Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Cosmos, or Prayer for Hope

Cosmos, or Prayer for Hope
Ink on Antique Book Page,
22/100 in 100 creative challenge


I am so very busy. In fact, I should be painting right now, a gift, you see, for S, whose birthday is today. I am late with the birthday present. I am behind on everything, right now, it seems, always rushing to catch up with myself.

I'm pretty sure it comes from that "need" I have to be better than I am, more productive, farther along, perfecter.

Heh heh.

I made up a word. Did you catch that?

Well you see, I've given up on being perfecter. I've given up on being perfect. When I realize I am trying to be perfect, or at least, anxious because I can't be perfect, I have to remember something. I am not perfect. No one is perfect. There is no way to be perfect. And I am just fine the way I am.

I'd like to be calmer and more together, but you know what? I don't think it will do me any good to wait around to that perfecter time when I can finally do the things I want to do.

In fact, not only will it not do me any good to wait around, it will actually make it all harder and make me less able to do what I want to do, because I get all wound up and twisted around and I can't get anything done anyway.

So today, I stapled the kids circus curtain to their closet. Yes. Stapled. If it pulls out, I'll staple it again (it looks great). And I took their too big dresser out of their room, although I didn't have time to transfer the smaller one in there before bed(it'll do for now). I rearranged the livingroom so that I wasn't squooshed on my desk in the corner, even though I wasn't sure it would turn out right (it's still up in the air). I threw ingredients in a pan and stuck it in the oven hoping that it would be tasty (it was).

Wait.

What was that word? Hoping?

I think the first step to being the bestest, happiest you is to have hope.

You have to believe that things can work out. You have to hope that you can handle everything you need to handle. You have to trust that even if you can't handle everything, it won't be the end of the world, and if it is, trust that there will be someone there to help you out, have faith that there will be a soft place to land, so that you can build your strength up again until you can do it all over again.

Hope.

It's how anything is done.

1 comment:

Diane Costanza Studio said...

Rowena,

I know EXACTLY how you feel. So, whenever I go there, that place that demands so much of me, I say the serenity prayer. Try it, it helps.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Diane

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