The baby is napping. The boy and S are out on adventure (also known as “getting the newspaper,”) The National Geographic Channel is on tv, and I want to snatch this quiet moment of time to carve something out for myself.
Last night, I said ‘yes’ to my novel, and went through 25 pages. Granted, it’s not really revising yet, or maybe it is revising, as I am re-visioning the book. Whatever it is, I said ‘yes’ and committed to it, and a big chunk got done. If I can commit one hour a day to doing this, then I should be done with this phase in (quick, math skills, de-rustify, and…)oh,15 days, give or take. Two weeks. Then I can get down to the real business of rewriting.
Really, it just means choosing my book over television. And it’s the summer season, really, what’s on? (putting aside the obvious answer to that of So You Think You Can Dance.) And when you come down to it, it means choosing me.
In direct opposition to saying ‘yes,’ to choosing me, is allowing my fears to win—My enemy, the negative mantra of “I can’t.”
We all have a negative mantra in our head. It’s tough to get over. You need to practice with things that have a smaller stake, so that you can build up to those really big things you are afraid of, like success, or failure. (I’m never really sure which I am more afraid of, success or failure.)
The ‘Yes’ I want to practice saying right now, is the ‘yes’ of getting out of the house and going places with my kids. It’s quite daunting to pack them both up, get every body ready—changed, fed, cleaned, clothed, napped—and then wrestle them into jackets, shoes, carriers, and then carry them both down stairs into the stroller and out the door. Just thinking about it makes me tired. It always makes me tired, and so often I let that take over and just give up, play in doors, allow lunch and nap to take so long that we run out of time before the bedtime routine.
Seriously, I now need a nap just from thinking about it.
But I have to buck up and say ‘yes’ to this. Doing just this, getting out and about will make me feel a little bit more capable and energetic, I think. I can stay on top of errands, feel like I am giving my kids the chance to play outside, get some sun on my face, meet up with people… you know, basically living.
One yes leads to the next yes leads to the next leads to living the life I want to live. So, let’s practice saying ‘yes’ by going to the playground.