Today, I worked on my altered book. It’s Alice in Wonderland. I’m in a place of wondering where my white rabbit is… that thing I follow to find my path. It’s funny, because that question, that journey was asked many years ago, when I started this altered book, before kids. In the intervening years, having my two kids, I fell off the altered book thing, and art in general, but when I opened up the old book to continue it where I left off, I found that I am indeed still looking for that white rabbit.
Doing my last entry, or perhaps contemplating it, I realized that my white rabbit on this adventure (called my life) is actually my children.
It’s still weird sometimes to say “my children.” Some how, the idea that I have children is foreign. Not me, I’m the artsy girl who reads books and writes. But now I’m something more. I’m mommy.
I don’t really know what that means yet, maybe. Not what it means to my self, or what it means to my life, but there is no denying that it is and will continue to be a huge part of my life.
So here they are, my little white rabbits. For my page in my altered book, I had G draw/scribble on the gessoed page. I gave him the same colors as I did in the previous page, so there will be a link. I think I will have the Bean put her footprint on the page, too. And then I will write something—I don’t know what yet. It will be inspired by what my children have done.
My children. Huh.
What a beautiful post. And an incredible picture of your kids -- totally captures that stages of two little ones, each with their own personalities, a wee bit of independence and lots of need too. It's a great age, but it's also the hardest as a mother who's trying to maintain a creative spark, I think. There's just so many demands on your time and so little sleep and time for reflection. I had to get beyond this age, this 24/7 version of parenting, to get back to my creative center. Not that it took forever, just a little more growing up is what worked for me.
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