Saturday, September 20, 2008
Flying Girl Lets Go, or Rapunzel
I am sitting here, after putting the kids to nap. I can hear the boy upstairs rearranging furniture, but that's what he does, before he falls asleep. He's probably playing Spiderman.
I am sitting here, after straightening up, eating my lunch and thinking about my post. Which picture do I want to publish? What lessons have I learned? What direction am I going with all this flying?
I have been painting a picture a day, at least, for the last... I'm not sure, since Strange Land, Yellow Sky. I think that's a week. I didn't plan to do it, well, not technically... or perhaps I did.
I think it was a month ago when I told Kelley over at Dragonfly Reflections, that I would join her on her journey of 100 Days of Sacred Art. After reading her posts and writing some of my own, and commenting and reading others comments I realized that to follow strict guidelines of rules and everysingledays and making myself into a perfectionist nut was not the way for me to go in this challenge, so I kind of stopped trying to do the every day, or even to think about it every day.
But perhaps I didn't really stop thinking about it. Perhaps it just went into my subconscious, or onto my long list of things I'd like to do someday but actually ended up being something that I was working on without my even knowing that I was working on it. Even after I lost my camera and lost my momentum on trying to do this project, something was still working on it.
It was almost like my soul was trying to find a way into the project. I needed a route that was authentic and timely for me.
I knew I wanted to paint more. I knew I wanted to be spiritual. I knew I wanted to focus on my soul. I knew I wanted to start a creative business somehow. I knew I wanted to be engaged in a dialog about this. I knew I wanted to join creative challenges. I knew I wanted to find my voice. I knew I wanted to experiment with style. I knew I needed a key.
And... here she is. Flying Girl.
How did I find her? I kept showing up, even when I couldn't do the Sacred Art Everyday. I kept showing up even when I had bad news and big fights and bumps in the road (it may have looked like I was taking a break, but I think the conscious choice to take off was me showing up for my soul that needed rest.) I kept showing up when I continued to search for inspiration in other artist. I kept showing up when I continued to step up to the art challenges and allowed myself to go out of my comfort zone. I kept showing up when I took on the Be Brave challenge, even if I wasn't as brave as I thought I should be every day. I kept showing up when I stuck all my paints in my little beach bag and took it with me, looking for a space in my space where I could TRY.
I kept showing up for the inspiration to come, and the inspiration showed up for me. And the doors opened for the journey.
Of course Flying Girl is me. Just like every character I ever wrote is me. And not me. Where am I going? Where am I flying with this girl? I think I have finally found the way into my etsy shop.... something that I have been putting off for a year. Well, I did have a lot to do this year and a lot of changes to deal with. Maybe I also had a lot of discovering and uncovering and recovering to do.
I am still all sorts of discombobulated about how to manage the business and the printing of the shop, but at least now I have a place to begin. Oh, and if you were inside of my head, you would see all the flitting ideas, like butterflies, that want to come out. It's like fricking Capistrano (that is where the monarchs go, isn't it?) But perhaps, just like the inspiration needed time to grow and develop and transform, the new butterfly ideas also need the time to find their strength.
I hardly know.
I do know that this latest painting is inspired by a challenge I found somewhere (I lost the link) to create a collage, I think from a fairy tale. Interestingly, this was the easiest painting so far. I never hated it, never struggled with it, but I was always looking for the shape of it and what it called for next. It's not the collage that the challenge called for, but the challenge was outdated anyway. I just followed the challenge which turned into an inspiration and out came Rapunzel from her tower, shedding her locks like a butterfly sheds her cocoon. Getting rid of the weight that holds her down, letting go of the old ideas that held her captive.
Witch? What witch? Rapunzel was the one who locked herself away, in fear and self preservation. Prince? She don't need no stinkin' prince, the power of freedom was always inside of herself. How long were those scissors sitting on her windowsill before she noticed them? How long before she realized how heavy those golden locks were? How long before she saw how wide the sky and how warm the sun?
Time to let go. When do the self imposed walls and rules imprison you? What locks hold you back? Is that a key in your hand?