Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Being Present to What Is

During my quest for green, I found none on the trees, and little sprouting up from the ground.

Except for the grass. I got down on my knees and took a photo from a worm's eye view. Here was the green. I guess all that melted snow makes for some early lushness in Spring.

I love how sunny the green is in this picture, and how the shadows of the tree and deep blue sky is almost inky. I love even more the awesome poladroid application where I just drag and drop my digital photos, and end up with these cool effects.
Here is the tree outside my family room. I had thought that these were little leaves, that would be sprouting and turning green, but when I went out there after the rain was gone and the sun was finally shining, I saw these were actually red flowers! Well, look at that. Here I was longing for green leaves, and I had flowers, all along.

Michigan blooms late. And no matter how much I stare at the trees, glare, even, they refuse to leaf out just for me.

But I have noticed how late the sun sets up here in this wintery region. 8:30 pm and it's still light, in only March. How late will the sun go down by June, I wonder.

I guess this is a lesson to me. Instead of wishing for a life I want. (NO. The life I WANT, not this one here, this isn't the one I WANT.) I should just pay attention to the life I have.

So I don't have green leaves on the trees. I have red flowers. And green grass that promises to be lush and soft. I love lush soft grass. I think I'll spend some time this Spring having picnics and laying in that lush soft grass.

I'll plan for that in a few weeks, maybe even days if the weather report holds up. But in the mean time, I'll bake my chicken, and take post kid bedtime walks, listening to the birds coming back and getting all excited. And I'll sew my stuffed animals for the kids. (I'm working on an orange snake for the boy, and the girl, ms bunny, has asked for a bunny. I don't know how I'm going to do it.) I'll take my photos and try out new snacks on the kids. Whether or not they eat them.

In other words. I'll live my life and enjoy it the way it is. I'll stop living for something that hasn't quite sprung, and pay attention to the life I have.

This is very hard for me. I have to keep reminding myself, and I don't think I have it down. But the more I think/talk/write about it, the easier it gets. The more I work at letting go of the yearning for the future, for something I don't have, the easier it is to appreciate the now.

What about you.... are you living in your own life? What do you do to remind yourself to be present to what is?

5 comments:

Cori Lynn Berg said...

I try not to avoid the mirror. I spend time painting and inventing. I take time to talk to people each day. I try to eat fresh versus processed. And I smile...

Anna said...

I keep reminding myself to live in the present instead of always thinking ahead to the future. I am practicing awareness. I am also seeking my life purpose so I can live my own life.

dragonflyreflections said...

Sometimes I think my whole purpose in life is simply to learn to live in the moment. I seem to always be thinking about what I did last week or how many months it is until my next big milestone. If I can ever let all of that go and live "right now," I think I'll find the answers I've been looking for. Writing daily seems to help - seems to force me to notice and be grateful for my here and now.

Heidi said...

I really needed to hear this - I know what you're saying about living in the present. It seems that I've put the beautiful habit down for a while and am now obsessively focused on the future and trying to influence things out of my control! Thanks for the post - I need to dust off that old, beautiful habit of living in the present... maybe I'll do that - tomorrow :)

Barbara said...

Hello Rowena,
I have to remind me every single day to be here and to live the life now instead of always thinking and dreaming of another life to come. But it´s hard. But I have learned that we are in the present the product of our thoughts in the past and in the future we will be what we are thinking now...this is way I have to remind me always to stop thinking negative thoughts and try to be more open to positive thoughts, thoughts of joy, abundance, love...
Enjoy spring, I love your blog.
Barbara

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