resource for when I have my own projects to tackle. So I thought that I'd discuss some of the ways that I have used Pinterest not only to inspire but to actually DO STUFF.

1. Pin stuff you like!
This might seem self evident, but often when I am not sure what I am doing, the very act of pinning stuff will help me figure out what I really love, what I dream of, what I'd like to be doing and where I want to go with  myself.  Often, while I'm pinning, I will begin to notice trends in my interests, like dark colors or stamping or stuffed dolls. Which brings me to the next thing...

2. Make your boards as specific as possible.
It is very easy to just think one Crafts Board or one For The Kids board will do, but if you want to actually do stuff from pinterest rather than just squee over great ideas, it helps to make those boards very specific. So rather than one Crafts Board, I have Crafts and Stuffed Creations, Craft and Crochet, Craft and Stitch (hand sewing), Craft and Be Ye Unafraid of the Machine that Sews (yeah, my machine intimidates me). And that's not even counting the DIY boards I have, where I put tutorials and upcycling and other stuff. The important thing is that I gear my boards to my activities and needs and desires. I like crafts and art, so the majority of my boards are related to this... but they don't have to be. You can have boards focused on holidays, music, travel, fashion, food, kids activities, reading. But the more specific each of those categories is, the easier it is to actually find what you need when you are ready to DO STUFF.

3. Create Action Boards.
These are not mere inspiration boards, but these are boards where you pin things that you are in the process of planning, creating and researching. These boards might be something like a To Do Board, where you pin stuff you want to remember to do. Or project boards, like Kids Birthday Party, or maybe Kitchen ReDo ... basically any involved project can have its own board. Actually, giving a project its own board means that it will stay on your mind, rather than falling into the cracks and getting ignored. Every time you're unwinding on the internet, if you see something that might fit into your project, you can pin it, and that will get you thinking about it. If you are always thinking about a project, you're much more likely to actually do it. Plus, there's such a wide range of ideas on pinterest, that your personal project can become ever more creative and interesting.

4. Create Photo Reference Boards.
This is particularly something that helps me if I am creating something with visual interest, whether it's decorating or painting a picture or sewing the doll above. I'm not the kind of person who just copies what someone else did, but I am unashamedly inspired by what other people have created. For instance, I had some trouble when I was making this doll, because I didn't know what I wanted her face to look like.

This is the face I came up with, but not before I looked at and sketched out a bunch of other faces like this and this and this. In the end, I came up with my own face, but looking at what other people had done gave me a sense of what was possible and what I liked. When I was making my stuffed owl, I used many references of real owls that I had collected on my do it photo reference board, so I could get away from the stuffed owls that were out there and make mine, if not more realistic, then at least more reminiscent of an actual Hedwig.

5. Use the Search Function.

I love the search function. In some ways, it has taken over for general search engines. I like that the images are visual and I can browse for my own visual interest. Sometimes I just search a term on Pinterest and then let chance lead me to inspiration. But it also works because it is a curated collection of things related to your terms. Someone has already chosen these images because they love them or found them useful. The search function was particularly useful to me when I was looking for ways to do this doll's hair. I felt like I'd never done the hair right, so when I searched on pinterest, I was looking for a tutorial for doing hair "right." I found this and knew that this was the  right way to do doll hair... but then I was also running out of time so I kept searching for something less.... intimidating. I didn't want to do something in felt, although it was cute, so I kept searching until I found this tutorial which is what I used and which came out fabulously.

6. Participate in the Community

People have answers. If you are stuck on something, ask a question on a relevant pin, and someone might have an answer. Or, solicit advice from your followers. Ask them if they know the right way to make a doll wig, or if a recipe works out the way it looks, or... well hey, I've been asking for all sorts of advice on my library board. I want to know if books are good or just hype, or if my kids will like them. The answer for this book seems to be yes. Something to be aware of here is the caption that you pin. Very frequently, I won't notice the caption when I pin and my followers will respond to a question I didn't have. So if you want advice or reviews or suggestions, pay attention to your comments and captions. Another community aspect that can encourage your creativity are the group boards. Create a board with friends working on a similar project, or find pinners you love and include them or just join in on the conversation where like minded people are sharing their ideas, like in this parenting board.

7. Keep Pen and Paper Nearby 

Pinterest is a great virtual pin board, but there comes a time when you have to take things into the real world.  To do so, it helps to have scrap paper or a notebook or journal with you while you browse pinterest. You might want to write down a recipe and bring it over to the kitchen. Or you might want to take the good book ideas and bring them with you to the IRL library or bookstore. Keep Lists. Note things down in your calendar. Take the impulse and paint something while you're sitting in front of your computer. If you have tools nearby to write something or draw something down, then it will encourage you to make one of those great ideas IRL.

8. Make a Did It Board

How fun! You tried a recipe from pinterest, or you followed a tutorial, or you crocheted a pattern, or you went to a place on a travel board! Great. Tell us what you did. Put that pin on a board of completed pins and share with us how it worked out. Keep it there as a reference so that you can go back to it again. I've gone back a bunch of times to do this, (it's great.)There is a feeling of accomplishment when you can mark something as done, and it is encouraging to see that other people are out there trying things, not just browsing.

9. Show and Tell

Similar to a Did It board where you pin things that you've attempted from pinterest, you can create a board to show how your own efforts turned out. Make a board of things that you have made, decorated, cooked. Upload your own photos, pin from your blog or flickr account. Honestly I'm still leery of pinning too much of my own stuff, I don't want to be a spammer, but the truth is that people want to be inspired, and when you show them what you have done, they can be inspired to do it themselves. I finally made my own blog board, after a year and a half of pinning. I'm not sure what took me so long, but it's also a nice place for me to see what I've done, how well various projects and blog posts are received, and to share my projects with a wider audience. There is actually a category for "My Life" when you make a board, so hey, why not show your life and what you have created.

10. Review Your Boards

And last but not least, remember that pinterest is not just for grabbing cool images that you see, it is for curating these images, collecting these ideas, saving things for later use. You pinned those images because there was something that grabbed you. Take time to go back over your own pins. See the comments that have been made. Remind yourself why you pinned that gorgeous room or yummy drink. When you first saw it, you thought, "I want to do that!" so periodically go through your pins to remind yourself of what you want to do. Don't forget to look at your specific boards, too. I have boards for various writing ideas. Sometimes, if I want to get back into a particular story, I might peruse this board. See now, you all thought that was just a board for weird stuff, but no, that is actually an inspiration board for my long neglected novel, characters, moods, settings, plot twists etc. So if I want my brain to go back to that project, I go there. Or if I want a new dinner idea, there's nothing like a food board. Shoot, I was browsing that board last night and decided on a whim to make this and it was delicious. Or if you want to do something for a holiday? Hey, this board is rocking for creativity at Christmas. We can pin good ideas all year long, but when it comes time in November to find a new wreath or project, all you have to do is browse your own collection, and you already have somewhere to start.

So THERE! That's it. Ten Ways Pinterest Can Improve Your Creativity. 

But before you run off and get your make on, leave a comment and tell me if there's anything I forgot. What ways does pinterest help YOU to be creative. How do you avoid the time suck issues? How does pinning help feed your productivity? 

My Writer's Space

Bedroom writing space

It's not an office, it's not a writing room, but it is a little space in the bedroom with a little table, a rocking chair, nice light, and a pretty flower.

It turns out I'm not the only one who likes to write in my bedroom. Look at this post from apartmenttherapy, writers' bedrooms. If it was good enough for Emily Dickinson, it's good enough for me.

Or at least we'll try it out and see if it works. It's part of my goal of finishing my book and sending it out, the very easiest, first step I can take towards getting back to revising. I'm also getting together all my files so that I will know where everything I've already done is, and I can figure out exactly what I need to do next. I think there is a first chapter that I need to print out.

Oh, I know this seems like an awfully small first step here... actually, writing down my mind map is the first step. It put on paper some of the things I was mulling over in my head, without ever taking action. So, yes. These are two small steps...in fact, add another one-- I took a book out of the library called The First Five Pages, A Writer's Guide to Staying Out of the Rejection Pile, by Noah Lukeman. Ok, that's three small steps. After months of totally ignoring this novel.

I haven't started yet-- wait, add another small step. I just threw together a portable file box, so that I can bring my work with me, wherever I choose to write. (I have to be flexible when I'm watching kids. They're a lot more independent than they used to be, but still.) So four baby steps... and I am actively thinking about writing. Actively taking action on my goals. None of these baby steps seem like much. They are easy to accomplish when you break them down and they are no longer intimidating.

I'm going to keep going with my baby steps and see how far that gets me in my goals. See how long I can keep it up. Actually, I'm kind of proud of myself for getting back to business. And it all started with my fun little arts and crafts projects. Full disclosure here... I already know that in order for me to be productive again after a fallow period, I have to futz around with lists and planners and doodles. So in that case, even the act of making stamps and binding planner books was part of my baby steps towards my eventual goals.

It's good to have those clear goals to aim for, just make sure you are actually taking action on them, no matter how small that action seems.

Book Lists and Journal Pages and Happy Stamps

My Booklist Page, in my handmade stamped journal planner

Yay public library! Unfortunately, whenever I go to the library I am always stumped as to what to take out. There are so many choices and my reading time is so limited compared to what it used to be that I hate wasting solo time on books that I hate.

I've started doing research online into good books to read, taking suggestions and reading reviews. But I always forget the books that I want to get. So then I made a library pin board on pinterest, with all the books, booklists, suggestions, reviews, favorites and general library mayhem that I can find. But I can't carry my computer to the library and login to pinterest. I can put a hold on books in the library as I find them of interest, but I'm starting to feel bad about making the librarians do my leg work. I know how to use a library, I don't need them to go dig my book out of the stacks and hold it at the desk... unless it's an interlibrary loan, then all bets are off. 

So I've decided, to save my time, energy, confusion and librarians, that I will make a place for my books int he back of the planner that I'm making. I've got one page for books for me, and one page for books for my kids. 

 My Book List
Notice that I've checked them off if I've taken them out of the library, and if I've read them, I give starred reviews. I'm putting books that I'd like to read again on my booklist, just to keep them in mind. I'm big into fantasy, sci fi, magical realism, paranormal, alternate realities, YA books, mythology, weirdness, fairy tales and speculative fiction in general. I'm hoping that keeping a list like this in my planner/journal will keep me from losing all the books I write down on little scraps of paper or hidden on random pages of my regular journal.

The Kids' Book List

The boy and I went through this book list and chose things he'd like to read. He made some surprising choices like this one. But we're still deep into Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, so I'm waiting to take out his books.

I'm still choosing books for the girl... she hasn't really made it to chapter books yet. She still needs pictures to stay focused. We tried Little House on the Prairie and she's kind of iffy on being able to concentrate on them, so I thought I'd save Little House for a later date so she can truly enjoy them. I need to find some chapter books that are heavy on the pictures, as in, like, on every page. If anyone has any suggestions for books that are good for pre-readers, who enjoy girly things, girl heroes, princesses, animals, ballet, the color pink and are also good enough stories not to make me want to poke my eyes out when I read them every night, I would be much obliged.

Anyway, I'm enjoying finding stuff to do with my growing collection of handmade stamps. Could I just list my books on a plain page? Why sure I could, but the colors and patterns and pictures make me happy. I'm experimenting and trying out different ways to use these stamps and every time I think of another stamp I need, I just get up and carve it. Cool. 

Go Book lists. Go stamping. Go libraries. Go yummy books.

Oh hey, I think I need to make a page where I can write down all the good, lovely things that make me happy. What should I stamp it with? Flowers? Sunshine? Hearts? I'm thinking I need to carve some more lovelies.

Rowena's Planner, Handmade, Now With Stamping!

Rowena's Planner

graph paper, thread, inks and stamps

Here I am making a planner. Why don't I just buy one? Because making one helps me focus my head, and I can never find one that fits my needs. This is twelve sheets of graph paper folded in half, pierced along the fold with six holes (I used a small nail or push pin) and then sewn together with a piece of cereal box cardboard for the cover.

It's not pretty, but I have plans for it, and I needed the cover to be slightly stiff without being rigid. I am not done with this project in the slightest.

Once I put my book together I took out my stamps and started stamping. I love my letter stamp... you see it at the top of the picture. I am stamping the days of the week at the top of the planner. Then I decorate with the other stamps that I carve. This one has leaf green raindrops underneath the pink planning area. I figure I can write ideas and projects right over top of the stamping. 

What? Those stamps don't look familiar? They're not. I MADE THEM! And I made them exactly to my needs. I wanted a stamp to be the size and shape for daily planning. So I cut one. Then I wanted it to have lines... so I carved them. I'm making it just the way I want to and I'm allowing myself to be inspired by my whim, imagination and desire. To tell the truth, I'm getting a little heady with it all... such freedom!

 This was the first one I did. I used a date stamp at the top for each day, but I kind of think that's messy. I probably won't on the next pages I do. It's a learning process, learning how to use the stamps, and figuring out what I need to have on my planner page and what works. This whole page is not my favorite... although I do like the the polka dots around the edge. By the way, polka dots? Just a plain pencil eraser. I am giddy with the cute.

I already have more stamps and more pages. This stamp making and using is THAT addictive. I'll have to show you better pictures of what I've become addicted to. I'm also learning how to carve. It's a skill and I am still learning how to work the carving tools and the stamp block. I should probably try to go a little bit bigger, instead of the mini stamps I keep going for. It's easier to do it larger.

Hopefully I'll have time tomorrow to post what I've done, but I have some Easter projects to do and I am always doubtful about my time to accomplish everything. Boy. I need a planner to organize me.

Oh! Hey! ;)

Two Steps Forward One Step Back (don't give up)

Two Steps Forward One Step Back...(don't give up) [detail]
journal pages, stamps, watercolor, gold sharpie

My intentions this spring have been to get back to journaling, writing, painting, blogging and various other creative, business and real world ventures. I was doing ok, getting my momentum going when, blam! from out of nowhere, I got a stomach virus which knocked me out for a couple of days and left me limp for a week.

So here I am recovering, looking at my blog and my journal and avoiding looking at my lonely novel in need of revision, and feeling entirely dissatisfied and unproductive and just plain BAD. I feel like I CAN'T do it, I CAN'T paint, CAN'T write, CAN'T get back to that place where I want to be.

And then I remembered... this is the process. This is the way growth works. Not all at once, not in a smooth upward climb towards success, but in fits and spurts and moments of going nowhere and then bursts of energy.

I have not been defeated by my momentary illness, it's just another one of those knock-backs, just the step in the wrong direction before I find my right direction again.

Two Steps Forward and One Step Back (don't give up)
Journal Spread, watercolor, stamps, sharpie

I did some journaling yesterday, also, thinking about my bad feelings and negative reaction to not being able to get my creative mojo back up after being ill, and I thought..."Well, hey, what if it was my first grade son who was having these feelings of inadequacy? What would I say to him?" And here is what I came up with.

My Advice to My Son

• Keep trying. Don't give up because it is difficult or seems like it isn't going anywhere. Keep trying and you'll figure it out.
• Pay attention to your progress. Look back at where you were last week, or last month, or the beginning of the year, and see how far you've come and what you've accomplished. If you could do it then, you can do it now.
• Practice makes you better. Even if you aren't great at something right now, the more you practice it, the better you will get and the more you will learn. Learning is a process, and it takes the struggles to get somewhere.
• Sometimes, mistakes are good. We learn from our mistakes. We learn what doesn't work and we learn what does work. We're supposed to make mistakes because we're learning new things.
• It's okay if you don't get it right or do it perfectly, because once you try, you can look at what you've already done and fix it so that you like it better.
• Sit down and concentrate. Take it slowly and be careful. And for goodness sake, stop fidgeting and wiggling and stop watching the tv (or in my case, looking at the internet).
• Stop looking for excuses and do it now. 15 minutes on the timer. GO!
• Trust yourself. You are smart enough. You are good enough. You can figure it out.
• If you can't figure it out, that's okay.  We'll figure it out together. Or we'll look it up. Or we'll ask for help. We don't have to know everything and we don't have to get it perfectly.

It's funny how much of my advice to my son when he has been learning how to read and write and do math and develop work habits and get homework done and become a good student can help me in my attempts to become a better artist, writer, blogger etc. Even if I'm not new to this game like he is, but when you've been knocked back by the winds of growth, it can seem like you're a beginner again. It's not such a bad idea to treat yourself like that beginner and give yourself the room to make mistakes, to be imperfect, and to not have things all figured out.

Finding your Stories When Life is Too Loud, or Looking for Stars at Noon

Looking for Stars at Noon

Felt Charm/Bookmark

wool blend felt, cotton embroidery floss, metallic embroidery floss, thread, metal jump ring, cotton fabric

Yesterday, I was in an internal uproar. It was my day off of work and I wanted to write a blog post and I knew what I wanted to write, more or less, but I couldn't find a way in. And then I just stewed in my discontent and spent a lot of time on line and did a lot less than I wished.

The thing is, I'm a writer, and I need to write in order to be happy, but it's often such hard work to write that I get wrapped up in the difficulties and knotted up in not being able to write and just get, well, un happy.

I have a novel that is sitting in my drawer, waiting for me to finish it. And it is so close to being finished, it's like I am sitting on its chest, not allowing it to take its first breath. 

So here I am with my internal discontent, my thwarted creative jones, and my poor unloved novel. It would be a good place to just get blocked.

But I've learned something about my creative process through the years, and I've learned something about not being so hard on myself for not being perfect. 

In order to get back to the place to where I can tackle a big project like that last revision, I have to condition myself, to build up my creative muscles, so to speak. Just like athletic training. You don't jump up from the 24 hour couch to do a marathon. You need to get back into shape. You need to stretch. You need to get your head in the game. Is a marathon a game? Well, the point stands.

Here are some of the things I do to condition my creativity.

• Browse pinterest. Yes, indeed, I use pinterest to fuel my creativity. It is not just an obsessive waste of time for me. I find things like this, and this, which get my brain thinking, and then I do things like make today's book mark.
• Make things that use other parts of my brain. It might be cooking. It might be sketching. Today it was stitchery. What does this bookmark have to do with writing? Well, follow with me down my thought path. So I saw the cross stitch thing on pinterest which reminded me of stars in the sky, then I thought of this gray felt I had, then I thought, 'Hey, white thread on pale gray would almost be like stars, but when the sky was light. Hey, that's almost what it's like trying to write when my day is so full of living, working, raising kids, cleaning house, cooking food, just being. It's like I'm trying to find the bright lights of my story in the even brighter light of the day time sun.'  And then voila, here I am making my book mark which reminds me to find the starry story in my day to day. 
• Read things that remind me about what it means to write. Books like Finding Water, by Julia Cameron (she of The Artist's Way) or articles like this or this or this. I found these starting with a pinterest search. In fact, I started a To Write board so I could keep my online writing inspiration organized. It helps.
• In fact, I've got a couple of boards for writing. I pin images that remind me of stories I'm writing, or give me glimmers of ideas for stories I am not writing just yet. Far from being a waste of time, these kind of boards keep your head in the story, they allow ideas to rumble around and bump up against each other in your subconscious. Being active in looking for ideas for your stories means you are actively thinking about writing. Even if you are not writing, that's part of what writing is. Thinking about writing. Ruminating over ideas. Collecting moments and characters that belong to your story.
• Get back to business. I'm thinking about being productive again, after this long winter. Thinking about my blog, actually writing my blog again. While this is not "the novel" it is writing, and these muscles are being stretched.
• Speaking of, I'm writing in my journal again. It's astounding to me that I pretty much stopped writing in my journal for a while. There is nothing like writing in a journal to practice those writing muscles. 

So here I am, slowly getting back into writing/fighting shape. Have I picked up the last draft and started going over it yet? No, I have not. But I tell you what, in my mind I have picked it up. I have considered how I will pick it up and which direction I will turn it when I start revising it again. I have thought about what to do with that chapter I need to get rid of (which is what stopped me where I was the last time) and I have practiced in my head just how it would work when I opened up that file and got back to work.

 Here's the other side of the charm. Is that the story that's looking to be told?

Hmm. And do you have any ideas or suggestions for ways to condition your creativity? Any hints for getting creative again?

Oh, I actually do have one more hint, one that I am not quite ready to try myself, but I know, that is what it comes down to in the end.

Cells and Building Blocks

Cells and Building Blocks

pencil, pen, watercolor on paper

5/26

For the last six years, I have been struggling to remember who I am. Where I want to go. What I really want to do with my life. My art.

This is confusing, because I am who I am, even in this time of kids and jobs and housekeeping and normal every day living. I am living my life and I am thankful for the life that I have, but at the same time... it's really hard to maintain focus when there are so many things pulling on you.

This is a different way of living than it was when I was single and had all my free time to devote to writing, art and dreams. Now, half the time, I am still devoting time to writing, art and dreams... but it's the writing, art and dreams of my kids. I don't mean that metaphorically. Working with G on his school work and practicing writing. Setting up projects and helping the kids in their painting, plays, music performances and other creative outbursts (also cleaning up from said creative outbursts). And dealing with nightmares, midnight wakings, bedtime routines, as well as the kids adventures in discovering their own dreams for themselves.

A fully worthy focus.

Except I can't help feeling frustrated at my inability to keep up with my personal goals.

As usual, this blog is about recovering, maintaining and exploring my creative goals. Since the very beginning, when I was trying to get back to being creative after having two kids, this is what it was. But I am creative again. I've found my voice again. Now I want to be heard.

This is a different journey, although a continuation. And I am writing this while the back of my mind ruminates over the bad chapter that I am revising in my novel. I want this book done. I want to finish my synopsis and send it out with my query letters. I want to get OUT in the world.

You'd figure if I really wanted to have my voice heard, I would post more than once a week, but like I said, it is hard to keep my focus in this busy world of living. I guess it is for everyone. And the only way I know to reach for those seemingly unreachable and frustratingly close goals is to take baby steps.

To paint one journal entry.

To write one extra blog entry this week (this makes 2 this week!)

To spend an hour before work (or after or at bedtime or whenever) revising my novel

To carry my "How to Write a Synopsis" book with me and read it whenever I get 15 minutes

To add another print to my etsy shop

To crochet a granny square or two while watching SYTYCD (it's back on, yay!)

To slowly work on organizing my workspace

To take notes on my synopsis in those slow moments at work

To have an artist date with my daughter where we can both paint and draw

To take photos whenever the need strikes me

To never give up on those things I really want, even when my efforts seem useless and it seems I have been working on them for an eternity without much progress, to never give up

To believe and remember and commit even though it's not perfect or easy

To never give up.

I said that part a lot. Never give up. Maybe it's a midlife crisis, wondering if all these years of effort are worth it. But I guess I decided it is.

I'm still at it.

You don't give up, either.

Goals, Guides and The Process

Fuzzy

Fuzzy doesn't like the camera. Too bad. She's very photogenic. Her name is also Fanny. It depends on who you ask.

I've been kind of sick lately. A 24 hour flu. You'd think the sucker would be over after 24 hours, but the weakness and dizzy head remains, slowly fading away. Well it's a week later, so let's see how long I remain up and functional today. I got smart and decided to write a blog post before my energy disappeared. Yay. I must be getting better. It's no biggie, just interferes major time with my productivity.

So here I am.

I've made a little bracelet out of bead thread and silver beady things. I made a folder for Ivy out of a happy meal box. Per her request. I've cut out dozens of felt circles in anticipation of stitching up little charms. I even appliqued a tiny red heart on one and tried to embroider (but made an ugly disaster of it) another one. I have no photos of any of these.

I've thought about my plans for the year, my "resolutions" if you will. Last post I talked about theme words... Organize, Enjoy, Say Yes to Life. But the truth is, I have goals that I need to accomplish. The major one... finish this novel and send it out and find an agent and get published.

I'm finding it hard to focus only on the theme words when I have this big honking goal hanging over my head.

I need to work on this goal, that is it. But it isn't a resolution. Resolutions are like bullies. They say you must do THIS thing. ALL the time. WITHOUT fail, or you are a loser. And that actually sets you up to fail. Witness all those lapsed gym goers, yo-yo dieters, people with chewed fingernails, furtive cigarette smokers, and novels languishing in trunks under the beds.

If you really want to achieve something, to make a change in your behavior, you have to think long term. What do you want at the end of the year... not what do you want right now. You have to allow yourself to be imperfect and to backslide, and to have lazy days, even weeks without sitting down to revise the fourth draft. Because of course, you have the flu and kids and must also take care of yourself, not just your goal.

So you set yourself up with smaller goals, that over the long term, will add up to the major goal.

Goals that are not overwhelming. Goals that are specific and measurable. Have fruit for desert instead of cookies, rather than lose 20 pounds. Take a yoga class, not "be fit." Write a query letter, not "be a best selling author".

So that's what I need to do. Look to make smaller goals that fit in with my larger goals.

Not coincidentally, I hope to make my smaller goals and my larger goals fit within my guiding words for the year. I will do so now, breaking down the goals into tasks that will fit within the guiding words.

ORGANIZE: organize my writing space, organize my agent research, keep in touch with critical readers, set up a daily writing schedule, keep a writing log, follow a time table.

SAY YES TO LIFE: actually start writing instead of hiding from it because it is scary, believe that I will be published, look for people who can help me, recognize and accept opportunities that come my way, look for the good in my book and emphasize that, show people my writing, take advantage of the free time I have to work on the things that I really want to do.

ENJOY: allow myself to enjoy the good things about my book, remember to enjoy my writing time because I actually love to write, develop rituals surrounding my writing time to recognize the specialness of it, look back at my life and recognize how far I have come, write a new resume or curriculum vitae celebrating all that I have achieved, write an author's bio as if my book were already published, set up a rewards system for writing/publishing goals achieved (perhaps rewards towards that new camera I want), accept the process for what it is and learn to enjoy it.

Let me tell you.

That little exercise actually has gotten me thinking about writing. Not only that, but it's gotten me excited for the process of revision, research, and querying.

You see, I don't want to just be a published author. I don't want just to have a novel written. I want to enjoy the life I am living while I go about doing this. I want to live this life, the one I have, not the one I will have once I achieve some goal, once I have beaten some resolution.

Try this exercise. Think of the guiding words for your year... the words reminding you of the life you want to live, the person you want to be. Now think of the goals you want to accomplish. Now try to find ways that your goals can be achieved THROUGH your guiding words.

Play a Game

Pin the Nose on the Clown, impromptu party game

sharpie on craft paper, recycled food raisin box, blue tacky stuff.

AEDM 17

Where have I been. Blah.

I've been doing stuff but having no time to post it. Or perhaps I've been lazy. Possibly the latter.

I came home intending to finish a project yesterday, and instead was roped into creating a kids party in the kids' bedroom, with party games, snacks and well, that's about it.

I never did get to finish my project, which is still sitting on my desk, awaiting glitter.

And meanwhile, my projects to be done are racking up. And so is my anxiety.

Ah, but a lot of that anxiety is manufactured. A lot of my deadlines are manufactured. I have plenty of room to rearrange my to do list and to rearrange my headspace.

I present that same sort of freedom to you.

Take a look at all the things on your to do list and see what you can reprioritize. What can you knock off the list until next week? or completely? What, if completed first, would reduce your stress level and give you room to breathe? Is there anything you can delegate to others? Is there anything you need to do first to leave space for following projects.

Take a deep breath and pay attention to how you make things harder on yourself.

Give yourself a break.

Play a game. Remember what you're doing all this for.

Black and White Traveling, or Breathe

Black and White Traveling, or Breathe

9/24/10 ink and repurposed menus, acrylic gel medium

4"x4"

I took Saturday and Sunday off of writing and blogging because I felt myself getting more and more anxious over everything undone and everything still to do.

Taking the writing break meant I could take care of some other business and it meant I could relax a little.

When I went to work, I found myself happy, instead of stressed.

I realized that my goals of revising 100 pages a week, 20 pages a day (not including weekends) was unrealistic. Especially since I was totally planning on working through the weekends which I had actually planned to use as a break. (Did you catch that? I planned a break for myself, and then I was going to ignore that wisdom, and push myself to keep going without a break.)

Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect, to be productive, to do it all, to conquer the world (whatever world it is we want to conquer)?

I'm being crazy productive, but I still see all the things I am not doing and how far I am from my long term and short term goals.

Oh.

You know what this means for me?

I have to start doing my To Do/Did Done lists again.

That's where I keep a normal To Do list, breaking things down into small tasks, and then I also keep track of everything I have taken care of, done, achieved or gotten through in any given day.

When I start paying attention to what I have actually done, whether it was on my To Do list or not, I start to realize that I am doing more than I thought I was doing.

When I had babies, my Did Done list often had things like, "showered, fed everyone breakfast, got dressed, checked email, nursed 6 times."

Now however, perhaps I might have, "got everyone dressed, made lunch for boy, walked boy to school, blogged, made xx$ at work, drew bookmark, had meeting, revised 10pp, made dinner, watched Mad Men."

It's good to put things on your list that you look forward to or that are about taking care of yourself, not just things that are weighing you down. I know that when I am busy, I quite often forget to take care of myself.

That, my friends, leads to burn out.

So take care of yourself. Take some (limited) time off of all you want to have done. Pay attention to all you do accomplish, even little things, even things that are not on your list, even things that are about having fun.

An Empty Garage, (and some things with which to fill it)

An Empty Garage (Or My Studio, when I get my butt in gear and set it up.)

So I've moved into my new house, but I am not settled. I am distinctly UNsettled. I want to get back to work and be creative and make it cozy and decorate and paint pictures and start doing large pieces and explore and expand and grow.

But I'm still all kerflumoxed.

Oh crap. Not the process again!

Why can't life just go smoothly and allow me to pick up my art exactly where I left off? Why do I have to go through the reimagining and rededicating and revisioning? Why do I have to build up my routine day by day? Why why why?

Because that is the process.

So here I am, in a lazy state of recovery from the stress of moving and switching jobs and taking care of kids and new schedules and trying to find a new babysitter and all that. And I.

DON'T.

WANT.

TO.

WORK.

SO.

HARD.

blargh.

But I do know what my ultimate goals are, and they are to live the creative life and write and paint and teach and make money off of these things. To live in a comfy, colorful and beautiful home. To have happy and strong kids. To have a community of creative souls. To enjoy life. To live in joy.

So sometimes I just have to get over my laziness and resistance and get back to work.

But then again, I don't want to force myself to do something as a chore that should be fun.

So let's reframe it all. Instead of looking at all the work I have to do and dreading it, maybe I'll think about things that I am excited about doing. New projects. Old projects. Fun things.

Like what I am going to do in that nice big space of a garage that I have claimed for a studio.

POTENTIAL PROJECTS

• Painting Large Pieces. (I have space. I can finally paint big!)
• Using wood and metal and various hardware to make sculptures along with paperclay and sculpey and felt other familiar materials.
• Painting my old found white dresser a vibrant teal. (I've already bought the paint.)
• Furnishing my empty garage with easels and tables and a couch and/or chairs to make it a comfortable space to create. (The landlord said he'd put in a new window on the west wall.)
• Perhaps starting a new 100 in 100 Days project (I'm scared of taking it on.)
• Getting back to reading tarot cards. (I don't talk about this much, because I haven't done it often since having kids, but I used to have clients in NYC and I enjoyed it.)
• Learning how to do resin jewelry.
• Learning how to encaustic painting.
• Finishing my little doll and turning her into a kind of hearth goddess. (I need to get some art supplies to finish her up.)
• Having a place to be creative and exploratory, and perhaps also, away from the computer so I don't get sucked into the interwebs.

These are just the projects that come to mind. They are exciting. I should really get on it, before I get stuck in a rut of not being creative. Start the juices flowing so that life can be juicy.

I think I need to remember my baby steps. Maybe I'll start painting in my journal, first, so that I can get the practice back without all the stress of feeling like I need to produce something fabulous.

What projects would you like to take on? What would it take for you to get excited about them?