Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Flying Girl Begins to See, or There is a Pattern

Flying Girl Begins to See, or There is a Pattern
3/9/09
Golden Fluid Acrylic on Paper, 5"x8"

Holy Cow, my peoples.

I'm a little weirded out right now. A little confronted with long held, maybe not so true beliefs.

I'm selling art.

I'm a WORKING artist.

Do you know, I went to a liberal arts college instead of an art school because I didn't think it was possible to make money as an artist without "selling out." This is the legacy of being the daughter of a starving artist.

You see... it doesn't matter where you start out on this journey, you still have to get through your shiite.

So, here I am, and if it keeps going in this fashion, I will actually be making a living at this. A small living, but that's all I wanted.

I'm having a hard time believing that just sitting here is producing money.

But then, I step back from my issues and feelings (like how I feel like I am wasting my time, still, when I am sitting at the computer, the way I wasted my time by reading book after book. I was a guilty reader as a child) and I start to see how everything I have done-- not just in the last 10 weeks, but in the last 18 months since I hatched the etsy idea, or in the last 20 years since getting out of college, or even my whole life-- maybe even my ancestors' lives, has moved me towards this point. (How's that for a run on sentence?)

If I didn't think I could make a living as an artist, would I have studied English or become a teacher? Would I have left New York City to encounter another life? If my own personal economy hadn't crashed and burned, would I have thought about entering the marketplace? Even if I hadn't been so scared and put it off so long, trying to be prepared, would I have developed my work into what it has become?

I don't know. I don't know what this pattern of my life looks like or what it means or where it is going.

But I can see there is a pattern. I can see how things are connected.

Oh. Plus I love swirls. I used to fill notebooks in school with all sorts of swirls and mandalas and paisleys and grids and whatever fell out of my fingers and pen. So when the prompt for Illustration Friday was intricate, this is what fell out of my brush. If you look closely, you will see that the background is very similar to that last painting's background, but I needed to do "intricate" so I tried something unexpected. I like something about how the way it came out.

I also wanted to thank you all for your support. I am very thankful to all of you, long time readers, or new ones, buyers and lookers. I've decided I really do love the internet.

Oh yeah, and I'm posting the Roadblocks paintings today, so keep your eye out. I'll do this one, too.

15 comments:

blisschick said...

Oh, Rowena, what a wonderful and JOYOUS post this is! Congratulations. To discover and then live your true self -- there is nothing more, is there?! And I think this is one of my favorite flying girls so far. :)

jumbleberryjam said...

Congratulations! You're in inspiration in so many ways!!! :-)

septembermom said...

This flying girl is beautiful! There must be such a feeling of satisfaction and happiness now that your art is "taking off" for all to appreciate!!

ina said...

another beauty!

congratulations on your success!

THEE DUCHESS SATURDAY said...

Dearest Rowena,
Congratulations on all of your Creative Endeavors!
Your Flying Girls will soon be flying away from home into the hearts of other Creative Women and they will inspire others to make a living from being an artist.
Thank you for all of your beautiful art and posts - your blog is the one I look forward to visiting every morning! Please, keep creating these inspiring girls!!!

Juliet Colors said...

Congratulations! You are such an inspiration.

Dirt. said...

i love this flying girl, and i love this post! how wonderful that you're finally getting the recognition you deserve... issues, feelings, kids and all else aside... your work is selling itself! congratulations!

Lynn said...

Congratulations on becoming a selling artist! I applaud you!
Love your swirls.

Kelly (conversemomma) said...

Wow! This post hit too close to home. I did not think I could be a writer, so I became a teacher in the suburbs of NYC instead. Although I love my job, I am carrying a planet of regret. I just keep telling myself that it is not too late. It's not too late, right?

mirien said...

Congratulations!!! I confess I follow your blog in a lurking capacity, but I read every day and am always inspired. You desrve this so much and may it be the next step on this crazy journey of life and launch you into something amazing!

m. heart said...

first, congratulations!

second, i absolutely, 100% believe in patterns and this belief gives me great faith that even when i'm at/in a place that doesn't seem to make sense at the time, it's for a reason i will come to discover and understand later on. it's never failed to work out that way.

marta said...

Next payday and a flying girl will be mine. Hurray. And hurray for you. You are an inspiration to those of us who worry and wonder if we're doing the right thing. Yes, we can!

tekeal said...

more congratulations!! i'm definitely in the process of deciding which one to order... and i'm still REALLY HOPING that you'll put them into a book. (and, i think you are being very humble in what fee you're asking for them. i think you deserve more!)

silviarte said...

Oh, then IT IS possible? that's great news!
Congratulations!
Your work inspires poetry.

Jul said...

Just wanted to say congrats! Yay for being a working artist.

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