Flying Girl After Many Revisionings, or I am made of dreaming

Flying Girl After Many Revisionings, or I am made of dreaming
66/100 in 100 Creative Challenge
Golden Fluid Acrylics, Pitt Artist pens on Paper, 5.5x8.5"

I have been working on this painting for quite some me. If I had finished it when I started it, it would probably be # 45 or something like that. I started out thinking of Klimt. Then I turned it pink. I added squares. I added pink and white dots. Then I turned it pink and sky blue. Then it sat around for days (weeks?) as an unfulfilled idea.

Then yesterday I looked at it and said... well this is not right.

I added gold dots ontop of the pink and white dots. I added purple dots on top of the gold. I outlined everything in purple. I outlined everything in gold. I added teal dots on top of the purple, like peacock feather eyes. I painted the pink dress purple. I painted the sky blue sky into twilight. Blech. I painted the pink and white hair purple. I painted the dress white. I painted the sky storm gray. I added the white thought ribbon. I painted some words in. I painted some blue in the dress ontop of the still wet white. I painted in some black birds flying. I outlined the thought ribbon. I painted out the words in the thought ribbon. I drew in some swirls. I drew in some raindrops. I painted out the birds. I added more swirls. I decided I liked the rough unplanned look of it. I liked the weird color combos. The empty spaces and the random additions.

I have always had a problem with pretty. I think my first urge is to always paint pretty.

And yet I am drawn to rough and slightly ugly. I am drawn to powerful, and primal. Stuff from the gut.

I have a hard time painting ugly though. It almost always feels wrong unless it is pretty. But pretty is shallow to me.

I have been working on finding the balance between pretty and from the gut.

It's very hard.

Maybe the difficulty is within myself. Maybe it's my definition of "pretty" that has made the limits. Maybe I'm showing my neurosis. As a pretty girl, I have always run from being the "pretty girl."

Where do you find your long held ideas are getting in the way of your art? How are you limiting your own creativity and holding yourself back?

Are you afraid to write that novel because someone told you it was a waste of time? That you weren't good enough? That you can't succeed? Are you afraid to push yourself with your paintings because you're "not an artist, you're just messing around"? Are you not getting up on that stage because you aren't the kind of person to be in the center of attention? Are you only painting landscapes because portraits are too hard? Are you only doing acrylics because oils are too intimidating?

Explore what you are scared of. Explore what you are afraid of having people think.

Hey, paint a picture (or write a poem or do a dance) about it.... it couldn't hurt.