Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Flying Girl Without a Map, or Just Breathe

Flying Girl Without a Map, or Just Breathe
Golden Fluid Acrylics on paper, 6x9"

I have not been posting regularly. Sorry. I have not been painting regularly. I try and it just comes out not quite right. I am not pleased with my work. It doesn't jibe... or nothing comes at all and I succumb to relaxing on the couch and watching TV.

Back when I was painting every day, I painted anyway. Even when it wasn't coming out right. And I posted those crappy paintings, too.

Lately, it all feels too significant to do that. I am "An Artist" and everything must be genius and inspired. Or at least I should fee connected to the work.

Well. I'm not forcing myself to paint a new work every day, although I still generally do paint something, or part of something. And I generally try to be creative in other ways, too.

Lately, I'm thinking maybe the painting needs to take a break and I should give my attention to my novel again. I have ignored my novel for most of this year. I don't want to, but it tool so much energy to open my shop and then to try to make something of it. Now I'm thinking I need to rearrange my priorities. I'm trying to figure out the new plans.

I think this might be part of why Flying Girl has been doing very little flying. I don't know where she's going. The path has gotten a bit cloudy.

Let me tell you, today's painting wasn't supposed to be clouds. It was a distant city... but the little girl decided she wanted to join in and dipped her fingers in my palette and did some finger painting on top of my work. Screwed up the background. Made Mama mad.

It took me a day before I decided to just paint over the background and give her some clouds. I mean, it fit better with the theme of "just breathe" anyway. And lately I've been craving simplicity. The less the better. I want some breathing room.

So here I am, after confusion and messes and being lost and being tired and I'm back with another painting, a few new ideas, but no decisions as of yet.

I'm still flying, although I might be a little confused. Just trying to remember to breathe.


aquamaureen said...

Oh, Rowena . . . "just breathe"--that is already doing so much!!! you are staying honest and real, and that is huge, too.

And I am sure that Little Girl's fingerpainting on top of Mama's work was not fun at first for Mama to experience . . . but what about a collaboration on purpose?????

tekeal said...

just breathe... i say this so much to others in my life and i need to remember it more myself too. here's to wishing you simplicity ...also in enjoying a couch from time to time without anything else. (including guilt!)

Cori Lynn Berg said...

I'm so glad you stuck with this painting. I just love it. I've been feeling much the same way myself these days. I find that if I randomly choose some tubes of paint to start with, it gives me a challenge to solve.

Rowena said...

Maureen, that's a good idea, doing a collaboration painting with the kids. I have done that in the past, and she loves to paint, while the boy is a little more insecure. Maybe a group project would be good. Will try.

Tekeal, thanks. I know the guilt is a completely wasted emotion and not effective.

Cori, I'm glad I stuck with it too, I broke through, which is why sometimes we SHOULD just stick to it. I do the pulling random tubes, too, sometimes, although not with this one. It does help sometimes with the block, and often challenges me and offers a surprise.

m. heart said...

Rowena, I thought you'd like to hear that I just bought myself a copy of "Flying Girl Yearns for the Sea, or Defy Convention" to celebrate a promotion I just got at work. I loved that painting when you first posted it here, as it reminds me of my RI roots (and my subsequent constant yearning for the sea), and "Defy Convention" certainly speaks to me. I would love to use an image of the piece on my blog tonight or tomorrow (with a link to your shop of course), if that's ok?

Juliet Colors said...

This is lovely. I love the clouds and the atmosphere. I also have to struggle to remember to breathe some days.

Shell said...

I love the girl flying above the clouds. Sometimes just taking a breathe can help tremendously to get some space and perspective.

D'Arcy said...

I love the pristine whitness of her dress. White reminds you to just breathe.

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