Wednesday, December 19, 2007

I just spent a couple of hours Christmas shopping, sans kids.

I got S a video trilogy that shall remain nameless on the off chance he finds this site. I’m thinking I might give a movie marathon basket to go with it.

Man, I should have gotten the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I would have made a basket with all sorts of hobbity foods—sausage, apples, wasa crisp as stand in for the elven lembas bread, ale, mirth leaf (I think that’s tobacco,) some smoked salmon (close enough to raw fishies,) maybe I could even get some rabbit, or perhaps some kind of jerky would be rough enough to stand in for travel foods. Alas, I did not think of this when I picked my movie trilogy, and the one I got does not lend itself so nicely to cuisine.

I got some videos for kids, too. Not cartoons, but the first Harry Potter and The Princess Bride. I know G likes the first, and I’m sure he’ll like the second, although it is going as a present to Ivy (really for me, but we’ll just say Ivy.)

Then I went to the bookstore and started to get overwhelmed. I really haven’t bought books for the kids in so long there were too many things to choose from. So many lovely books. It started to depress me, since I only had the cash in my wallet and it would have been so easy to go over that limit. Put back the hard cover Madeline book and got the soft cover instead. Put back the multiple Suesses. Resisted continuing to browse. I did get a gorgeous animal book for G, and a couple of books for I, but I couldn’t get the mini library that I wanted.

I think one of the keys to having a merry little Christmas is to not get upset that you can’t have everything you want. I suppose that Christmas, in a way, is about wishes. It’s become way too materialistic for my liking, but it is about wishes, even when they are not materialistic. Wishing your family could be all together and happy with no drama, wishing you could bake more and more cookies, wishing your house could be lit up with festivities and spotlessly clean, wishing you could have another serving of Christmas ham, wishing you could go to a million parties, or wishing you could stay home with a movie and a cup of hot cocoa. And we can’t always get those things we wish for.

I guess there has to be some sort of balance between wishing for all that good cheer and being content in what your life actually is. Maybe that’s why the holidays are so notorious for depression and suicide, because the reality almost never lives up to the wishes and expectations.

Maybe that’s also why we should focus on the merry LITTLE part of Christmas. Focus on the little joys, the little goals, the little life that is going on in the present (not in the presents, but in the present.)

I want to focus on the Christmas lights, and G’s anticipation. The smell of evergreen trees. The holiday movies on tv. Singing carols. Cookies. Taking the time to paint or stitch or bake something by hand, something intended for someone I love.

Merry (little) Christmas

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Stitch by Stitch, Progress Goes Slowly, but Quick.

Making Ivy’s Kitty Ugly Doll is a little bit of an adventure, although tedious at the same time. I don’t know what it’s going to be like, but I think it will be kind of cool. I have no idea if she’ll actually like it. I hope it will be sturdy enough for a baby/toddler.

So far, after designing it and making my own pattern, I sewed the arms and taill and sewed half of the body. There are a few pattern flaws, but I’m okay with that. That’s where the “ugly” and the freeform come into the equation. I’ll just take a nip and tuck with my needle.

Oh, did I mention I’m doing this by hand? No sewing machine. And I’m not a very pretty seamstress, but again, I don’t care. Luckily, the furry fabric hides all the stitches. That was a lucky accident.

Have one half the body left and two legs. And the stuffing and the stitching of a face. Do I have any embroidery floss?

I hope I have time to finish one for G as well. I think I will make him a monster… a wild thing, since that is what he is. It needs horns and teeth and maybe claws if I can swing it. A mane perhaps.

Friday, December 14, 2007

I have been watching

G turn into a big boy, right before my eyes.

He’s almost 2 1/2 years old and I can see something in his face and in his body changing from that toddler to that little kid.

It’s a very odd thing. I mean, I saw him go from baby to toddler, and that was pretty dramatic, and I am watching Ivy go through the same transition, but this change is different. This change means he is becoming a real person, not just a baby or a bigger baby, but someone who is getting ready (slowly) to be an individual doing things and going places on his own.

So strange. I can almost see the boy he will be. Almost, almost see the man he will be.

Many moms would be sad to see this change, I think. Sad to feel like they are losing their little baby, but not me. I can’t feel sad about it. I find it more along the lines of exciting. Of course, I think I am really not a very good mom of toddlers. I don’t think it’s my thing, and I think I will have much more of a handle on older kids. I really can’t wait.

I might be the only mother alive who would rather have teenagers than babies. Well, I’ll be getting my wish sooner than I think.