Is it a coincidence that yesterday was my 6 week post partum mark? I'm thinking, not really. Recovery from having a baby and being pregnant has been achieved. Maybe it's not just an empty date.
I have been slowly getting back to myself. I was pretty productive yesterday after MONTHS of inaction. Gosh, I hate being pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, I like children and babies, but the whole weirdo process of pregnancy and childbirth sucks. Some women love it. Some women are bathed in a soup of happy-hormones. I am not one of them. My hormones are the mean and unhappy ones, the lay on the couch all day ones, the anti-social hermit ones. I wish I had the happy hormones. As I don't, unless S can figure out a way to carry a baby, we're done having kids. (Yippee!)
Now I can stop being an incubator and start being me again.
Of course, after all that time, I have to start slow. I need to build up my routines again and get used to writing and painting and organizing and being out in the world again.
My primary plan is to revise my novel by May 15th. Okay, I actually said something like the 12th, but the 15th sounds better. It's easier to remember, anyway. So yesterday, I printed out my novel, or most of it. I forgot a chapter, but I feel like I achieved something by simply printing it out. I'd better be sure I don't rest on my laurels on this one, because just printing it out isn't really revising, although it is a step towards it. Even writing about it is making me confused. I may have reached 6 weeks, but I am still suffering from baby brain.... that's supposed to continue until 6 months! I can't wait 6 months to be productive, though. I must power through and revise and write and create in any way I can.
Remember, it's the fine art of applying butt to chair.
But right now, I hear the monkey boy calling from the crib, and I must, once again, postpone my artistic ambitions and take care of my day (24hour day) job.
1 week ago