Saturday, September 06, 2008


This crazy woman is Mama. Photo taken by the Wildboy. Crazy eyebrows courtesy of my father's latino genes (time for a trimming.)

I finally got my new/refurbished camera in the mail, so hopefully I will be back on the visual posting soon. I never did figure out the rest of the visual technology, being content, instead to sink into a less than productive period of introspection. Introspection, that is, different from my regular introspection which ends up on the world wide web.

The camera, however, is not the exact model and I am having adjustment issues. It feels wrong. It's too light and too thick and the curved edges are on the wrong side, and it's not shiny enough. And there are all these icons on the screen that I don't know what to do with.

Disgruntlement and grumps.

I noticed I had the same attitude when they introduced the new Facebook. I didn't like it. The colors were wrong. The information was in the wrong place. I didn't understand the various buttons and clicks. And where did my Buffy page go? Come to think of it, I had the same grumps about it when they redesigned 43things, too.

Mama is a creature of habits. Change does not go over well. It doesn't matter if the change is good, it still feels wrong. I still automatically feel uncomfortable. But it does not mean that the new thing is bad.

After a few weeks, 43things started to feel natural. And facebook is no longer the alien site that I first thought... although I still want my Buffy on the first page. And I'm pretty sure that the new model of my camera will soon become second nature. I can already see that there is more flexibility with it. Those funny icons do things that I like!

Change is hard. It's scary, even if it's for the best. It's disorienting. You have to learn new things and figure out how the new system works. There are times, when we reach a state of affairs that are untenable, when the present system just does not work and we find ourselves eager for change... a new house, a new job, a new... mmm... president??? In those instances change is invigorating. Even the change of the seasons usually comes at a time when we are so ready to be done with the heat of summer or the cold of winter that we are eager to see the changing leaves or the rain. But then again, maybe those kind of changes are things that we are accustomed to and have developed our own ways of dealing with. Maybe we have to go back to school when Summer is over, but we also get to buy new school supplies and start wearing sweaters again.

I am still looking for ways to welcome change. Or maybe welcome the dissonance that change brings. Just get used to things? Pay attention to the benefits instead of wah! I don't understand this thing! Or maybe just accept that I don't have a handle on everything in the moment, and that's okay. Or is it an adventure to enjoy? That's hard for me sometimes, to shift my thoughts from fear to adventure.

How do you deal with change? What kinds of changes challenge you the most? What kinds do you take in stride?


D'Arcy said...

I was talking about this just last night with my friend. We were both having a hard time with change. We had just eaten at one of our favorite restaurants where we always order the exact same thing because we know we like it and don't want to take a chance on something else we just won't like as much.

We decided that living in the moment, truly living in the moment and enjoying your life and each day...makes it harder to leave those moments behind. When you really start living life, loving life, enjoying each day, it gets hard to leave those days behind.

I've been thinking, some changes aren't welcoming and yet, the past three days here have felt like a Fall, a change I welcome to much. I relish it. It is my favorite time of year. Fall comes and knocks on my door and tells me to put on a sweater and I am so happy,

Now, when winter comes knocking and telling me to put on a coat...I'm gonna have problems with change again...

Anonymous said...

I don't deal well with sudden change. I need to work my way into it.

But you make it work one way or another.

Natasha said...

Change - I always know when its time for change because suddenly I want to clean out my closets and change my hair, etc...that's when I know and sometimes I'm excited because maybe I've pt change off too long and other times I fight it and feel weird but I've decided to enjou uncomfortable because discomfort equals growth.

Something you said about seasons changing inspired me to work on a story I had closed for a bit...thanks!!

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