Sunday, November 04, 2007

Nanowrimo Day Three: 4007 words

It is SOOOOOO hard.

And it’s not the writing that is hard. It’s me. It’s fighting with me, with my exhaustion and distraction and confusion and worry that it is no good and fear that it makes no sense and lack of focus and lack of will to write.

I knew that it was a normal difficulty, that the struggle is part of the process and that with persistence it would pass, but that doesn’t make it any easier to bear when you are stuck in the middle of the stuck.

I wouldn’t turn off the tv. I went online to various websites. I sat trying, again and again to get on the nanowrimo site. I even started a fight with S. All ways, I know, to avoid sitting down and facing the page with my FULL attention.

And when I did, finally, without distractions, without feeling sorry for myself and my sleep deprivation or bad back or lack of planning time, well, I broke through the rough spot and found where I was going with this scene. And it made sense in the story. And things that needed to be addressed were addressed. And characters were fleshed out. And I started to really feel the story, which I wasn’t before.

What a relief. I believe that’s called breakthrough. Gosh I hope it lasts until tomorrow.

The moral of the story, trust in the process, don’t give up, and write, write, write.

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