Pink Dawning Traveling
48/100 in 100 Creative Challenge
Golden Fluid Acrylic on paper, 5x8"
Sometimes, when I sit down here to write I feel like it's the only time I can take a breath and think about my life.
I feel like I am always on the run, even if I am not going somewhere. I'm not even that active a parent, taking kids on outings and all. I just feel like the very day has me on the run. The very day is a whirlwind of averting disaster and kissing booboos and getting everybody fed and cleaned and picking up and putting to bed and playing games and getting them to calm down.
And then there's my To Do list, which is still somewhat spotty in its achievements. I'm always trying to multi task my day and be so productive.
Sometimes I feel caught between my to do list and my living.
Do you have ways to live in the moment without letting your moments take over? Ways of getting things done without letting your To Do list make you into a future machine?
I guess I want to start living in the moment again. It feels so hard.
I'm finding this Wreck This Journal by Keri Smith and Jamie Ridler's bookclub to be a big help in living in the moment. I used to write in my journal like I was mainlining ink and paper. Now I have the blog, but it's a different thing.
Even my paintings are less about my thoughts about life and more about an abstract idea and the application of the paint on the paper. I enjoy it, but it's not the same as the personal tidbits I put into my journals and even Flying Girl. Right now I have pages of paintings and drawings in WTJ that I'd like to share, but the boy is dropping his nap and my time to organize it all is getting shorter. Sigh.
Yesterday, I wrote a poem on the WTJ page with the direction to "WRITE CARELESSLY. NOW"
Here's my poem
as days shock by in a never ending
cycle of tears and tantrums, cheerios
the dirty diapers and demands, the
hunger and small soft kisses, carelessly
now we follow the sighs .
carelessly, now. carelessly, now
grasping too tight to that relentless
motion trying to gain control of the
mommy mommy mommy never ending.
rushing past the very things
that make my heart beat.
just trying to get through the day
carelessly holding in my own
this aching precious life
waiting to be roused too early
by children and their cuddles
that morph into shrieks. carelessly