The Girl, Creation and Destruction

The Girl,
acrylic on paper
8.5" x 5"

Since I have decided to both work and stay home (it's a fancy trick, involving part time and weekend hours and  a sometimes babysitter) boy oh boy is it hard to get creative work done.

To be honest, this is probably why I haven't been keeping up with my blog as much as I used to. I just have a load and a half on my plate. The kids, oh the kids. You know, it never really gets easier... or it does, but then their needs change and you have to adjust everything all over again.

But for all the frustrations, and for all that a kid can wreck your living room and anything left within reach of grubby little hands, a kid is also a fountain of creativity.

Since having kids, I have learned how to do all sorts of things that I always wanted to and had never bothered to sit down and try. From baking a chicken to making a stuffed animal to writing a novel and taking it through the draft process, I have never been more creative.

Well. Aside from the three years of pregnancy and infanthood, and these last few months that have not been kind to my writing or painting. Ok, so periodically, the creativity hasn't been that good, but overall, parenting has added a whole new level of creativity to my creating.

They say necessity is the mother of invention, and when you're a mother, everything is about necessity.

I NEED to have something creative for myself outside of creativity. I NEED to leave something for my kids, a body of work or an example of work ethic. I NEED to make something for dinner though I haven't been to the grocery store. I NEED to use my childfree time productively. I NEED to make something cute for Christmas presents. They NEED something to make them feel special. They NEED a fun birthday party despite a slight budget. They NEED to allow their imaginations to run free. They NEED that toy they see so it's lucky I can figure out a way to make it.

Really, the needs are endless, and it's those needs that inspire my creativity. Sometimes the needs are theirs, sometimes they are mine, but since becoming a mom, my life has been much, MUCH less about what I want, and much more about what I and my family need.

Right about now, I need to get back to my writing, to remember my creative routines, and to take myself more seriously as an artist and a writer. I'm not really sure how I'm going to balance this need with the needs of sticky fingers, and hungry bellies and clingy arms... but I need to figure it out.